Figuring out if God is preparing you for a new relationship can be tricky. Unlike getting an acceptance letter in the mail, there’s no clear sign confirming you’ve been approved to start dating again. However, through prayer, wise counsel, and paying attention to patterns in your life, you can get a sense of God’s will for relationships.
What does the Bible say about God’s will for marriage?
The Bible makes it clear that romantic relationships are part of God’s plan for most people. In Genesis 2, God says it is not good for man to be alone and creates woman to be his companion and helper. Throughout the Bible, marriage is depicted as a blessing and binding covenant between a man and woman.
However, the Bible also has warnings about who to enter romantic relationships with. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers, which is often applied to marriage. The wisdom books, like Proverbs, warn against foolish relationships with those who lack character and integrity.
Overall, the Bible encourages marriage between a man and woman of strong faith and character. When those components are in place, the Bible depicts marriage as an excellent opportunity to grow in godliness, fulfill God’s command to multiply, and create a stable family environment.
How can you discern God’s will about relationships?
When trying to decide if God is calling you into a new season of relationships, here are some questions to consider:
- Have you taken time to heal from your last relationship and identify lessons learned?
- Do you have peace and contentment as a single person?
- Are the people you are interested in pursuing Christians who share your faith and values?
- Does spending time with them encourage you in your walk with God?
- Do they exhibit the fruit of the spirit – love, patience, kindness, etc.?
- Does the thought of marriage to them spark joy and excitement?
- Have your family and friends affirmed your relationship as a positive thing?
- Have you prayed through this relationship and sought godly counsel about it?
If you can answer yes to most or all of these questions, it’s likely God is blessing the relationship. But if several red flags are popping up, it may be best to pause the dating relationship and seek some outside perspective. Dating should be a fun way to discern marriage potential, not a tumultuous emotional roller coaster.
What are some signs God is calling you into a season of singleness?
Just because you desire a relationship doesn’t automatically mean it’s the right season for one. Here are some indicators God may be calling you to a period of singleness instead:
- You recently got out of a bad relationship and need time for self-reflection.
- You are going through a significant life transition like a job change or return to school.
- You tend to look for others to meet needs only God can fulfill.
- You struggle with comparison when you see friends entering relationships.
- You find yourself compromising standards or boundaries to keep a relationship.
- Your schedule is overbooked, leaving little margin for dating.
During seasons like this, it’s wise to pour your energy into personal growth and deepening your connection with God. Enjoy being free to follow His lead for your life without needing to accommodate a partner’s needs or schedule. Seek affirmation in your identity as His beloved child.
How can you prepare your heart for a Godly relationship?
If you sense God is calling you into a season of dating and relationships, here are some ways to prepare your heart:
- Pray about areas He wants you to grow in first as an individual. Maybe you need to work through insecurity or learn how to set boundaries around your time and activities.
- Seek counsel from married friends or mentors whose relationships you admire. Ask what advice they would give their single self.
- Consider the type of person who would make a good partner aligned with your faith, values and life vision. Ask God to reveal any unconscious checklists you need to refine.
- Release expectations about things happening in your preferred timing. Trust that God knows what you need to learn first before saying “I do.”
- Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Don’t neglect self-care and pouring into other areas of life like friendships, hobbies and career.
Preparing your heart is just as important as preparing your practical life for marriage. Be patient with God’s timing and instruction. He knows exactly where you’re headed!
What are practical signs God is preparing you for marriage?
Along with spiritual markers, there are practical signs God may be getting you ready for marriage:
- Stable income and career – While finances should not be the driving factor in marriage readiness, some level of stability is wise. Can you financially support yourself and contribute to providing for a family?
- Housing and transportation – Do you have reliable independent means of housing and transportation? That communicates maturity and that you won’t be dependent upon a spouse.
- Household skills – Have you had to keep up your own household for awhile? Can you cook, do laundry, manage bills, and care for your living space?
- Social life – Is your social scene conducive to couple activities or mainly single friends and lots of parties? Shifting to more young married friend groups can be a sign.
- Extended family – Have you introduced an interest to your family? Do they approve of the person as a potential match for you and treat them warmly?
While you don’t need to have every aspect of life perfected, demonstrating responsibility in areas like these reflects readiness for sharing life with a spouse.
How can you build spiritual intimacy before marriage?
One mistake couples often make is focusing solely on physical chemistry without nurturing spiritual intimacy. Some ways to prioritize a shared faith life include:
- Praying together about major decisions and areas of need
- Reading the Bible together and discussing takeaways
- Serving together at church or a nonprofit
- Attending small group, classes or counseling to grow together
- Having open conversations about spiritual expectations for marriage
- Talking through important faith topics like approaches to child-raising, finances and ministry
A relationship rooted in open spiritual intimacy has a solid foundation. Make it a priority from day one, not something you try to add later. The rest will flow much more naturally as you align first spiritually.
What if you feel lonely in waiting for God’s timing?
Seasons of singleness stretching longer than expected can definitely feel lonely. Here are some tips to manage:
- Pour into community with family, friends and small groups.
- Limit social media use if comparing yourself to married friends.
- Explore new hobbies and interests to fill your time.
- Look for opportunities to bless and invest in others through volunteering or mentoring.
- Adopt a pet if you’d like companionship at home.
- Talk to God honestly about your longing for a family and ask Him to meet you in this season.
- Look for contentment in each day knowing He has good plans for you.
While waiting can be tough, the right person and timing will be so worth it! Trust God’s perfect plan.
Conclusion
Discerning if God is calling you into a season of dating requires prayerful reflection. Evaluate your spiritual maturity, life circumstances, and motivations for relationships. Listen to wise counsel from mentors and be honest with yourself about areas for growth. Seek genuine connection rather than simply trying to fill loneliness. Most of all, trust in God’s sovereignty. He knows exactly what you need on the journey to finding a romantic partner for life! If marriage is meant to be, doors will open at the right time.