Friends with benefits arrangements, sometimes called “FWB” for short, refer to sexual relationships between friends who are not romantically involved. These types of casual relationships have become increasingly common, especially among younger adults. While FWB arrangements can work out well for some people, they also come with risks. A major question many people have is how long these casual relationships tend to last before ending.
Key Findings on FWB Duration
Research studies provide some insights into typical FWB duration:
- In one study of 125 young adults engaging in FWB relationships, the average length of these arrangements was 11.5 months. Only 20% lasted less than 3 months.
- In another study of 308 college students, about 58% of FWB relationships continued for more than 3 months. The average duration was 55 weeks.
- A study of 681 young adults found the median duration of FWB relationships was 4 months. Only 20% lasted beyond 1 year.
- Among older FWB couples, average relationship length was found to be 1.9 years in one study. However, duration varied widely from 2 months to 15 years.
Based on the research, we can conclude that:
- Most FWB arrangements last between 3-9 months on average.
- Around 20-25% may continue for a year or longer.
- Less than 25% tend to end within the first 3 months.
However, there is significant variability in how long these casual relationships last. Some end quickly, while others may continue for years.
Factors Affecting FWB Duration
What accounts for the variability in FWB duration? Research points to several factors that play a role:
1. Relationship Expectations
When the partners have clear expectations and boundaries, FWB arrangements tend to last longer. Poor communication about expectations often leads to shorter duration. Partners who hope the relationship may evolve into something more serious tend to end things sooner.
2. Sexual Satisfaction
Higher levels of sexual satisfaction are linked to longer FWB duration. If the sex is fun, comfortable and fulfilling for both partners, they are more inclined to maintain the arrangement.
3. Jealousy
Jealous feelings arising in one partner tend to spell doom for FWB relationships. Even mild jealousy indicates issues that lead partners to end things sooner.
4. romantic Interest
Catching feelings for a FWB partner, or having romantic hopes, also leads to shorter duration. Once romantic interest emerges, partners tend to seek a traditional relationship or end the arrangement.
5. Number of Partners
Having multiple partners, versus only one, also impacts FWB duration. Arrangements tend to end sooner when one partner has multiple casual partners rather than only one.
6. Condom Use
More consistent condom use is associated with longer FWB duration. Partners who do not use protection regularly tend to end things sooner, often due to concerns about sexually transmitted infections.
7. Substance Use
Drug and alcohol use is linked to shorter FWB duration. Partners who frequently use substances together may run into issues that cause the arrangement to end quickly.
8. Age
Younger partners tend to have shorter FWB arrangements. This may reflect their greater interest in exploring options and reluctance to settle down into longer-term relationships.
9. Relationship History
People with a history of numerous short-term relationships tend to cycle through FWB partners quickly. Those more accustomed to longevity in relationships tend to sustain FWB arrangements longer.
10. Partner Traits
Personality traits also impact duration. Partners who are open-minded, confident, and communicative tend to maintain longer FWB arrangements.
Why Friends with Benefits End
FWB relationships end for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common include:
- Developing romantic feelings
- Poor communication/unclear expectations
- One partner wants more commitment
- Jealousy arises
- Unsatisfying sex
- One partner catches feelings for someone else
- Logistical issues like moving away arise
- Boredom with the relationship sets in
Essentially, anything that results in the “friends” part or the “benefits” part no longer working can spell the demise of a FWB arrangement. However, some partners transition smoothly back to regular friendship once the sexual benefits component ends.
Making FWB Last
If you want to sustain a FWB situation longer, here are some tips:
- Clarify expectations early on
- Don’t rely on this person to meet all your sexual needs
- Avoid excessive jealousy by keeping things casual
- Manage romantic feelings carefully if they arise
- Practice open and honest communication
- Respect each other’s boundaries
- Accept that transitioning to traditional dating may end things
Most importantly, enter into a FWB arrangement for the right reasons – physical pleasure and companionship rather than love and commitment. When both partners want the same thing, these casual relationships are more likely to last.
The Bottom Line on FWB Duration
Research indicates most friends with benefits arrangements last around 3-9 months on average. A variety of factors related to expectations, satisfaction, emotions and logistics impact how long these casual relationships continue. While some FWBs end quickly, others may continue for years with the right partners and conditions. Open communication and clearly defined expectations go a long way in making FWB last longer.