What are love bites?
Love bites, also known as hickeys, are small, temporary bruises on the skin caused by kissing or sucking. They are typically found on the neck, but can occur anywhere on the body. Love bites form when the tiny blood vessels under the skin are broken, letting blood leak into the surrounding tissue. This causes a reddish or purplish bruise to appear. Love bites usually last 1-2 weeks before fading away. While some consider them a sign of affection, others see love bites as embarrassing or unprofessional. Either way, there are steps you can take to avoid getting love bites or make them disappear faster if you end up with one.
How can you prevent love bites?
The most surefire way to prevent love bites is to avoid the behaviors that lead to them, namely prolonged sucking or aggressive kissing of the skin. But this isn’t always realistic in an intimate relationship. So if you want to get close without the hickeys, here are some tips:
- Ask your partner not to suck or bite your skin. Communication is key for any healthy relationship. Just tell them you don’t want marks left on your skin.
- Redirect your partner’s kisses. If they start kissing your neck passionately, gently guide them back to your lips.
- Keep the kisses soft. Light pecks rather than hard sucking are less likely to burst blood vessels.
- Cover sensitive spots. Wear scarves or collared shirts to cover the neck and shoulders if needed.
- Don’t stay still. Squirming around makes it harder for your partner to focus sucking on one spot.
- Set the mood lighting. Dim lights make it harder to see and focus on one area of skin.
- Make a pact. Agree together not to leave any marks as a mutual sign of respect.
The only foolproof way to prevent hickeys is abstaining from behaviors that cause them. But if you communicate boundaries and pay attention during intimate moments, you can greatly reduce the chances of ending up with a souvenir.
What should you do if you get a love bite?
Uh oh. You followed the prevention tips, but still ended up with a prominent hickey on your neck from date night. Don’t panic – there are still ways to get rid of it or at least make it less noticeable. Here are some remedies to try:
Cold compress
Applying something cold can help constrict broken blood vessels and reduce bleeding under the skin. Try wrapping an ice pack or bag of frozen veggies in a towel and holding it to the hickey for about 15 minutes to reduce swelling. The sooner you apply cold, the better.
Warm compress
After a day or two when the bleeding has stopped, switch to applying heat. Use a warm towel or heat pack on the hickey to help it heal faster by increasing blood circulation to the area. Apply heat a few times a day for 10-15 minutes. The warmth will help the cells regenerate and fade the bruise quicker.
OTC hemorrhoid cream
Creams made for dark under-eye circles or hemorrhoids can temporarily lighten hickeys thanks to ingredients like vitamin K that improve blood clotting. Apply a thin layer over the hickey and let it soak in 3-5 times per day. This can reduce the darkened appearance of a love bite.
Aloe vera
The soothing gel from an aloe vera plant has anti-inflammatory properties that may reduce hickey swelling. Break off a leaf and rub the gel directly onto the bruise. Massage it gently into the skin and let it absorb fully before rinsing. Apply 1-2 times per day.
Arnica salve
Look for topical salves containing arnica, a herb that improves blood flow and healing. Gently dab it onto the affected area 2-3 times per day. Arnica may minimize tenderness and bruising.
Peppermint oil
The cooling sensation of peppermint oil may have a similar effect as cold compresses when applied to hickeys. Try massaging a drop or two into the bruise to reduce pain and swelling. Reapply 2-3 times daily. Mix it with a carrier oil if you have sensitive skin.
| Remedy | How It Helps |
|---|---|
| Cold compress | Constricts broken blood vessels to stop internal bleeding |
| Warm compress | Boosts circulation to help bruise heal faster |
| Hemorrhoid cream | Vitamin K can improve blood clotting to lighten color |
| Aloe vera | Anti-inflammatory properties reduce swelling |
| Arnica salve | Increases blood flow and healing |
| Peppermint oil | Cooling effect constricts broken blood vessels |
Toothbrush massage
Gently brushing over the hickey with a soft toothbrush can help break up clots and speed healing. Do this 2-3 times per day using circular motions. Avoid scrubbing too firmly as this may irritate the skin.
Concealer
For quick cover-up, reach for some full-coverage concealer. Apply it directly over the hickey and blend the edges. Look for a shade that matches your skin tone. Green-tinted concealer can also help neutralize the redness of a fresh love bite. Set it with pressed powder for longer-lasting coverage.
Clothing choices
Certain clothing options can effectively hide a hickey for the day. Try wearing a turtle-neck sweater, scarf, collared shirt, or other garments that conceal the neck and shoulder area. If on other parts of the body, opt for clothing that covers the affected area.
Finger massage
Massaging the area with your fingers can help break up blood clots and speed healing. Apply firm pressure with your fingertips in a circular motion 2-3 times per day for about 10 minutes.
When do love bites need medical treatment?
Most love bites can be treated at home and will resolve on their own within 1-2 weeks. But in some cases, medical help may be advisable:
– The area becomes increasingly swollen, painful, warm or red, indicating infection
– Shortness of breath, dizziness, chest pain or trouble swallowing develop, which can signal a blood clot
– The hickey does not fade after 4 weeks
– Hickeys form frequently despite efforts to prevent them
– There are signs of physical abuse or non-consensual activity resulting in bruising
If any concerning symptoms accompany a hickey, consult a doctor to rule out complications like infection, clots or other injuries. Frequent hickeys may also warrant medical input to identify any underlying conditions.
How can you hide a hickey for an event?
Have a wedding or important interview coming up but don’t want your recent night of passion to show? Here are some ways to disguise a hickey if you need to cover it up quickly:
– Use a coin to scrape the skin from the center of the bruise outwards. This can help break up blood clots.
– Apply icy cold cucumber slices or cooled spoon to the hickey to reduce swelling right before the event.
– Dust makeup over the area, like green-tinted concealer to counteract the redness, then set with translucent powder.
– Wear a shirt or blouse that conceals the neck and shoulders.
– Style your hair down over the affected side.
– Secure a silk scarf around the neck.
– Apply temporary skin filler or smoothing primer to the area.
– Use a beard trimmer to gently shave over the hickey if on a man’s beard area.
– Ensure proper lighting at the event to prevent the hickey from being too prominent. Avoid direct sunlight exposure.
With some preparation, you can minimize the appearance of a love bite for a few hours on a special occasion. But avoid irritating it further right beforehand.
How do you explain a hickey to parents or employers?
Getting grilled about a conspicuous hickey is not fun, especially by disapproving parents or bosses. If you need to explain yourself, try these approaches:
– Remain calm and avoid over-explaining. Say you were being playful with your partner and don’t elaborate.
– Apologize for any offense caused, but reiterate it was a private moment between consenting adults.
– Focus the conversation on your work or academics, not your personal life. Say it won’t impact your performance.
– Note you’ve learned from the experience if relevant, and have already taken steps to remove the mark.
– Assure it was a one-off event, not something that will be regularly repeated.
– If truly accidental, explain it was not intentional and you did not mean to mark your skin.
– Suggest making a pact to be more careful with intimacy if your partner was involved.
– Accept any criticism gracefully without getting defensive. But stand firm if the questioning gets intrusive or disrespectful.
– Kindly request more privacy moving forward and offer to discuss reasonable boundaries.
With maturity, you can have an open dialogue to smooth over the situation without over-sharing or compromising your values. The key is communicating mutual understanding and respect.
Conclusion
While hickeys are generally harmless, they can be uncomfortable and raise awkward questions. Abstaining from prolonged sucking or biting of the skin is the best prevention. But if you end up with a souvenir of passion, remedies like cold compresses, OTC creams, and make-up can help minimize the mark. Most bruises fade within a couple weeks. Give it time to heal and learn for next time. With some care, love bites don’t have to kill the romance.