For many grooms, their wedding day is one of the most important days of their life. As they prepare to marry their bride, the question often comes up – should their dad join them in getting ready? There are good arguments on both sides of this question. Ultimately, it comes down to the preferences of the groom and his dad. Here we’ll look at the key considerations around dads getting ready with the groom.
Why Dads Might Want to Get Ready with the Groom
There are several reasons why a dad might want to be part of his son’s wedding day preparations:
Bonding Time
Getting ready together provides special bonding time for a father and son. Weddings mark major life milestones, so it can be meaningful for dads to be present as their son embarks on this new chapter. Sharing this pre-ceremony time allows them to relax, offer encouragement, and create lasting memories.
Show Support
By being there as his son gets dressed and prepared, a dad demonstrates his love, care and support. This can mean a lot to the groom on such a monumental day. Dads can provide a reassuring presence amidst any wedding day jitters.
Share Wisdom
Who better to offer wisdom on marriage than one’s own father? Getting ready together allows dads to share insight and perspective on building a lasting, loving relationship. Even if just through their presence, dads can remind grooms of the most important things about marriage.
Family Tradition
For some families, it’s tradition for fathers and sons to get ready together on the wedding day. Just as mothers help brides prepare, dads join grooms in support. If it’s been done for generations, dads will want to honor and continue the meaningful ritual.
Wedding Party / Groomsmen
In some cases, the groom’s dad is included as a groomsman or otherwise involved in the wedding party. Naturally this means he would get ready with the other groomsmen and his son. Even if not in the official party, dads may still want to be part of preparations.
Why Dads May Not Get Ready with Groom
Of course there are also reasons why some dads opt not to be there while their son gets ready on his wedding day:
Bride’s Preparations
The bride’s preparations often take center stage on a wedding day. Dads may feel their presence is more traditionally needed with the bride rather than the groom. They may want to help the bride get ready or be there as a fatherly figure and source of comfort.
Let Groom Bond with Friends
Fathers may feel that getting ready is a chance for the groom to bond with his groomsmen and friends. They may want to give them space for camaraderie, jokes and support before the ceremony.
Superstition
Some dads are superstitious about seeing the bride before the wedding. If preparations are happening in the same location, they may want to avoid the bad luck of accidental pre-ceremony contact. This means staying with the bride’s party instead.
Give Groom Independence
For some dads, getting ready separately is about allowing their son his independence on his wedding day. They are happy to offer general support, but feel the groom should own the preparations and getting ready process.
Own Preparations
Like the groom, the dad has his own pre-wedding preparations to handle – whether it’s getting dressed, polishing his speech or just mentally preparing. He may need some quiet time alone to get ready in his own way.
Personal Comfort
Getting ready together may make some dads uncomfortable. They may feel like they’re intruding or in the way during the groom’s preparations with his groomsmen. Giving them privacy avoids awkwardness.
Key Considerations
When deciding if dad should join the groom in getting ready, here are some things to keep in mind:
Groom’s Preference
Most importantly, the groom should decide if he wants his dad there or not. Open communication allows the groom to share his wishes and expectations. The dad’s involvement is ultimately up to the groom.
Relationship & Closeness
Fathers and sons have varying relationships, so closeness should be factored in. Grooms who are very close to their dads may value their presence more. Those less close may prefer space.
Preparation Logistics
Practical factors like timing and location need consideration. Will the dad realistically be able to join for preparations? Is there space? Working out logistics can help determine if it’s feasible.
Wedding Party Roles
If dad is a groomsman or otherwise involved in the wedding party, his participation in getting ready makes more sense. But those with no official role may feel unsure about being there.
Tradition & Expectations
What are the family’s wedding and groom preparation traditions? Deciding whether to uphold them can help determine the dad’s role. Communication manages expectations.
Personality & Comfort Level
An outgoing dad may love being part of a lively groom’s party. A quieter dad may prefer reading alone to prepare. Personality and comfort help guide appropriate involvement.
Making It Work
If the groom decides he wants his dad present as he gets ready, there are ways to make it work smoothly for everyone:
Define the Dad’s Role
Giving the dad a clear purpose, like assisting with the tuxedo or providing moral support, gives him direction and makes him feel valued.
Communicate Expectations
Discussing expectations avoids misunderstandings about things like arrival/departure times, photos, what dad should wear, etc.
Plan Ahead
Advance planning around timing, transportation and other logistics helps the day go smoothly and reduces stress.
Respect Privacy
The groom may appreciate some privacy like when changing or having private conversations with groomsmen. Dad shouldn’t take offense.
Coordinate with Bride’s Side
If dad is splitting time between bride and groom preparations, ensure good coordination and communication.
Honor Traditions
Perform any special father-son wedding day rituals that are meaningful for your family. Cherish this bonding time.
Let Dad Opt Out of Any Activity
Not everyone is comfortable with wedding photos, rowdy antics with groomsmen, etc. Respect dad’s preferences.
Thank Dad for His Presence & Support
Showing appreciation means a lot and ensures dad feels valued. His presence alone conveys his love.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, the most important thing is open communication between the groom and his dad. Getting ready together can provide meaningful bonding and support – if that’s what both want. Regardless of his getting ready role, a dad’s presence and love for his son shines through on the wedding day. His support, however expressed, will mean the world to the groom as he embarks on this major life transition.