Choosing a last name for your baby is an important decision that requires some thought. Here are the key things to know about picking your baby’s surname.
What are the options for baby’s last name?
There are a few common options for what last name to give your baby:
- Father’s last name
- Mother’s last name
- Hyphenated last name (both parents’ names)
- Entirely new last name
Traditionally, babies have been given their father’s last name. However, that is not the only option. Some considerations around each choice:
Father’s last name
This is the most common convention for babies’ last names. Some reasons this option is chosen:
- Carries on paternal family name/lineage
- Easy default choice with little debate
- Matches rest of nuclear family if parents are married
Mother’s last name
Some reasons babies may be given mom’s surname:
- Preserve mom’s cultural identity if different last name
- Mom is single parent or not married to father
- Honor matriarchal family line
- Mom’s last name sounds better
Hyphenated last name
Combining both parents’ surnames with a hyphen is a popular option. Reasons include:
- Combines family heritage from both sides
- Avoids favoring one parent’s name over the other
- Gives child a distinctive name
The main downside is the hyphenated name may be very long.
Entirely new last name
Some parents opt to give their baby a totally new surname. Why this may happen:
- Parents have different last names and want new family identity
- To honor other family like grandparents
- Create a distinctive or aspirational surname
The challenge is getting family members on board with an untraditional new name.
Does the father always decide the last name?
No, the father does not automatically have the right to choose the baby’s last name. Here are some key considerations around decision-making:
- Married parents: Most states allow either parent to fill out the birth certificate and select the surname, even if mom takes dad’s name
- Unmarried parents:Mom has custody until established otherwise and typically gets to pick last name
- Contested naming: If parents cannot agree, they may have to go to court
It is wise for unmarried parents to discuss the last name decision early and come to mutual agreement. For married couples, it’s not strictly the father’s choice and the mother has equal say.
What if parents have different last names?
If parents have kept their own surnames after marriage, they have a few options for the baby’s name. These include:
- Hyphenating both parents’ names
- Choosing one parent’s name as baby’s last name
- Making up an entirely new last name for the baby
Many couples in this situation opt to hyphenate to equally combine both families’ names. However, the blended name can end up very long. Choosing one parent’s surname is simpler, but may favor one side. Overall, it’s up to the parents’ preferences.
Can babys’ last names be changed?
Yes, a baby’s surname can be officially changed after birth. Here’s how:
- After birth, before 1 year old: Parents can submit a name change form to revise the birth certificate
- After 1 year old: File a formal petition for a name change with the court
It’s easier to change right after birth when parents just need to submit a form. After age one, a legal procedure through the courts is required. There is usually a fee involved.
Reasons parents may change baby’s surname after birth include:
- Hyphenated last name ends up too long
- Parents change minds after choosing initial name
- Child is given mom’s maiden name but parents want dad’s name before starting school
Name changes for minor children must be approved by both parents. The court wants consent from both mother and father.
What is the process for disputing a last name?
If unmarried parents cannot agree on the baby’s surname, here is the typical legal process:
- First parent to establish custody after birth chooses name on birth certificate
- Other parent can file a paternity suit to contest surname
- Court holds hearing to determine baby’s “best interests” for name
- Judge considers arguments from both parents and issues ruling
Factors the court may consider in deciding the disputed last name:
- Which parent has legal custody
- Whether both parents are involved in child’s life
- If name connects child to siblings or other family
- If name carries cultural/ethnic identity
- Any history of domestic abuse
Usually it will not be changed unless there are compelling arguments against the current name. The burden of proof is on the parent contesting it.
What if parents never married?
If the parents are unmarried, custody initially defaults to the mother. Therefore, she can choose the baby’s surname if it is contested:
- Father must establish paternity through the courts to get any custody rights
- Mother has sole legal and physical custody until ruled otherwise
- Father must file suit to be able to weigh in on last name decision
Until the father establishes paternity, the mother can name the baby independently. Later on, the name can be revised as part of custody and child support proceedings.
Do siblings need the same last name?
It is not required for siblings to share the same surname. Some examples of different names:
- Half-siblings with one shared bio parent
- Blended family after remarriage with step-siblings
- Siblings born before and after parents’ marriage
- Parent selecting different last name for subsequent kids
While it may seem simpler for siblings to have the same name, factors like remarriage or evolving preferences mean it is not always the case.
What if the mother remarries or has different partners?
If the mother remarries or has children with new partners, surname options include:
- Keep her ex-husband’s name for consistency
- Use new husband’s last name for shared family identity
- Give each child bio father’s surname to retain connection
- Create different surnames for each child
There are many blended family name combinations. Some choose to link to current spouse while others honor connection to biological dads.
What’s the process if parents are unmarried but agree on a last name?
If unmarried parents agree up front on the baby’s surname, it can be straightforward:
- Father establishes paternity by signing Recognition of Parentage form
- Both parents sign baby’s birth certificate agreeing on name
- Certificate legally establishes the chosen surname
This allows smooth naming without court. However, the father should still get a custody order for rights and responsibilities.
Conclusion
In summary, parents have options when choosing their baby’s surname. While fathers’ names have been the norm, mothers’ last names or blended names are becoming more common. The law does not mandate the father’s name if the parents are unmarried. Both parents should discuss their preferences and aim to reach consensus on baby’s name. With some thoughtful consideration, parents can pick the name that best suits their family circumstances.