The Bible does not explicitly prohibit kissing before marriage. However, it does lay out principles regarding sexual purity and honorable conduct that Christians are called to follow. There are differing viewpoints among Christians on what is appropriate physical intimacy in a dating relationship prior to marriage.
What does the Bible say about premarital kissing?
The Bible does not directly address kissing before marriage. Biblical principles regarding sexual purity would imply that passions should be kept under control until marriage (1 Corinthians 7:9, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). Christians who believe kissing should be reserved for marriage view it as a form of foreplay that could lead to sexual temptation.
Those who believe premarital kissing is acceptable within biblical principles often make a distinction between light kissing and prolonged, passionate kissing. They view light kisses as a normal expression of affection in a dating relationship, while viewing French kissing or heavy make-out sessions as crossing the line into sexual foreplay that should wait for marriage.
Biblical principles related to premarital intimacy
While the Bible does not explicitly prohibit premarital kissing, it provides guiding principles that Christians seek to apply to their dating relationships:
- Avoid sexual immorality and flee from temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
- Exercise self-control over passions and desires (Galatians 5:23, 1 Corinthians 9:27)
- Treat others with purity, honor and respect (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)
- Avoid actions that could cause a brother or sister to stumble (Romans 14:13-21)
Based on such principles, many Christians seek to set physical boundaries in dating relationships that will help them and their partner maintain sexual purity until marriage.
Different viewpoints on premarital kissing
There are three main viewpoints that Christians hold on premarital kissing:
Kissing should be avoided
Some Christians believe any form of kissing before marriage crosses a line into dangerous physical intimacy. They view kissing as a form of foreplay that triggers sexual desires meant only for marriage. Those holding this view encourage couples to focus on non-physical ways of showing affection and building emotional intimacy in dating relationships.
Light kissing is acceptable
Many Christians are comfortable with light kissing such as a brief kiss goodnight or quick kiss on the lips during a date. They view light kisses as a wholesome way of showing affection appropriate for dating couples. However, they still draw a line at passionate kissing which they see as sensual foreplay.
It’s a matter of conscience
Some Christians believe a couple’s conscience should determine what’s appropriate physical intimacy. They emphasize making prayerful decisions based on biblical principles, being sensitive to a partner’s conscience, and setting mutually agreed on boundaries. They are less likely to make categorical rules on things like kissing.
Practical considerations around premarital kissing
Christians seeking to apply biblical principles to premarital intimacy weigh various practical considerations:
- Is kissing stirring up sexual passion that could lead to temptation?
- Does kissing show care and respect for my partner’s conscience and values?
- Are we able to keep kissing from going too far into sensual territory?
- Does kissing distract from building emotional intimacy and spiritual oneness?
- Could our kissing cause a weaker brother or sister to stumble?
Such considerations lead many Christian couples to prayerfully set boundaries allowing light romantic kisses but avoiding French kissing or prolonged make-out sessions before marriage.
The importance of communication and self-control
Christian dating couples who allow some form of premarital kissing emphasize the importance of open communication and mutual accountability. Each person must take responsibility for self-control over their own desires and passions. If kissing leads to losing control of passions, the physical intimacy should be dialed back and reevaluated.
Couples wishing to honor Christ need sound wisdom and loving accountability from Christian community as they seek to apply scriptural principles of purity and holiness to their dating relationships.
Biblical example of premarital kissing
The Bible recounts a premarital kiss between Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29:11:
“Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.”
This appears to be a light kiss of greeting between a future husband and wife. Some see this as biblical evidence that light kisses may be appropriate in dating relationships headed toward marriage.
Conclusion
There is room for debate among Christians on what behavior glorifies God in premarital dating relationships. The Bible does not prohibit premarital kissing outright. However, biblical principles call for practicing purity, fleeing sexual temptation, respecting a partner’s conscience, and avoiding actions that may cause spiritual harm to self or others. Christians who prayerfully set boundaries around physical intimacy can honor God and one another even in areas of ambiguity and disagreement.
Viewpoint | Beliefs |
---|---|
Kissing should be avoided | Any form of kissing is sensual foreplay that should wait for marriage |
Light kissing is acceptable | Brief kisses and pecks are wholesome but passionate kisses cross the line |
It’s a matter of conscience | Couples should prayerfully decide what’s appropriate based on principles |
Related questions
Is dating a sin?
There is no direct biblical command prohibiting dating. Most Christians view dating as acceptable and helpful in discerning a prospective marriage partner. However, believers are called to honor God by practicing sexual purity, avoiding temptations, and conducting dating relationships in a God-glorifying manner.
Can you hold hands before marriage?
Views differ among Christians. Some see hand-holding as a wholesome display of care and affection in dating. Others see it as condoning physical contact that could open the door to temptation. Couples must prayerfully consider their motives and sensibilities.
What are the boundaries in Christian dating?
While disputed, commonly suggested boundaries include avoiding sexual intimacy and prolonged passionate kissing. Many Christians also avoid situations conducive to temptation such as isolated alone time, late nights together, and overnight trips. Mutual care for the other’s purity and spiritual growth should shape the boundaries.
Is kissing a sin before marriage?
The Bible does not specifically prohibit kissing before marriage. Christians have differing views based on interpreting principles of purity and testimony. Some see all kissing as sensual foreplay to avoid, while others see light romantic kisses as acceptable but not passionate make-out sessions.
What does the Bible say about living together before marriage?
The Bible promotes abstaining from sexual relations before marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). It also teaches living in a way that avoids temptation and sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Based on such principles, most Christians advise against cohabitation before marriage.