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Can I hold my child back a year?

Many parents face the difficult decision of whether to hold their child back a grade and have them repeat the previous year of school. There are several reasons why a parent may consider retention, such as if the child is struggling academically, is emotionally immature, or is young for their grade. However, research shows that in most cases, holding a child back does more harm than good. This article will explore the pros and cons of grade retention and help parents decide if it’s the right choice for their child.

The reasons parents consider holding their child back

Here are some of the most common reasons parents think about having their child repeat a grade:

  • The child is struggling academically – They are getting poor grades, scoring below grade level on standardized tests, or not meeting academic standards.
  • Immaturity – The child may be young for their grade or seem less mature than their peers socially, emotionally, or behaviorally.
  • The “gift of time” – Parents think giving the child an extra year to grow and develop will help them in the long run.
  • Summer birthdays – A child with a summer birthday may be nearly a full year younger than their oldest classmates, which could contribute to struggles.
  • Life events – If a major life event like a move, family illness, or divorce disrupted learning one year, parents may want the child to have another try.

Many parents in this situation instinctively feel that giving the child an extra year to mature and catch up to expectations could be beneficial. However, the research on this practice should be examined closely.

The cons of holding a child back a grade

While it may seem like retention would give a struggling student time to flourish, studies show there are significant risks and downsides to holding students back a grade. Here are some of the biggest cons to consider:

  • Academic outcomes do not improve – Research shows that repealing a grade does not help students perform better academically in later years. In fact, retained students often fall even further behind their peers over time.
  • Social and emotional impact – Being separated from their peer group and held back can negatively affect a child’s self-esteem, social skills, and mental health.
  • Increased risk of dropping out – Students who are held back are significantly more likely to fail to complete high school and drop out before graduating.
  • No improvement in maturity – While the intention is to give immature students time to develop, studies show grade retention does not typically improve social skills or emotional maturity.
  • Minimal long-term benefits – Any initial academic improvement after repeating a grade tends to fade within 2-3 years. Ultimately there is no lasting benefit.

These findings make a compelling case against holding a child back. Essentially, research shows that retention just delays academic progress for another year rather than improving it. The perceived maturity gains also fail to materialize in most cases.

The pros of grade retention

Although the bulk of the research highlights the risks of holding kids back, some studies have found potential benefits in certain situations. Here are a few pros that may be worth considering:

  • Short-term academic gains – Some studies show a short-term bump in grades and test scores immediately after repeating a grade. But these gains typically fade after 1-3 years.
  • Physical/emotional maturity – An extra year can help a child who is significantly less physically or emotionally mature than peers to catch up.
  • Support services – If high-quality, targeted academic and emotional support is provided during the repeated year, retention can help in select cases.
  • Kindergarten retention – Holding a child back in kindergarten may have more positive impacts than later grades since early literacy and social skills are learning priorities.
  • Strong parental involvement – Retention may be more successful when parents actively support the child’s progress during the repeated year.

However, these potential upsides do not apply to most children and even when present, often fail to translate into lasting gains.

Factors to consider in the decision

Since every child’s situation is unique, parents facing this decision should carefully weigh the following factors:

  • The child’s specific struggles and maturity level
  • Their age and stage of development
  • Input from teachers on the child’s readiness for the next grade
  • How the child feels about the possibility of being held back
  • Availability of support services and interventions
  • Research on grade retention outcomes
  • The family’s financial resources, time, and ability to support the child

Consulting with teachers, administrators, counselors, and the school psychologist can provide valuable perspectives. Open conversations with the child are also essential to understand their needs and feelings. The goal is determining if retention truly addresses the child’s struggles or if other assistive steps would better support their ultimate success.

Alternatives to consider before retaining a child

Since the outcomes associated with holding a student back are predominantly negative, experts recommend first exhausting all other options to help the child flourish. Some alternatives to grade retention include:

  • Academic support – Individual tutoring, multi-tiered intervention programs, summer school, and assistive technology tools can target learning gaps without retention.
  • Counseling – Individual, group or family therapy may help with social struggles, behavior issues, learning disabilities, or emotional trauma underlying the problems.
  • Testing for special education needs – A comprehensive evaluation can identify if the child needs an IEP or 504 plan with customized services and accommodations.
  • Teacher mentoring – Pairing the child with an individual teacher-mentor provides ongoing support and accountability.
  • Early education screening – For very young children, a screening through early intervention programs can identify any developmental delays needing treatment.
  • Temporary part-time retention – The child may benefit from repeating just one or two challenging classes rather than the full school year.

These targeted solutions combined with parental involvement at home offer the academic and emotional reinforcement struggling students need without the drawbacks of full retention.

Focusing on skill-building versus retention

Ultimately, the research makes a clear case that holding a child back should not be the default response when they struggle at school. Instead of viewing retention as a solution, parents can achieve better outcomes by:

  • Pinpointing the child’s specific needs
  • Implementing personalized academic and behavioral interventions
  • Surrounding them with support systems to address challenges
  • Collaborating with the school on a student success plan
  • Focusing their extra year on skill-building and progress versus repetition

This approach avoids the risks of grade retention while fostering meaningful growth. With commitment from teachers and parents, children can get back on track for success.

Making the retention decision

If after exhausting all other options, parents still believe retention is in their child’s best interest, these steps can help:

  • Have ongoing discussions with the child about how they feel about repeating a grade.
  • Meet with the teacher, principal, and support staff to get their input and buy-in to the retention plan.
  • Develop an academic intervention plan detailing the types of assistance and enrichment the school will provide during the repeated year.
  • Identify social-emotional supports like counseling or mentoring to help the child adjust.
  • Inform yourself about the research on outcomes so you can set realistic expectations.
  • Commit to being highly engaged in your child’s education and progress during the retention year.

Retaining students is generally not encouraged based on the data. But if parents believe it’s the best choice after careful thought, implementing these supportive steps can help make the extra year a success.

Conclusion

The choice of whether to hold a child back is complex, personal, and often agonized over by parents who want the best for their struggling student. While an extra year may seem intuitively helpful, overall the research indicates retention is an ineffective intervention and even counterproductive in most cases. There are usually better solutions that address the child’s specific needs without the risks of separation from peers or delaying normal progress. With creativity, support, and skill-building, parents and schools can find alternatives to help every child thrive at their own pace.