Flirting with your crush can be nerve-wracking, but it’s an important step in moving a friendship or acquaintanceship to the next level. Physical flirting involves using body language and touch to express your interest in someone romantically. When done respectfully, it can help create a playful, electric dynamic between you and your crush.
Why is physical flirting important?
Physical flirting serves several purposes when trying to connect with your crush:
- It breaks the “touch barrier” and gets you comfortable being in close physical proximity with them.
- It allows you to gauge if they are receptive to your advances through their body language.
- It creates a playful, sexually-charged energy between you.
- It shows you are confident enough to express your interest directly.
Without introducing this physical component, you run the risk of getting stuck in the friend zone or being seen as strictly platonic. Light, intentional touching builds sexual tension and chemistry. It also communicates desire in a way that words alone cannot.
How to Touch Your Crush
When getting physical with your crush, moderation and respect are key. Here are some ways to introduce touching that are appropriate:
Start Small
Don’t dive right into groping or overtly sexual touching. Start with subtle contact like:
- Briefly touching their arm or back when you say hello/goodbye.
- Sitting close so your arms and legs are touching.
- Playfully bumping them with your shoulder or nudging their arm.
- Lightly brushing their leg with yours while sitting beside them.
- Touching their hand or arm briefly when emphasizing a point.
Pay attention to whether they pull away from or seem uncomfortable with these brief touches. If so, avoid initiating contact again. If they reciprocate or appear receptive, steadily build up the duration and intimacy.
Create Opportunities for Contact
Get creative about scenarios that allow for physical closeness, like:
- Sitting side-by-side or with your legs intertwined while watching a movie.
- Hugging hello/goodbye and letting go slowly.
- Dancing together at a party or club.
- Play fighting or tickling.
- Offering a foot or shoulder massage when they seem tired or tense.
- Putting your hand on their lower back to guide them through a crowd.
The more opportunities you manufacture to initiate positive touch, the more normal and expected it will become between you.
Compliment Their Appearance
Verbal compliments also help break the physical barrier. If appropriate, work in tasteful comments about:
- Their hairstyle or outfit looking nice.
- Their smile lighting up the room.
- Noticing new muscles and definition if they’ve been working out.
- How beautiful or handsome they look.
Pair these flattering remarks with an arm squeeze or shoulder touch to drive the intimacy home.
Body Language Signals to Watch For
Your crush’s body language will offer clues about whether your flirting is welcome. Signs they may share your attraction include:
- Holding eye contact – They seek out eye contact and hold it intently when interacting with you. This signals interest and desire.
- Mirroring – They subconsciously copy your gestures, posture, and mannerisms. This shows rapport.
- Preening – They play with their hair and clothes more in your presence to look their best for you.
- Proximity – They find excuses to sit or stand closer to you than normal interactions call for.
- Open body language – They face you directly with arms/legs uncrossed.
- Flushed face – Blushing in your presence can betray attraction.
- Pupil dilation – Enlarged pupils when looking at you indicate arousal.
On the other hand, signs they may not welcome your advances include:
- Leaning away when you initiate touch.
- Avoiding eye contact.
- Turning their body away from you.
- Crossing their arms and legs when you’re near.
- Pulling back when you lean in closer.
Pick up on these cues so you avoid making your crush uncomfortable with unwanted physical contact.
How to Flirt Physically for Guys
For men interested in flirting more physically, focus on the following:
Lead with Confidence
Don’t be timid about showing interest through your body language. Stand tall, initiate eye contact, lean in when talking, and take up space to display confidence.
Break the Touch Barrier
Look for appropriate excuses to establish physical contact like those described above. This builds comfort with touch.
Whisper in Her Ear
Getting in close to be heard in a loud bar or party allows intimacy. Avoid being too handsy in these situations.
Try a Dance Floor Connection
Dancing allows you to gauge chemistry through physical escalation. Start with tasteful touches and see how she responds.
Give Compliments
Women appreciate a man who notices details about their appearance. Offer sincere praise about her eyes, smile, dress, etc.
Make Eye Contact
Locking eyes across the room signals attraction. Holding eye contact in conversation shows confidence.
Read Her Cues
If she seems reticent about physical escalation, step back and let her be the one to initiate contact next time.
How to Flirt Physically for Women
For women looking to get a bit more hands-on, consider these tips:
Touch His Arm
Lightly squeezing or rubbing his bicep gives a tactile compliment while feeling his muscles.
Play with Your Hair
Twirling your hair and exposing your neck makes you appear open and interested.
Initiate a Slow Dance
Guide him to the dance floor for a body-to-body slow song when the mood feels right.
Hold Eye Contact
Lock eyes with him from across the room, then smile to create a flirty tension.
Whisper Compliments
Leaning in close to praise his strength, smile, outfit gives him sexy shivers.
Squeeze His Knee
If sitting side-by-side, a gentle knee squeeze shows your attraction.
Stroke His Arm
While engaged in conversation, lightly trace your fingers along his forearm to give goosebumps.
Snuggle Up
Sit extra close so your thighs press together or lay a hand on his chest when the time is right.
How to Tell if You Should Make a Move
Before escalating to more overtly sexual touching, pay attention to these signs your crush may welcome a kiss or similar advancement:
- They frequently gaze at your lips when you’re speaking.
- They lick their lips or bite their lip around you.
- They maintain close physical proximity to you.
- They touch your face tenderly.
- They break silences with flirty compliments.
- They put their face very close to yours.
- They hold eye contact for several seconds without speaking.
Of course, the golden rule is when in doubt, ask for consent. A simple “Can I kiss you?” when the moment feels right never hurts.
How to Touch Your Crush Respectfully
While physical flirting is important, it should always be done with care and respect. Keep these guidelines in mind:
- Start slow with brief, casual contact and give them time to pull away if they prefer less touching.
- Pay attention to any hesitancy or discomfort they display to your touch and stop if you notice those signs.
- Don’t touch sexually-charged areas like their thighs, breasts or groin unless you have clear permission.
- Err on the side of being too formal versus too handsy upon first meeting them.
- Don’t force hugs or other contact if they demur.
- Keep your hands visible rather than sneaking up on them to avoid startling them.
- Stop escalating if you feel tension or resistance rather than enthusiasm.
- Don’t touch them in ways that could be deemed inappropriate in public.
Making your crush feel safe and comfortable with your touch ensures they will be receptive to your advances. Moving too fast could scare them away, so get a green light before taking things to the next level physically.
Flirting Gestures to Try
Some flirtatious gestures you can experiment with include:
The Arm Squeeze
Gently squeeze their arm when you greet them or make a joke. Start above the elbow then progress to the bicep once they seem comfortable.
Shoulder Tap
Playfully tap their shoulder with the back of your hand when passing by or emphasizing a funny story.
Hand Hold
If sitting closely, let your pinky finger overlap and touch theirs, or place your palm face up in invitation.
Footsy
Sit cross-legged facing each other and lightly touch feet. Stroke their anklebone with your toe for an escalation.
The High Five
Offer an enthusiastic high five after sharing good news to make contact in celebration.
Hand on Back
Briefly place your hand on the center of their lower back when entering a room or navigating a crowd.
The Hair Ruffle
Playfully ruffle their hair when teasing them. Do not attempt with strangers.
How to Get Comfortable Initiating Touch
If touching doesn’t come naturally to you, try these tips to ease into it:
- Start small with casual, accidental contact and work your way up over multiple encounters.
- Practice appropriate touching behaviors with platonic friends first to build confidence.
- Give compliments as you initiate physical contact to smooth over any awkwardness.
- Alcohol can help lower inhibitions around touch but avoid overdoing it.
- Focus on pinging their reactions and body language so you don’t go too far too fast.
- Remember touching is a normal, healthy way to gauge interest and establish intimacy.
- Accept that it may feel uncomfortable at first but gets easier with practice.
Rather than obsessing about perfectly executing touching, laugh through the awkwardness. How your crush reacts and if they reciprocate reveals their interest. Go step-by-step until physical contact feels natural between you.
How to Go From Flirting to Dating
Once flirtatious touching becomes established between you and your crush, you can move things forward with an actual date invitation. Good times to ask them out include:
- After you’ve been physical flirting for awhile and can tell they welcome it.
- When you sense chemistry and electricity flowing between you.
- Following a long, engaged conversation where you really connected.
- After they compliment your appearance in a flirty way.
- When you make prolonged eye contact from across the room.
- When saying goodbye after hanging out one-on-one and wishing the night didn’t have to end.
Keep the date idea simple and casual like going for drinks, catching a movie, checking out an art exhibit, grabbing coffee or dinner. Say you want to spend more one-on-one time together to get to know them better. Their reaction will reveal if your flirting has successfully laid the foundation for dating.
Conclusion
Flirting physically with your crush is about reading their signals, moving gradually, and ensuring they feel safe and respected. With the proper judgment, it can add excitement and intimacy to a potential relationship. Subtle touches create tension and chemistry in a way words alone cannot. So don’t be afraid to get a bit hands-on and discover if the attraction is mutual. Just be attentive to their response and let their reactions guide your escalation.