As a wedding guest, you want to look your best without upstaging the bride. Determining what is appropriate attire can be tricky, especially when the dress code is vague. You certainly don’t want to be underdressed, but is it possible to go too far in the other direction and be overdressed?
What does overdressed mean?
Being overdressed essentially means wearing an outfit that is more formal or flashy than the occasion calls for. For a wedding, some examples of overdressing would be:
- Wearing a full-length ballgown
- Wearing a tiara or other over-the-top hair accessory
- Wearing a lot of sparkly jewelry
- Wearing bright red lipstick
- Wearing fur or feathers
The key things to avoid are looking like you are trying to pass for the bride or attract excessive attention. You want your look to be appropriate for a guest.
When is it ok to be overdressed for a wedding?
There are a few scenarios where it may be acceptable to err on the side of being overdressed:
- The wedding has a formal or black tie dress code. In this case, formal attire like an evening gown or tuxedo would be expected.
- You have checked with the bride and she has given approval for your outfit. As long as the bride is ok with it, feel free to wear something over-the-top.
- It goes with the theme or style of the wedding. For example, if the couple is having a Great Gatsby themed Art Deco wedding, flapper dresses and other glamorous vintage styles would fit right in.
The key is sticking to the formality and style of the event. If your outfit compliments the wedding theme, you likely won’t look out of place even if you are dressed to the nines.
How to avoid being overdressed
To avoid showing up overdressed, here are some tips:
- Pay close attention to the dress code wording on the invitation. “Formal” indicates you should wear a gown or tuxedo. “Semi-formal” means a cocktail dress or dressy suit is appropriate. “Casual” means you can get away with sundresses, polos, etc.
- Take cues from the bridal party. If the bridesmaids are in short chiffon dresses, that’s a sign a sequined floor-length gown would be inappropriate for guests.
- Consider the venue. A dressy look makes more sense for a hotel ballroom than a backyard barn wedding.
- Ask the bride directly if you are unsure. Don’t just rely on your own interpretation of the dress code.
- Avoid wearing white, cream, or ivory so you don’t match the bride.
Sticking to the formality of the dress code is a safe bet. You want to look polished and put-together without looking like you are dressing for your own special event.
What to wear for common dress code scenarios
Here are some examples of appropriate outfits for different wedding dress codes:
| Dress Code | Recommended Outfits for Women | Recommended Outfits for Men |
|---|---|---|
| Black Tie/Formal | Long evening gown, formal dress, dressy jumpsuit | Tuxedo, dark suit with tie |
| Semi-Formal | Cocktail dress, dressy skirt and blouse | Suit with tie, dress trousers with jacket and tie |
| Casual | Sundress, pantsuit, skirt and nice top | Dress pants or chinos with collared shirt, polo shirt |
| Beach Formal | Cocktail dress or sundress with wedge heels or nice sandals | Dress trousers or chinos with shirt but no tie or jacket |
Having examples spelled out takes the guesswork out of wedding guest attire. Use the dress code and venue as your guide and then select an appropriate outfit from there.
What if you show up overdressed?
What should you do if you show up to find you are overdressed compared to most other guests? Here are some tips for making the best of the situation gracefully:
- Don’t draw excessive attention to yourself or preen. Quietly take your seat and enjoy the event.
- Use a wrap or shawl to cover elaborate dresses or jewelry during the ceremony.
- If possible, remove or tone down flashy accessories for the reception.
- Don’t complain or gossip to other guests about being overdressed.
- Have fun and don’t let your outfit stop you from dancing, eating, and enjoying yourself.
Chances are that the bride and other guests are focused on having a good time and celebrating the couple, not judging your outfit choice. With the right attitude, you can still have fun even if you didn’t quite nail the dress code.
Conclusion
Being overdressed for a wedding is something you generally want to avoid. Pay close attention to the dress code wording and formality when choosing an outfit. If in doubt, err on the side of slightly underdressing rather than going overboard with an overly formal or flashy look. Stick to the guidelines and cues from the couple, and you will look and feel great at the wedding. But if despite your best efforts you do end up overdressed, maintain a positive attitude and enjoy the celebration. With grace and confidence, you can look fabulous regardless of what you wear.