Telling someone they smell can be an awkward conversation to have. However, there are some effective ways to approach this sensitive topic while maintaining respect and dignity for the other person. In this article, we will explore some of the best practices for telling someone they have body odor issues.
Why Do Some People Smell More Than Others?
Body odor is a natural human phenomenon caused by sweat mixing with bacteria on our skin. Some people naturally produce more sweat and bacteria than others due to factors like:
- Genetics – Some people are just predisposed to stronger body odor.
- Diet – Spicy foods, garlic, curry, and other pungent cuisine can make sweat more odorous.
- Stress Levels – Stress causes excess sweat production which can lead to increased B.O.
- Health Conditions – Diabetes, obesity, hyperhidrosis, and other conditions can increase sweating.
- Medications – Some prescription drugs have body odor as a side effect.
- Clothing Choice – Tight, non-breathable fabrics trap sweat and bacteria.
- Lack of Hygiene – Not bathing or laundering clothes regularly causes odor.
- Puberty & Hormones – Adolescent hormonal changes often cause increased body odor.
While some people naturally have a stronger scent than others, good hygiene practices can help reduce and control body odor. However, there are times when even good hygiene is not enough, and someone’s body odor becomes disruptive or offensive to those around them.
When Is It Appropriate to Speak Up?
Most people are unaware of their own body odor. Therefore, it’s appropriate to politely inform someone if their smell is excessive enough to be disruptive in social, school, or work settings. Specifically, it’s reasonable to speak up if the person’s odor is:
- Strong enough to make others visibly uncomfortable
- Noticeable within a several foot radius
- Lingering on fabrics, furniture, or rooms after they leave
- Impacting your ability to concentrate or be productive
- Deterring others from wanting to be near or interact with them
If the smell is not offensive enough to be disrupting day-to-day activities, it may be best to overlook it. With good friends or family, it’s often appropriate to gently give feedback about mild or moderate scents in private.
Sensitive Ways to Broach the Topic
When approaching someone about body odor, it’s important to be sensitive, discreet, and offer help instead of just criticism. Some compassionate ways to open the dialogue include:
- Speak privately – Do not call out their odor publicly which could embarrass them. Have a one-on-one chat in a comfortable setting.
- Frame it as concern – Say you brought it up because you care about them and want to help.
- Give specific examples – Reference particular times their smell was strong instead of generalizing.
- Assume good intent – Presume they are unaware of the issue or need guidance managing it.
- Avoid hurtful language – Use neutral terms like scent, odor, or smell instead of “stink” or “reek”.
- Offer solutions – Provide tips for reducing odor like using deodorant, breath mints, washing clothes, seeing a doctor.
- Follow up – Check in later to see if the smell has improved and if they need any other support.
With mindful wording and a helpful attitude, an awkward chat can open the door to resolving the root of the odor issue.
What Not to Do
On the other hand, some tactics for telling someone they smell can backfire and damage relationships. Tactics to avoid include:
- Publicly pointing out odor – This can humiliate them and make things worse.
- Using insults – Avoid nasty terms like saying they “stink” or “reek”.
- Making exaggerated gestures – Holding your nose, opening windows, gagging, etc. can offend.
- Blaming their hygiene – Don’t assume they are just unclean, as health issues can cause smell too.
- Minimizing the issue – Downplaying a serious odor won’t motivate change.
- Demanding immediate results – Give them time to address the root cause.
- Gossiping to peers – Speaking privately shows respect and prevents rumors.
The goal is to thoughtfully raise the issue, not attack the person’s character over something they may be unable to control without help and guidance.
Signs Someone Needs Medical Attention
In some cases, body odor can indicate an underlying medical issue needing treatment. Recommend they see a doctor if their smell is:
- Oddly fishy, sweet, or unusual
- Strong even after bathing and changing clothes
- Accompanied by other symptoms like rapid weight loss
- Primarily concentrated in their breath or urine
- Getting progressively worse over time
These signs could point to health conditions like diabetes, liver or kidney disease, metabolic disorders, cancer, and more. Doctors can run tests and determine if there’s a treatable cause behind uncontrollable body odor.
When to Take Formal Action
If speaking to the person directly and discretely does not resolve the body odor issue, more formal action may be warranted in workplace and school settings. Steps could include:
- Allowing flexibility to work from home more temporarily
- Relocating their work station away from shared spaces
- Proposing a stronger dress code requiring clean clothes
- Restricting food/drink policies if odor tied to certain cuisine
- Signed performance reminder about following company/school hygiene policies
- Requiring documentation from a doctor that it’s not a controllable medical issue
- Offering referrals to medical treatment or company wellness programs
- With repeat issues, disciplinary action per company handbook
The goal should be working together to resolve the concern, not punishment without possibilities for improvement.
Tips for Reducing Your Own Odor
To avoid needing this awkward conversation yourself, proactively manage body odor by:
- Bathing at least once daily with soap
- Using deodorant and/or prescription strength antiperspirants
- Wearing clean clothes, changing sweaty clothes
- Choosing moisture wicking, breathable fabrics
- Washing clothing after each wear
- Cleaning shoes and athletic gear regularly to prevent bacteria buildup
- Shaving sweat prone underarm hair
- Limiting spicy foods, garlic, onions, etc.
- Staying hydrated
- Managing stress
- Treating any underlying medical conditions
Sample Conversation Script
When the time comes to speak up, use language that is direct yet thoughtful. For example:
“Hey John, do you have a minute to chat? I wanted to talk to you privately because I consider you a good friend. Lately I’ve noticed you have a noticeable body odor. It’s strong enough that others around you seem uncomfortable at times. I’m bringing this up because I care about you and want to help. It may be something simple like needing to change your clothes more or use more deodorant. Or you may need to check with a doctor to see if something else is going on. I know it’s an awkward topic, but I’m saying something because I want the best for you. Let me know if there’s any other support you need, whether it’s running to the store for deodorant or giving you a ride to the clinic.”
Conclusion
While no one wants to tell someone they smell, approaching body odor issues sensitively yet directly can greatly improve someone’s quality of life and relationships. Have the conversation privately, offer solutions, and frame it from a place of caring more than criticism. Be patient as the person takes steps to resolve the root causes behind the odor. With the right guidance and medical care if needed, almost anyone can get their body smell back to socially acceptable levels.