Many couples wonder if a man’s attraction to his pregnant wife will change during pregnancy. This is an understandable concern, as a woman’s body goes through dramatic changes when she is expecting. Some men do report feeling less sexually attracted to their partners during this time. However, others say their attraction remains strong or even increases. There are several factors that can influence a man’s feelings about the changes happening in his pregnant wife’s body.
Physical Changes in Pregnancy
A pregnant woman’s body changes in many ways as the baby develops. Some of the most noticeable changes occur in the breasts, stomach, and hormonal levels. Here is an overview of the key physical changes:
Breast Changes
A woman’s breasts start growing early in pregnancy as they prepare to produce milk. They become larger, heavier, more sensitive, and darker around the nipples. These changes can make some men feel less attracted, as the breasts seem different than before. Other men find the larger, fuller breasts more of a turn-on.
Weight Gain
Pregnant women typically gain between 25-35 pounds over the course of their pregnancy. Much of this weight gain occurs in the abdomen as the uterus expands. Some men may be less attracted to the extra curves and weight, while others don’t mind or even enjoy the changes.
Skin Changes
Pregnancy hormones can cause changes to the skin, including melasma (dark patches), redness, acne, and stretch marks. Some men may find these skin changes less appealing.
Sense of Smell
Heightened or changed sense of smell is common in pregnancy. This can make some women more sensitive to smells they used to enjoy – including their partner’s natural scent. This may temporarily affect a man’s attractiveness to his pregnant wife.
Nausea
Morning sickness and nausea affects over 70% of pregnant women. This can make some women less interested in sex, especially during the first trimester. Men may feel less desired by their wives if sudden nausea often puts an end to intimacy.
Fatigue
Extreme tiredness in the first and third trimesters can sap a woman’s energy and libido. If a pregnant woman doesn’t have the energy for sex, men may interpret this as disinterest.
Emotional Factors
In addition to physical changes, there are emotional factors that can impact attraction when a woman is expecting:
Hormone Changes
Pregnancy leads to surging and fluctuating hormones in a woman’s body. This can affect her moods, sexual desire, and how she feels about her changing body. Men may find the unpredictability of hormones disconcerting.
Body Image Concerns
Some pregnant women struggle with body image as their figures change dramatically. If a woman expresses disgust or dissatisfaction with her pregnant body, her partner may internalize this as a rejection of him.
Fears About Sex
Many pregnant women worry that sex will harm the developing baby. If a woman refuses intimacy due to these fears, men may feel undesired and unattractive. However, anxiety about sex is usually unwarranted in a normal pregnancy.
Nesting Instinct
Many pregnant women experience a strong urge to clean, organize, and prepare the home for the new baby. This “nesting” instinct can become all-consuming, leaving little time or energy for couples’ intimacy. Men may feel neglected if all their wife’s attention is focused on setting up the nursery.
Focus on the Baby
As the pregnancy progresses, a woman’s thoughts and emotions become increasingly consumed with the baby’s development and upcoming arrival. Men may feel left out if all conversations revolve around the baby and neglect the couple’s relationship.
How Common is Diminished Attraction in Pregnancy?
Now that we’ve considered the many changes pregnant women experience, how often do these changes lead to diminished attraction from male partners? Here’s what research reveals:
Scientific Research
| Study | Findings |
|---|---|
| 2006 study in Journal of Sex Research | – 26% of men reported feeling less attraction while their partner was pregnant |
| 2017 study in Journal of Sexual Medicine | – 15% of expectant fathers lost some attraction to their pregnant partner |
| 2020 study in Archives of Sexual Behavior | – 20.7% of men reported decreased attraction, 48.4% reported no change, and 30.9% reported increased attraction |
These studies indicate that a drop in attraction is relatively common during pregnancy, reported by 15-26% of male partners. However, the majority of men studied did not report diminished attraction. Some even experienced increased attraction.
Anecdotal Reports
Anecdotal reports from men about how pregnancy affected their attraction to their partners reveal a wide range of experiences:
– “When she was pregnant, I felt embarrassed and awkward seeing her naked with the big belly.”
– “I wasn’t as attracted to my wife for parts of the pregnancy because of her mood swings, but it always came back.”
– “Her new curves were sexy to me and I couldn’t keep my hands off her changing pregnant body!”
So while some men clearly do struggle with lower attraction during their wife’s pregnancy, others seem to take the changes in stride or even find them arousing. The range of responses reflects how subjective attraction and desire can be.
When Decreased Attraction is Problematic
For many couples, a fluctuation in attraction during pregnancy is temporary and not emotionally damaging. But in some cases, a pronounced or sustained drop in a man’s attraction for his pregnant wife can lead to relationship strain:
Impact on Intimacy
A lack of physical attraction can make it difficult for couples to maintain intimacy, closeness, and a good sex life throughout pregnancy. This can foster resentment and disconnection.
Damage to Self-Esteem
If a pregnant woman feels unattractive to her partner, it can damage her confidence and self-worth. Knowing her changing body turns off her husband can be devastating.
Assumptions of Infidelity
When attraction wanes in a relationship, suspicions of cheating can arise. Unfounded accusations of infidelity can further strain the relationship.
Prepares for Rejection
A woman whose partner seems turned off by her pregnant body may brace herself for rejection after the baby is born and the extra weight lingers.
Questioning Commitment
If a man finds his pregnant wife unattractive, the woman may question how deep his commitment really is. She may worry he will leave her for someone he considers more desirable.
Coping Strategies if Attraction Declines
If you are part of a couple facing decreased attraction during pregnancy, there are proactive coping strategies you can try:
Honest Communication
Have an open, judgement-free talk about what you both are thinking and feeling regarding attraction. Hold back criticism.
See a Counselor
If communication has broken down, seek help from a neutral third party counselor or therapist. They can facilitate difficult discussions.
Focus on Non-Physical Intimacy
Make time for emotional intimacy through conversation, cuddling, kissing, and non-sexual affection.
Accentuate the Positive
The husband should ensure he compliments what he still finds attractive about his wife, and avoid comparing to her pre-pregnancy body.
Reframe Mindset
The husband can consciously remind himself that fluctuations in attraction are normal during major life changes like pregnancy. Reframe this as a temporary phase, not a permanent loss.
Practice Empathy
Both partners should try to see the situation from the other’s perspective. Understand it is not a rejection, but a biological response outside conscious control.
Don’t Personalize It
The pregnant woman should remember hormonal shifts may be impacting her partner’s libido too. It is not about her.
Explore Books/Media
Read stories of couples who overcame postpartum body image struggles to renew intimacy. See you are not alone.
Conclusion
Physical and emotional changes during pregnancy often impact couples’ intimate relationships. Some expectant fathers report feeling less sexually attracted to their pregnant wives, though a majority are unaffected or even more attracted. For couples that do struggle with decreased attraction, proactive communication, empathy, and perspective can help safeguard the relationship. Remember, for most couples any declines in attraction are temporary and not indicative of deeper marital problems.