Whether you’re moving across town or across the country, leaving a beloved pet behind can be absolutely heartbreaking. For cat owners in particular, a common question arises: Will my cat miss me when I’m gone? Cats are often seen as aloof and independent, so do they even notice when their human disappears? The short answer is yes, cats do miss their owners when separated. However, the degree to which a cat misses its owner can vary based on the cat’s personality and bond with their human.
Do cats form bonds with their owners?
Cats are perfectly capable of forming strong bonds and emotional attachments to their human caregivers. Studies have shown that, like dogs, cats release oxytocin (the “love hormone”) when interacting with their owners. The longer a cat has lived with its owner, the stronger this bond tends to be. Kittens that are handled frequently and gently from 2-7 weeks old often form the strongest attachments to their human caregivers. Adult cats may bond closely with new owners as well, especially if they receive regular positive attention and care.
Do cats recognize their owners?
Absolutely. Cats use all of their senses to recognize their owners. Their excellent sense of smell allows cats to recognize a human’s unique scent. Cats also utilize vision and auditory cues to identify their owners. Familiar sights like a person’s face, gait, and body language get stored in a cat’s long-term memory. Voices are also important identifiers. Additionally, cats strongly associate their owners with sources of food, warmth, and safety. All these factors come together to help cats recognize the important people in their lives.
Signs a cat may miss you
When separated from a beloved owner, signs of distress a cat may display include:
Searching behaviors
A cat that misses its owner will often patrol the house looking for them. This involves nervously prowling from room to room meowing. Some cats will repeatedly check spots the owner liked to hang out or will wait intently by the door for their return.
Changes in vocalization
Some cats yowl pitifully when their owner leaves. The frequency and intensity of vocalizations, as well as the types of sounds used, can indicate a cat is distressed about separation from a specific person.
Changes in activity
A cat that sleeps more or seems listless when the owner is away likely misses that person’s presence. Conversely, a cat may become more restless and energetic, with pacing and fidgeting replacing normally calm behaviors.
Not eating
A depressed cat may go on a hunger strike when its favorite person disappears. This loss of appetite stems from stress rather than physical illness in most separation cases. Make sure the cat is drinking water if not eating.
Excessive grooming
Grooming to the point of hair loss or skin damage can signal anxiety in cats. Being separated from an attachment figure triggers serious stress for some cats. Excessive licking, chewing, or scratching habits may develop as a result.
Aggression or reclusive behavior
While some cats withdraw socially when their owner leaves, others may act out. Aggression, urine marking, or destructive behaviors like knocking things over can reflect a cat’s anger and stress over abandonment.
Factors influencing how much cats miss their owner
Bond with the owner
Cats form varying degrees of attachment to their human caregivers. The more attached a cat is, the more intensely separation anxiety will occur. Kittens removed early from littermates often bond very tightly with owners. Also, cats with only one caretaker typically have a stronger attachment than cats with multiple caregivers.
Transition process
Gradual transitions help minimize separation stress for cats. Cats fare best when owners slowly increase time away, allowing the cat to adjust. Owners who suddenly disappear for extended periods cause more trauma and confusion. Moving to a new home should also be gradual when possible.
New environment
Unfamiliar surroundings compound the stress of losing an attachment figure. Cats feel most secure in environments that smell like them and contain familiar landmarks. New homes and caretakers make separation much harder. Bringing cat beds, toys, and other familiar items can help ease transition stress.
New caretakers
Quality of care from new guardians greatly impacts how much a cat will miss previous owners. Cats stressed by inadequate care will miss their old caregivers much more. Trustworthy temporary caretakers or kind adopters help minimize longing for a cat’s original home.
Cat personality
Highly social, sensitive, timid, anxious, and insecure cats have the hardest time adjusting to a beloved owner’s absence. Confident, mellow cats are less profoundly impacted. Personality and temperament significantly influence separation behaviors.
How long do cats grieve for an owner?
The duration of grieving when an owner permanently disappears varies substantially by individual. Grieving may persist weeks or months before a cat adjusts to a new normal. Some cats never fully get over the loss and remain somewhat changed. Signs of ongoing grief include:
Lingering accustomed habits
Cats may patrol former owner routes, wait by the door at old return times, or perch in favorite owner spots. These habitual behaviors reflect continued searching.
Apathy
Some grieving cats lose interest in play, interaction, or exploration, even in a stable new home. A depressed flat affect persists.
Declining health
Extreme grieving can cause lethargy, refusing food and drink, and a general failure to thrive. Some cats lose the will to get well from illness without their preferred person. Veterinary intervention is warranted if health deteriorates.
Change in sociability
Formerly outgoing cats may become timid, shy, or reclusive after losing an attachment figure. Alternatively, previously reserved cats might get clingy and exhibit needy behaviors.
Helping a cat adjust to your absence
To ease your cat’s transition when you move or take a trip, consider these tips:
Gradually increase absences
Help your cat acclimate to you being away by periodically taking short solo trips for a few weeks before moving. Slowly extending time apart prepares a cat.
Establish new routines beforehand
Cats feel reassured by predictable schedules. Institute new food, play, cleaning, and interaction routines your cat will experience after you depart.
Leave familiar scents
Rub your cat’s bedding or blankets with your worn T-shirt so your scent remains comforting. Bring those comforting items to the new home.
Provide mental stimulation
Prevent boredom and stress during absences by providing puzzle feeders, cat grass, scratching posts, shelters, and toys. Rotate novel toys to keep things interesting.
Use calming supplements
Pheromones, CBD, or nutritional supplements can help relax cats struggling with separations. Consult your veterinarian on appropriate options for your cat.
Choose patient caretakers
Whether a friend cares for your cat temporarily or you rehome your cat permanently, choose calm, caring individuals your cat knows and trusts.
Should you get another pet?
Getting a new cat to keep a remaining cat company is controversial. Some considerations include:
Littermates
Bonded littermates make ideal companions if you must rehome one cat. Separating littermates causes significant stress.
Existing cats
An additional cat may help comfort a remaining cat. But only do so if the resident cat is extremely social and tolerates other cats.
Kittens
Kittens adapt well to change but require much time and training. An adult cat is lower maintenance.
Same gender
Cats of the same sex tend to cohabitate most amicably. Neutering reduces fighting.
Slow introduction
A slow, structured introduction process allows cats to become comfortable with each other.
Multiple resources
Provideduplicate resourceslike food, water, beds, litter boxes, scratchers, and toys to minimize conflict.
Can you love a new cat too soon?
There is no set timeframe dictating when you can open your heart and home to a new cat after losing another. Let your grieving process guide you. When memories bring more fondness than pain, you may be ready to provide for a new feline companion. Here are some signs you have sufficiently mourned your cat and are ready for a new adoption:
– You’re ready to reorganize your home and pack away departed cat’s things. The prospect feels celebratory rather than painful.
– You easily recall your deceased cat’s endearing traits and feel thankful for the joy you shared rather than just sad about the loss.
– Loss comes up in conversations without immediately making you cry or shutting down.
– You observe other pets without feeling jealous or disloyal. Cuteness and playfulness bring you optimism again.
– You spontaneously imagine caring for a new cat with more eagerness than guilt or apprehension.
– You feel energized enough to fully invest in integrating a new cat rather than emotionally drained.
– Envisioning new feline adventures brings excitement instead of replacing grief with another loss.
When those indicators align, you can be confident a new cat will be met with delight rather than become just a painful reminder. Your departed cat deserves a legacy of continued future animal companionship once you heal.
Conclusion
Cats absolutely experience distress when separated from their beloved owners. The degree of longing and grief displayed depends on the cat’s unique personality and bond with their human. Gradually acclimating cats to absences can minimize separation stress. Ensuring excellent interim and permanent care also eases the transition. While cats never forget previous owners, most can form new bonds and adjust to new homes given proper introductions and time. Understanding the psychology around cat attachment can help ensure minimal trauma when unavoidable separations arise. With sensitivity to a cat’s needs, the unconditional love of these marvelous creatures continues shining, even across great distances.