Amish parents have a reputation for being very strict when it comes to disciplining their children. The Amish emphasize obedience, responsibility, and community, so their child-rearing practices reflect those values.
Why is discipline important in Amish society?
Discipline is extremely important in Amish society for several reasons:
- To uphold their religious values and way of life – The Amish want to pass on their traditional beliefs and way of life to the next generation. Strict discipline helps achieve that goal.
- To maintain order and cohesion in their communities – Amish communities function best when members conform to norms. Discipline encourages conformity and order.
- To prepare children for Amish roles – Children are expected to take on adult roles and responsibilities at a young age. Discipline teaches them to obey elders and authority figures.
- To avoid negative outside influences – The Amish want to protect children from outside ideas and technologies that could undermine their culture. Discipline discourages exposure to those harmful influences.
Overall, Amish discipline ensures children learn to submit their own desires to benefit the larger community. It is a form of training to uphold Amish traditions and isolate themselves from modern society.
What disciplinary methods do Amish parents use?
Amish parents utilize several child disciplinary methods:
1. Corporal punishment
Corporal punishment is commonly used by Amish parents. This involves:
- Spanking with a switch or paddle
- Slapping/hitting with a hand
- Making children hold painful positions like squatting for long periods
Corporal punishment starts at around 18 months of age and continues into the teen years. It is seen as an effective way to quickly stop undesirable behaviors. Public scolding is also used to shame children into correct behavior.
2. Restricting activities
Amish children are expected to have household and farming chores. Parents restrict children from enjoyable activities if they misbehave. For example, a disobedient child may not be allowed to have play time, help with barn raisings, or attend singings. Restricting social activities teaches the consequences of bad behavior.
3. Withdrawing affection
Amish parents show tough love by withdrawing affection and giving the silent treatment when children misbehave. Children crave the love and warmth of their parents, so losing it motivates them to change their behavior and obey rules.
4. Asserting absolute parental authority
Amish culture is patriarchal, so fathers in particular assert their authority over children. Youth are expected to accept parental authority without questioning. This discourages independence and critical thinking in children but promotes order.
Are there concerns about potential abuse?
Some observers argue that traditional Amish disciplinary practices verge on abuse:
- Children are hit quite hard with paddles or switches as young as 18 months old.
- Public scolding can cause psychological harm due to intense shaming.
- Withdrawing warmth from a child refusing to repent may be emotionally damaging.
- Absolute parental authority disregards children’s individuality and rights.
- Extreme physical labor tasks might be given as punishments.
However, the Amish don’t see it as abuse since it serves the purpose of preserving their way of life for generations. Community norms see these disciplinary methods as loving correction, not abuse. But ex-Amish have claimed the discipline was abusive and a reason for leaving.
How do Amish beliefs shape their approach to discipline?
Several key Amish beliefs influence their stern disciplinary methods:
1. Emphasis on obedience and submission
The Amish highly value obedience and submission to authority. Children are taught to obey parents, elders, and the church without question. Discipline aims to break self-will and teaches obedience.
2. Separation from the world
The Amish want separation from the sinfulness of mainstream society. Harsh discipline discourages exposure to outside influences that could weaken their culture.
3. Emphasis on community cohesion
Conformity and tradition preserve Amish society. Discipline serves to uphold those communal norms so individual desires don’t undermine group cohesion.
4. Belief in human depravity
Amish theology teaches that man is inherently sinful. Discipline aims to curb children’s natural drives and mold them into moral adults according to Amish standards.
5. Avoiding mollycoddling children
The Amish avoid overly nurturing or “mollycoddling” children which could lead to pride and arrogance. Discipline keeps children humble and submissive to maintain Amish culture.
How do Amish disciplinary practices differ from mainstream American parenting?
There are some stark contrasts between Amish discipline and mainstream American parenting today:
| Amish Discipline | Mainstream American Parenting |
|---|---|
| Strict obedience expected | Independence encouraged |
| Corporal punishment used | Corporal punishment discouraged |
| No open questioning of authority | Critical thinking skills developed |
| Strong community cohesion reinforced | Individualism respected |
| Child’s sinful nature restrained | Child’s self-esteem built up |
| Conformity and tradition valued | Uniqueness and self-expression valued |
These different approaches reflect the contrasting worldviews of Amish and mainstream American culture. The Amish prioritize community, tradition, humility, and separation from the world, while mainstream parenting places greater value on individuality, uniqueness, self-esteem and critical thinking.
How successful are Amish disciplinary practices?
Amish discipline has been largely successful in:
- Preserving Amish religious beliefs, way of life, and separateness from the modern world for over 300 years in the U.S.
- Maintaining low crime, divorce, and deviance rates in Amish communities compared to surrounding society.
- Fostering conformity to Amish norms and developing obedient, hard-working, and responsible youth.
- Keeping retention rates of Amish youth relatively high despite exposure to outside society. Approximately 80-90% join the church as adults.
However, critics contend that Amish discipline also has downsides:
- Suppressing independent thinking skills and confident self-identity in children.
- Leading to emotional and psychological issues due to its authoritarian nature.
- Driving some youth to rebel and leave the Amish altogether.
So while it achieves its primary purpose, Amish discipline has tradeoffs like any child-rearing approach. The degree of its “success” depends on one’s cultural perspective.
Conclusion
In conclusion, discipline is extremely strict in Amish families. Methods like corporal punishment, restricted activities, withdrawing warmth, and asserting absolute parental authority help achieve important Amish goals. Discipline teaches obedience, conformity, and separation from the world to maintain their traditional community. While some criticize Amish discipline as abusive, the Amish see it as biblically-based and necessary to preserve their way of life. Their methods sharply contrast with mainstream American parenting today which values independence and self-esteem. Though harsh by English standards, Amish discipline has largely been successful in perpetuating Amish identity and culture over generations. However, some psychological impacts and tradeoffs come with their authoritarian approach. Ultimately, assessing the merits of Amish disciplinary practices depends on one’s own cultural worldview and priorities.