Deciding where to spread a loved one’s ashes is a very personal decision that requires careful thought and consideration. There are many factors to weigh when choosing a final resting place that will honor the deceased person’s life.
Can you spread ashes anywhere?
No, there are some legal restrictions on where and how ashes can be scattered. It’s important to check local laws and regulations before making plans.
In the United States, federal law prohibits dropping ashes from planes. Many states also have laws prohibiting scattering ashes on public lands without permission. Private properties have their own rules as well.
What are some popular locations to spread ashes?
Here are some of the most popular places people choose to spread ashes:
- Oceans and other bodies of water
- Mountains, forests, and favorite hiking trails
- Parks and gardens
- Scattering under a special tree
- Over a sports field or golf course
- Cemeteries and columbariums
Ashes can also be kept at home or divided among family members. Some people choose to incorporate ashes into objects like jewelry or artwork.
What should you consider when deciding where to spread ashes?
Some important things to consider include:
- The wishes and preferences of the deceased
- Whether the location holds symbolic meaning or significance
- If the location can be accessed easily by loved ones
- The laws and regulations for the location
- If permits or permission need to be obtained
- The number of people attending the scattering
- Environmental factors like wind and tides
What were the deceased’s wishes?
First and foremost, think about any wishes the deceased expressed about where they wanted their ashes spread. This can be communicated in their will, advance funeral plans, or verbally to loved ones. Honoring these wishes is usually considered the top priority.
Does the location have personal meaning?
Places with significance to the deceased’s life often make meaningful final resting spots. This could be somewhere they loved to visit, held fond memories, or felt a spiritual connection to. Some examples include:
- A favorite vacation spot
- Where they got married or proposed
- A childhood home or hometown
- A meaningful place of worship
- Near other deceased loved ones
Is the location accessible?
Will family and friends be able to conveniently visit the spot where ashes are spread? This may be especially important if it is seen as a place to mourn, reflect, and remember the deceased.
Remote or hard-to-access places may offer personal meaning but limit the ability to return. Public places or cemeteries offer easier access.
What are the laws for the location?
It’s crucial to determine if scattering ashes is permitted in your chosen location and what rules apply. Relevant local, state, federal, and international laws must be followed.
Some key things to research:
- If ashes can be scattered on public or private land
- If scattering ashes on waterways is allowed
- Distance required from shorelines and roads
- If a permit, license, or other authorization is needed
- Any restrictions on how ashes are scattered (by air, from vessels, etc.)
National Park Rules
In the U.S., special permits are required to scatter ashes on land in national parks. Ashes may be scattered without a permit into water within national parks at least 600 feet from shore, boats, or swimming areas.
United States Water Rules
| Location | Rules |
|---|---|
| Coastal waters | Cremated remains must be scattered at least 500 yards from shore |
| Inland waters | Check state laws, which vary. Some states require spreading ashes at least 100-500 feet from shore. |
| Scattering from boats | Boats must be going at least 4 knots (about 5 mph) to properly disperse ashes into the water |
Are permits or permission required?
Apart from abiding by general laws, some locations require obtaining specific permits or permission before scattering remains there. This is common for national parks, cemeteries, churches, private properties, etc.
If spreading ashes internationally, look into that country’s specific documentation requirements. Obtain any required documents well in advance.
How many people are attending?
The number of family and friends partaking in the scattering affects how much space is needed and whether the location can accommodate a group. Larger gatherings may prefer more open, expansive sites.
If traveling is required, also consider transportation options and lodging availability.
What are the environmental factors?
Weather and environmental conditions should be assessed when picking a scattering spot.
- Wind: Choose a calm day with minimal wind if spreading ashes over water or any large open area. Wind can blow ashes back onto attendees.
- Tides: Check tide tables if scattering into the ocean. Time the scattering when tides are going out to sea.
- Currents: Consider river currents and how quickly ashes will move away.
- Sunrise/sunset: Many people prefer scattering at sunrise or sunset for symbolic meaning.
- Season/time of year: Favorite places may be inaccessible certain times of the year due to weather conditions.
What is the process for scattering?
The actual scattering process is relatively simple. The ashes are poured or scattered by hand over the chosen area. Many families find rituals or readings bring meaning to the scattering.
Some common practices:
- A moment of silence
- Saying prayers
- Sharing memories or stories
- Reading poems or spiritual passages
- Singing meaningful songs
- Toasting the deceased
- Placing flowers
- Letting balloons go
What are some scattering ideas to honor a loved one?
Here are just some of the many unique ways to respectfully scatter ashes that reflect a loved one’s spirit:
- Under a planting tree or in a garden to symbolize life and rebirth
- At a beautiful vista overlooking mountains, lakes, or other scenery the deceased enjoyed
- On a ride at Disneyland or another favorite amusement park
- In multiple small portions to keep some ashes and share with family
- In a glass sculpture such as a paperweight or pendant
- In fireworks at a celebration of life
- During a montage or slideshow at a memorial service
- At a dance party with their favorite music
Conclusion
Choosing where to spread the ashes of a loved one is a highly personal decision that takes thoughtfulness and care. Most importantly, the location should align with the deceased’s final wishes and have deep significance. Anyone making arrangements should thoroughly research applicable laws, obtain necessary permissions, and find a meaningful way to honor the life lost.
While a farewell ritual brings closure, the memories of those we love live on in our hearts forever.