Having a crush can be an exciting but also confusing experience. You may find yourself constantly looking for signs that your crush likes you back. But what if they seem to be hiding their feelings? Determining if someone has a secret crush on you can be tricky, but there are some subtle signs to look out for. In this article, we will explore how to tell if your crush likes you but is concealing it.
Does your crush act nervous around you?
One of the most common signs of a secret crush is nervousness. If your crush suddenly gets fidgety, stumbles over their words, or blushes when talking to you, it could mean they have feelings for you. Crushes often feel self-conscious around the person they like, which can make them act awkwardly.
Pay attention to cues like shaky hands, stuttering, blushing, sweating, or avoiding eye contact. These all suggest your crush has the jitters when you are near. They may be worried about saying or doing the wrong thing to impress you. Their nervousness reflects how much they like you.
Example
Your crush Mike has seemed perfectly confident around his other friends. But when you joined the group for pizza last week, he became a bumbling mess. He spilled his drink twice and seemed flustered trying to talk to you. This change in behavior when you are around indicates Mike feels differently about you than his pals. His nervousness gives away that he has a secret crush.
Do they get flustered if you compliment or touch them?
Complimenting your crush or giving light touches on the arm/shoulder also reveals their true feelings. If your crush reacts strongly to the extra attention from you, it signifies they like you but don’t want to show it. Pay attention to whether they stumble over their words, freeze up, fidget, blush, or seem excited by a simple compliment or touch. The more intensely they react, the stronger their hidden crush may be.
Example
You tell your crush Riley “that color looks beautiful on you” and lightly touch her shoulder. She freezes up, her cheeks flush red, and she giggles nervously. This reaction suggests she has been hoping for your attention but is afraid to openly show her feelings. Your compliments make her excited and flustered because she secretly likes you back.
Do they ask mutual friends about you?
If your crush starts casually pumping your mutual friends for information about you, it means they are interested but want to keep it under wraps. They may ask questions like:
– What kinds of things does he/she like?
– Has he/she mentioned me recently?
– Is he/she dating anyone right now?
This “recon work” is a sneaky way for them to find out if you like them back without revealing their own feelings. If your mutual friends mention your crush asking about you, it’s a dead giveaway of their hidden crush.
Example
Your friend James reveals that your crush Mia has been asking him tons of questions about you. She asked if you ever talk about her and what you look for in a partner. She likely wouldn’t care this much about your dating habits and interests if she didn’t have a secret crush. Her attempt to get info from James shows she is interested in you but keeping it under wraps.
Do they make an effort to be around you?
Someone harboring a secret crush will find excuses to be around you as much as possible. Notice if they start showing up to places you frequent or events you are attending. For example, maybe they join the same club or study group as you. Or they linger in your areas of the school/work building during breaks.
If your crush suddenly becomes omnipresent in your life, they are likely trying to spend more time with you without admitting their feelings. Their unexplained desire to be near you constantly gives away their hidden crush.
Example
There’s a coffee shop you visit daily after class. You recently noticed your crush Maya also hanging out there every afternoon. She once mentioned not being a coffee drinker, so her newfound love of coffee shops seems suspicious. She also started showing up at your gym, even though she said she rarely works out. Her repeated attempts to “run into you” reveal her secret motivation – she must have a crush and wants to be around you more.
Do they get jealous when you talk about other romantic interests?
Your crush may claim to just be a good friend, but their actions can reveal the truth. Pay attention to how they react when you mention dating other people. Do they tense up, change the subject, or make snide remarks? Obvious jealousy is a clear sign of romantic interest. Your crush may try to disguise their jealousy but subtle clues will leak out.
For example, do they insist you could “do better” than the person you are dating? Or do they suddenly have lots of critiques of anyone you crush on? Their protective jealousy gives away their possessiveness over you. They want you for themselves but don’t want to admit it openly.
Example
You tell your friend Carl about your new Tinder date with Alex. Carl immediately tenses up and says Alex seems like a “tool” and “totally wrong” for you. This strong reaction implies Carl has hidden romantic feelings. He is jealous of you dating others but doesn’t want to confess his true emotions.
Do they find small excuses to touch you?
Someone with a hidden crush will find subtle ways to get physically close and initiate innocent contact. Pay attention to whether they gently touch your arm when laughing at a joke or stand nearer than necessary. Do they lean in close to point out something, letting their hand linger near yours? Or do they find reasons to give you hugs, touch your hair or adjust your clothing?
These seemingly innocent touches allow them to get physically close without outright hitting on you. Each light brush of contact gets a thrill out of their hidden crush. So if your friend is oddly handsy, it likely means they are concealing deeper romantic feelings.
Example
Your friend Sara always sits right next to you on the bus, even if empty rows are available. She will casually graze her arm against yours or steady herself by grasping your shoulder when the bus turns. If you wear a new hairstyle, she may gently play with the strands and compliment how soft your hair feels. Her lingering touches reveal she secretly enjoys the physical contact because of her hidden crush.
Do they share personal details they tell few others?
Your crush confiding secrets or meaningful aspects of their life with you demonstrates special trust and affection. Sharing private emotions, fears, dreams and past experiences shows they value a deeper bond with you. While they may not confess their feelings directly, opening up in this way proves they want intimacy with you.
If your crush begins telling you private stories or feelings they don’t usually share, it likely signifies a hidden crush. This desire for emotional closeness reflects their strong feelings, even if they keep the depths of their attraction concealed.
Example
Your friend Renee tends to be very reserved and rarely discusses her personal life. But lately she has opened up to you about her family problems, insecurities and former toxic relationships. She also confided you are one of the only people who make her feel truly comfortable. This meaningful emotional intimacy demonstrates she trusts you deeply and has a hidden crush.
Do they text you frequent messages and inside jokes?
Increased communication via texting or social media private messages can also reveal a secret crush. Do they constantly send you funny memes, links, or casual “how’s your day” texts? Developing inside jokes and wanting to text regularly shows they enjoy intimate conversation with you.
Messaging you the moment they see or think of something interesting demonstrates you are frequently on their mind. They may claim to just be chatting “as friends”, but their eagerness for frequent digital communication exposes their hidden romantic motivations.
Example
Your pal Riley used to only text you about homework help or occasional weekend plans. But lately she’s been bombarding you with cute animal videos, witty observations and flirty jokes at all hours. She also gets visibly upset if you don’t respond immediately. Her sudden urge to be in constant contact, even digitally, strongly hints she has a secret crush and wants to feel closer.
Do they giggle, smile and make strong eye contact during conversations?
Flirtatious body language can also reveal hidden romantic feelings. Pay attention to whether your crush maintains strong eye contact, smiles frequently and giggles more in conversation. Things like batting eyelashes, flashing dimples and excited grins demonstrate their enjoyment of your company. Facing you directly with open body language also shows their interest and attraction.
Your crush may try to play it cool, but their flirty nonverbal behavior exposes their hidden emotions. Their giddy smiles, breezy laughter and unwavering eye contact give away their secret crush.
Example
Your friend Caleb is usually reserved around others. But when talking to you, he smiles ear to ear, makes direct eye contact and playfully teases you. He will giggle at all your jokes and seems laser focused on you, ignoring everyone else. These joyful reactions and facing you fully displays his hidden crush, even if his words sound platonic.
Do they get flustered or defensive if others assume you are a couple?
Your crush may work hard to conceal their feelings. But their reaction if others mistake you for a romantic pair can reveal the truth. Pay attention if people ask if you two are together or say you’d “make a cute couple.” Does your crush get embarrassed, overly deny it, or seem secretly pleased?
Their emotional response demonstrates how the concept of dating you truly makes them feel. If they are indifferent, they likely only see you platonically. However, becoming flustered or avoiding the topic altogether implies a hidden crush.
Example
You and your friend Danielle get mistaken for a couple at a restaurant. You laugh it off, but Danielle blushes intensely, avoids eye contact and mumbles you’re “just friends.” Later, you notice her staring at you wistfully when she thinks you aren’t looking. This awkwardness shows she has secretly hoped you two could date but never admitted it openly.
Do they cancel or rush other plans to hang out with you?
Someone nursing a hidden crush will leap at any chance to be around you. If they suddenly begin cancelling existing plans with friends or rushing through tasks to see you, it is a revealing sign. No matter how nonchalant they act, dropping everything the moment you are available demonstrates where their true priorities lie.
Perhaps your crush was supposed to meet up with their friends but invented a quick excuse to bail. Or they claim they need to stop by the library yet suggest hanging out with you instead. The desire to be in your company overrides previous obligations, hinting at their concealed romantic motivation.
Example
Your friend Emily typically has a packed weekly schedule with her various clubs and groups. Recently when you asked if she wanted to grab food, Emily said she could skip her student council meeting because she was “too tired.” Ditching reliable commitments reveals that spending time alone with you is more valuable to her – a sign of her hidden crush.
Do they get flustered or defensive if you ask about their dating life?
Somebody harboring secret romantic feelings may avoid discussing their dating habits or relationship status. If you inquire whether they have a crush on anyone or are interested in dating, do they freeze up? Or do they get oddly cagey, trying to switch topics immediately?
Their unwillingness to talk romance and evasion of your questions suggests discomfort. Someone with platonic intentions only would have no issue openly discussing dating other people. Your crush’s refusal to address the subject indicates they don’t want their hidden emotions for you exposed.
Example
You ask your friend Andrew how his recent Tinder dates have been going. He instantly tenses up, mumbles something about being “too busy for dating”, then distracts you by offering to grab another round of drinks. His sudden defensiveness about discussing his love life implies he desires only romance with you, even if he won’t admit it directly.
Do they find excuses to seek your advice or help?
A hidden crush may invent reasons to turn to you for guidance as a ploy for attention. Do they frequently hit you up for advice about problems – both trivial and serious? Making you feel needed satisfies their craving for quality time together.
Or perhaps they ask you to help pick out gifts, teach them skills or assist running errands. These requests allow them to bond while also showing you are their first call for help. Even if other friends could assist just as easily, your crush picks you to fulfill their hidden desire for closeness.
Example
Your coworker James has been blowing up your email lately with questions. He’ll ask you to proofread important emails before he sends them or to help tweak his quarterly presentation. Recently he claimed he urgently needs your advice picking out his mom’s birthday gift. His relentless requests for assistance demonstrate he values your opinion and secretly enjoys the interactions because of his hidden crush.
Do they get cute with their appearance when they know you’ll be around?
Someone nursing secret feelings may put extra effort into their looks when anticipating seeing you. They’ll wear their best outfits, style their hair nicely and wear makeup more often if you’ll be at a mutual event or gathering. Looking their most attractive self in your presence reveals their hidden desire to impress you.
Your crush may justify their appearance upgrades as a “coincidence.” But if they consistently dress to the nines around you while letting their grooming slide around others, their true motivations are exposed. They spruce up to catch your eye and boost their confidence to interact with their crush.
Example
Your friend Valerie typically wears minimal makeup and casual clothes to class. But when you both signed up for a seminar together, she started showing up in dresses, heels, and flawless makeup. Her amped up style only on the days she sees you reveals she wants to look alluring for her hidden crush.
Do they get you meaningful or personal gifts?
Thoughtful gift-giving can also demonstrate hidden romantic intentions. Pay attention if your crush gives you presents that show sincere consideration, like your favorite treats or something that reminded them of an inside joke. These meaningful gifts express fondness and liking you as more than a friend.
On the other hand, generalized gifts like gift cards demonstrate less intimate connections. But if your crush puts love and care into presents tailored distinctly for you, it conveys their deeper secret affection.
Example
Your work friend Steven surprises you with thoughtful presents on random days, not just birthdays. He brought you a book by your favorite author and homemade cookies from your childhood bakery. These caring gifts that show he knows your interests well reveal his hidden crush.
Do they get flustered or jealous if you discuss intimate relationships?
Discussing your love life or dating experiences can make someone with hidden feelings jealous or awkward. If you tell a story about a past hookup or passionate relationship, do they change the subject or drill you for additional details? Asking prying follow-ups about your romantic or physical connections demonstrates envy.
They may justify their questions by claiming to just be “looking out for you.” But their obvious discomfort and curiosity betrays their possessiveness over you, hinting at a concealed crush.
Example
You casually tell your friend Liam about taking a fun weekend trip with a guy you just started dating. Liam tenses up and immediately asks questions about where you stayed, how you met this man and if you’ve been “safe.” His intrusiveness exposes his jealousy and possessiveness over you, hinting he has deeper hidden feelings.
Do they make excuses to get close to your friend group and family?
If your crush suddenly becomes eager to hang out with your broader social circle, they likely want to get closer to you. Do they insist on tagging along to your family events, meals with friends or parties even if they won’t know anyone else? Or do they excessively compliment your friends and family, trying extra hard to win them over?
Making an effort to integrate into your life demonstrates a strong interest in pursuing something deeper. They want intimate access to all aspects of your world to strengthen their bond, reflecting their hidden emotional investment beyond platonic friendship.
Example
Your workout buddy Erica has been asking about your roommates and friend groups. She suggests throwing a party at your shared apartment so she can meet them. Erica also said she’d love to join you on your upcoming trip home to visit parents, even though she’s never met them. Her eagerness to ingrain herself in areas of your life like family shows her secret romantic intentions.
Conclusion
Wondering if a crush is concealed can make any interactions torture. But paying attention to subtleties like flustered reactions, jealous behavior, flirty body language and increased efforts to be around you will reveal the truth. With patience and intuition, these understated clues expose if someone’s feelings for you run deeper than they are letting on. Rather than wasting energy decoding mixed signals from your crush, look for these signs that their passion is secretly brewing beneath the surface.