Relationships can have a significant emotional impact on both men and women. However, recent research suggests that men may actually be more emotionally affected by the quality of their romantic relationships than women. In this article, we’ll explore some of the evidence behind the claim that guys are more emotionally vulnerable in relationships, and discuss some of the potential reasons why this may be the case.
Do guys fall in love faster?
One interesting finding from relationship research is that men tend to fall in love and commit to relationships more quickly and eagerly than women. For example, one study found that men are more likely to profess love first in heterosexual relationships. They are also more likely to want to move in together and get married sooner than women.
This apparent eagerness for commitment and emotional connection could indicate that men have a greater emotional need for a long-term relationship. They may be more willing to rush into commitment as a way to fulfill this need for intimate companionship and support.
Are men more affected by breakups?
If men commit faster in relationships, it follows that they may also struggle more when those relationships end. And indeed, multiple studies have found that men are more negatively impacted by breakups than women on average.
For example, a large poll by a dating website found that 64% of men said their breakup involved high amounts of emotional distress and heartbreak, compared to only 46% of women. Similarly, a study that analyzed breakup stories found the emotional arc of men’s stories showed more negativity and depression.
Researchers believe biology may play a role here. Men have lower amounts of the bonding hormone oxytocin than women, which could make them less resilient in coping with breakups. Men also tend to have fewer close friendships outside of their romantic relationships, giving them less emotional support when single.
Do men have stronger emotional reactions in relationships?
Not only do men appear particularly eager at the start of relationships and hard-hit at their end, but they also seem to have stronger emotional responses all throughout a relationship.
For example, a recent survey of married couples in the U.S. found that:
- 48% of husbands said they experienced “very high” amounts of stress due to marital conflict, compared to only 33% of wives
- Men were nearly 10% more likely to be affected “a great deal” by day-to-day marital tensions
- 33% of husbands said issues in their marriage made them irritable at work, compared to only 22% of wives
This evidence points to men experiencing higher emotional reactivity within marriage. They report greater distress over conflicts, more spillover of marital tension into work life, and so on.
Do men have a harder time coping alone?
Men seem to benefit more than women from simply being in a relationship in the first place. For instance, multiple studies over decades have found that married men tend to be healthier and live longer than bachelors.
Researchers suggest this marriage benefit stems in large part from social and emotional support. Being in a relationship means men have someone there for them, which helps mitigate psychological distress and stress.
On the flip side, men suffer more when they are socially isolated and alone for long periods. Loneliness appears to take a greater toll on men’s mental and physical health compared to women.
This may explain why divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide, while divorced women experience no change. Men deprived of marital social support seem to unravel more quickly.
Do men need intimacy and companionship?
Underlying much of the research on men’s emotional vulnerability in relationships is a common thread – they have a strong need for intimacy, companionship, and belonging.
While society often stereotypes men as stoic and independent, the human need to connect with others exists regardless of gender. In fact, social connection is considered a fundamental human need, up there with needs like food and shelter.
And without intimate social bonds, men in particular seem susceptible to declines in mental and physical health. For men, relationships provide an essential form of support.
Conclusion
The evidence suggests that the effects of relationships on men’s emotions shouldn’t be underestimated. While individual men will react differently, men as a group appear to be very emotionally invested in their close relationships.
Men have a strong biological drive for companionship and bonding. When deprived of these social needs, the consequences for men’s health and well-being can be severe.
Relationship problems and breakups tend to hit men hard emotionally, perhaps harder than women on average. And this may stem from men’s greater reliance on intimate relationships to help cope with psychological distress.
In the end, it seems men have a deep need for emotional connection and support in relationships – possibly even more so than stereotypes would suggest. This should motivate greater empathy and understanding for men’s emotional experiences, which are too often belittled or ignored.