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Can my child with autism live a normal life?

Having a child diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can be an overwhelming and emotional experience for parents. You may have many questions and concerns about what an autism diagnosis means for your child’s future and whether they can have a “normal” life.

What is autism spectrum disorder?

Autism spectrum disorder refers to a group of complex developmental disorders characterized by challenges with social skills, communication, restrictive/repetitive behaviors, and other disabilities. ASD includes conditions that were previously considered separate disorders such as autism, Asperger’s syndrome, childhood disintegrative disorder, and pervasive developmental disorder.

The term “spectrum” refers to the wide variation in the type and severity of symptoms that people with ASD can have. Some individuals may be high functioning and independent, while others require life-long care and support. Symptoms of ASD usually appear during early childhood and affect a person’s ability to function socially, at school or work, and in other areas of life.

What is considered a “normal life”?

There is no single definition of what constitutes a “normal life.” Generally, it refers to the ability of an individual to function independently, engage socially, pursue education and employment opportunities, and find enjoyment and meaning in life. A normal life typically includes:

  • Living independently or semi-independently
  • Developing and maintaining social relationships
  • Pursuing postsecondary education or vocational training
  • Securing and maintaining employment
  • Participating in community activities
  • Engaging in recreation and leisure pursuits
  • Experiencing physical and emotional wellbeing

However, each person’s definition of a “normal life” is different depending on their individual hopes, dreams, and abilities. What may constitute a normal life for one person with ASD may look very different for another person on the spectrum.

Can children with autism live a “normal life”?

The short answer is yes, many children with ASD can and do live full, meaningful lives that could be considered “normal.” However, there are several important factors to consider:

1. Autism is a spectrum

Because autism manifests differently in each individual, generalizations are difficult. Some people with ASD, especially those considered “high-functioning,” have mild challenges and are able to live independently, maintain relationships, work, and participate in their communities. Others with more intellectual, communication, and behavior challenges may require life-long care and support.

2. Early intervention is key

Research shows that starting intensive therapy as early as possible leads to significantly improved outcomes for many children with autism. Access to speech therapy, occupational therapy, applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy, and special education services in the early childhood years lays the foundation for future progress.

3. Many people with autism continue to progress and meet milestones throughout their lives

With proper treatment and support, children on the spectrum can make remarkable progress well into adulthood. Many adults who could not speak or function independently as children are able to hold down jobs, live on their own, and contribute positively to society.

4. Life skills can be learned and improved

Even individuals with significant impairments can be taught essential life skills like communication, self-care, relationship building, and coping mechanisms. With coaching and therapy, the capacity for independent functioning can improve significantly.

5. Needs and challenges change over time

The needs of children with autism change as they go through developmental phases, school transitions, and reach adulthood. Increased or different types of therapy, accommodations, and support services may be required at different life stages to enable continued success.

6. Many external factors contribute to independence and quality of life

Outcomes for people with autism depend greatly on access to services and support systems. This includes quality medical care, educational opportunities, vocational training, assisted living facilities and programs, financial assistance, and more. Limitations in any of these areas will impact wellbeing and independence.

What might a “normal life” look like for a child with autism?

While every person’s needs are unique, here are some examples of what a “normal life” could look like for a child with ASD:

Early childhood

  • Participates in intensive ABA and speech therapy 25-40 hours per week
  • Attends a mainstream preschool with additional supports
  • Develops basic communication and social skills
  • Learns essential self-care skills like feeding, dressing, and toileting

School-age

  • Attends mainstream classes with special education services and a one-on-one aide
  • Receives modified instruction and positive behavior supports
  • Participates in social skills groups
  • Engages in integrated extracurricular activities
  • Develops academic abilities and peer relationships

Adolescence and young adulthood

  • Graduates from high school with a regular diploma
  • Attends college or vocational training program with accommodations
  • Lives semi-independently with supports as needed
  • Finds part-time or full-time employment with job coaching
  • Develops hobbies and friendships
  • Learns to use public transportation independently

Adulthood

  • Lives independently or in a supportive community
  • Works full time in a career suited to strengths and interests
  • Engages in meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community
  • Pursues interests through clubs, classes, travel, etc.
  • Co-manages autism symptoms and life skills with supports

What types of supports and services enable a “normal life”?

For individuals with ASD, accessing ongoing supports and services is key to achieving the greatest level of independence and fulfilling their potential. Types of assistance that allow someone to live a functional, engaged life include:

Early intervention services

Starting intensive therapy and autism-specific services before age 3 lays the foundation for future development. Common early interventions include applied behavior analysis (ABA), speech therapy, occupational therapy, and developmental preschools.

Special education and therapies during school years

Many children benefit from individualized education plans (IEPs), classroom aides, modified curriculum, speech/occupational therapy, social skills training, and behavior supports during their school years.

Post-secondary education and vocational programs

Young adults can continue to pursue college, vocational training, job internships, and skills development programs to prepare them for future careers and independence.

Supported/assisted living services

Group homes, halfway houses, and other supervised living facilities allow individuals who need more significant help to live in the community while getting day-to-day assistance.

In-home care and respite services

Many families utilize trained caregivers or respite workers who provide hourly or daily assistance within the person’s home environment.

Case management

Case managers help coordinate various services, monitor progress, develop treatment plans, and address changing needs over time.

Financial assistance

Government disability benefits help cover the substantial costs of therapy, treatment, medications, life care, job coaching and other autism-related services.

Transition planning

Structured transition plans help teens and young adults move successfully from school to employment or college, while teaching independent living skills.

Social skills and peer support

Making and keeping friends is achievable through social skills groups, peer mentoring, integrated activities, and other opportunities to connect.

Assistive technologies

Tools and technologies that support communication, organization, task completion, sensory issues, and other challenges allow greater self-sufficiency.

Medical care

Ongoing care from doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and other providers helps manage autism symptoms and co-occurring conditions.

What outcomes are realistic for an individual with autism?

Every person with ASD is capable of making progress and leading a fulfilling life, especially with proper support. However, outcomes fall on a very wide spectrum. Here are some realistic potentials to expect:

Potential Outcome Description
Independent living For high-functioning individuals, living fully independently is an achievable goal with preparation.
Semi-independent living Many individuals can live in their own home or apartment with drop-in help or visits from caregivers.
Supported group home living Supervised group homes allow people who need more support to still live in the community.
Competitive employment Some people with ASD can succeed in mainstream jobs, especially in fields that play to their strengths.
Supported or sheltered employment Many find fulfilling work in supportive workplaces, apprenticeships, or training programs tailored to varying needs.
Post-secondary education Whether pursuing a 4-year college or vocational program, higher education is achievable for some with appropriate accommodations.
High school completion Many students with ASD graduate with a standard high school diploma, although some opt for a certificate of completion.
Self-care and domestic abilities Most individuals can be taught self-care, household, budgeting, cooking and other essential life skills.
Community participation Engaging in leisure activities, attending events, volunteering, joining clubs, and religious worship are all possibilities.
Friendships and relationships Quality friendships and romantic relationships are attainable for many, especially those with strong social skills.

While positive outcomes are achievable, challenges with communication, executive function, behavior, intellectual disability, mental health conditions, and other hurdles may persist to some degree throughout an individual’s life.

What can parents do to support the best outcomes?

Though each person’s needs are unique, parents can help their children thrive by:

  • Starting intensive early intervention as soon as possible after diagnosis
  • Working closely with your child’s treatment team to develop an Individualized Education Program and transition plan
  • Ensuring your child has access to needed accommodations and supports in school
  • Enrolling your child in social skills classes and integrated activities
  • Teaching important life, self-care, and safety skills from a young age
  • Fostering friendships and peer connections
  • Helping your child explore interests and talents
  • Saving and planning for long-term care needs
  • Educating yourself on available adult services and legal considerations
  • Connecting with other parents for support and advice

The road is not always easy, but focusing on your child’s unique strengths and capabilities instead of limitations is empowering. With advocacy, guidance, and encouragement, children on the autism spectrum can transition successfully to adulthood and live joyful, purposeful lives.

Conclusion

Despite the challenges autism presents, many individuals can accomplish levels of independence and fulfillment their parents may not have thought possible. With the right interventions and supports, children on the spectrum can grow into teens and adults who attend school, hold jobs, maintain relationships, and participate actively in their communities. Although outcomes vary widely, a “normal life” is within reach for many people with ASD. By establishing targeted services and skill building early on, embracing your child’s unique abilities, and planning proactively for the future, parents can ensure their son or daughter has the opportunity to thrive to their greatest potential.