Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. It often begins in childhood and can persist into adulthood, causing difficulties in daily functioning. ADHD has been associated with higher rates of various problems in relationships and marriages. This raises the question of whether ADHD increases the risk of divorce.
ADHD and Relationship Difficulties
There are several reasons why ADHD may lead to struggles in relationships and marriages:
- Inattention – People with ADHD may have difficulty paying attention during conversations, forgetting events or commitments, being easily distracted and having disorganization, all of which can strain relationships.
- Impulsivity – Impulsive behaviors like interrupting frequently, poor financial decisions, substance misuse and extramarital affairs are more common in ADHD and can damage relationships.
- Emotional dysregulation – ADHD involves difficulty regulating emotions which may lead to mood swings, anger outbursts, chronic frustration and emotional overreactions that partners struggle with.
- Hyperfocus – When people with ADHD hyperfocus on tasks for hours, they may neglect their partner’s needs and isolate themselves.
- Low self-esteem – ADHD symptoms like underachievement, job loss and forgetfulness often cause low self-esteem which hinders relationships.
- Stress – The everyday impairments caused by ADHD symptoms generate stress in relationships, compounded by partners misunderstanding ADHD behaviors.
Partners of people with ADHD report more loneliness, reduced marital satisfaction, less affectionate behavior and more negative communication compared to other couples. People with ADHD describe their spouses as less supportive and more controlling than they would like.
Studies on ADHD and Divorce Rate
Several studies have investigated whether adults with ADHD have higher divorce rates than the general population:
- A 2018 study of over 3 million people in Sweden found the divorce rate among men and women with ADHD was 2 times higher than among those without ADHD.
- A 2019 study in the U.S. analyzed a health insurance database of over 5 million people and determined ADHD patients had a 46% higher 5-year divorce rate.
- A 2021 study followed 379 youth with and without ADHD into adulthood. By age 40, nearly double the number of ADHD patients were divorced compared to the control group.
Collectively, these large studies demonstrate adults with ADHD are at substantially higher risk of divorce across genders, age groups, and geographic regions.
Possible Explanations for Higher Divorce Rate
There are several reasons why marital relationships involving a partner with ADHD may struggle and end in divorce more frequently:
- ADHD symptoms like inattention, impulsivity and emotional dysregulation can strain relationships over time if the behaviors are misunderstood by partners.
- Partners often take ADHD behaviors personally rather than understanding they are symptoms of a neurobiological disorder.
- Lack of ADHD treatment prevents symptom improvement and perpetuates impairments.
- The chaos, forgetfulness, job loss and substance abuse associated with ADHD introduces major stress and conflict into marriages.
- People with ADHD engage in more risky sexual behaviors, increasing the chance of infidelity that can end marriages.
- Financial difficulties, unemployment and low educational attainment are more common with ADHD and linked to higher divorce rates.
Treatments to Reduce ADHD’s Impact on Relationships
While concerning, a higher risk of divorce is not inevitable for those with ADHD. Several treatment approaches may help reduce impairments in relationships and marriages:
- Medications – Stimulants like methylphenidate (Ritalin) effectively control ADHD symptoms in most patients, which can lessen relationship problems.
- Psychotherapy – Cognitive behavioral therapy helps patients implement organizational skills, manage emotions, and practice compassionate communication that benefits marriages.
- Education – Learning about ADHD helps partners understand it is a legitimate disorder, enabling them to be more patient and supportive.
- Coaching – ADHD coaches teach strategies to reduce forgetfulness and impulsivity while helping couples work together as a team.
- Mindfulness – Mindfulness practices like meditation cultivate impulse control, reduce emotional reactivity, and improve listening skills.
- Relationship Counseling – Couples counseling resolves conflicts stemming from ADHD and promotes emotional connection.
Conclusion
Multiple large studies indicate adults with ADHD have a significantly higher rate of divorce compared to the general population. This appears related to the impairments in attention, impulse control and emotion regulation inherent in ADHD that strain marital relationships over time. However, divorce is not inevitable with ADHD. Various evidence-based treatments can reduce ADHD symptoms and teach couples skills to improve communication and increase understanding. This can help protect relationships even when ADHD is present.