The flirting stage, sometimes called the courtship stage, is an exciting and fun part of a new relationship. This is when two people begin to show romantic interest in each other through flirting, talking, and spending time together. Flirting involves sending subtle cues like smiling, laughing, teasing, and expressing interest to see if the other person reciprocates. For many couples, the flirting stage is the most thrilling and intoxicating phase of a relationship. However, it also tends to be the most ambiguous and nerve-wracking. When is flirting just friendly banter or when does it actually mean something more? And if you both like each other, how long should you stay in this flirty phase before taking the next step into dating, exclusivity, or a relationship? Here is an in-depth look at how long the flirting stage typically lasts and the signs that things are progressing into a relationship.
What is the Flirting Stage?
The flirting stage begins when two people start to show romantic interest in each other. According to relationship experts, there are some common behaviors and interactions that characterize the flirting stage:
- Increased eye contact, smiling, and laughing
- Playful teasing and banter
- Finding excuses to touch or be closer
- Asking questions to express interest and learn more about the other person
- Remembering small details about the other person
- Getting nervous or giddy around the other person
- Flattering comments about appearance or personality
- Testing the waters by mentioning the possibility of dating
These flirtatious behaviors can occur in any new situation where two available people cross paths, such as in a bar, at work, through friends, or online dating. Flirting comes naturally when there is mutual interest and chemistry.
According to psychologists, the function of flirting is to reduce uncertainty about whether the attraction is reciprocated. It also helps create romantic tension and chemistry. For people who are shy or reserved, flirting may start subtly with just extended eye contact or smiling. For those who are bold, they may jump right in with a flirty compliment or touch on the arm.
If the flirting is well-received, that encourages the two people to ramp things up and get bolder with their signals. However, if the flirtation is not reciprocated immediately, it could take more time for things to develop through repeated interactions.
How Long Does the Flirting Stage Last?
There is no set timeframe for how long the flirting stage should last before moving to dating or a relationship. Every couple has a unique trajectory, so it depends on the people and circumstances. However, experts offer this general guidance:
- Flirting may last for weeks or months if limited to occasional interactions
- If seeing each other frequently, it typically lasts 1-3 weeks
- Meeting online can shorten the flirting to a few days before meeting up
- The more time spent flirting instead of dating, the greater the risk of stalling
Some couples enjoy prolonging the thrill of the flirting stage. However, relationship experts caution against staying stuck indefinitely in flirting without progressing. Once it is clear you both like each other, avoid playing games. Make a move to ask them out on a proper date so you can take the next step.
Flirting That Lasts Weeks or Months
In some situations, the flirting stage can drag on for weeks or months:
- Coworkers may flirt back and forth at work every day before dating outside the office
- Long-time friends may finally see each other as more than friends after flirting for months
- Parties who only see each other occasionally or at group events may exchange phone numbers and flirt over text in between
- Those who are very shy or cautious may initiate conversation and flirt on and off again for weeks before officially dating
Drawn out flirting runs the risk of fizzling out or one person losing interest. But if both parties are enjoying the build-up and it eventually leads to dating, then prolonging the flirty tension can be exciting.
Flirting for 1-3 Weeks When Seeing Each Other Regularly
For two people who are actively spending time together and getting to know each other, the natural progression is to only flirt for a few weeks before dating. Signs it may be time to move forward include:
- Having fun and looking forward to seeing each other
- Flirting gets bolder with more touching, compliments, and attempts to kiss
- Talking about dating interests, past relationships, or current dating goals
- Spending time in romantic settings
- Inviting each other out instead of only ‘hanging out’
Once the mutual interest is clear, the flirting stage tends to be short-lived. Don’t let uncertainty hold you back. Take the risk and ask them out on a proper date.
Online Flirting May Only Last a Few Days
One scenario where the flirting stage may only last a few days is when meeting through online dating. For example:
- Matching on a dating app and having an engaging conversation with flirty banter
- Moving quickly to texting or talking on the phone while continuing to flirt
- Setting up a first date within a few days of matching to see if the chemistry is there in person
With online dating, people are actively looking for dates, so there is less need for prolonged flirting. If the flirty conversations are going well, either person can initiate meeting up within a week. However, there are still no hard rules. Moving at a pace both people are comfortable with is key.
Risk of Stalling in the Flirting Stage
While the flirting behaviour can be low risk at first, continuing to flirt without progressing can become problematic. Signs that things may be stalling at the flirting stage include:
- One person keeps making excuses why they cannot go out on a proper date
- The flirting starts to feel repetitive without moving to deeper conversation
- You have fun together but they avoid any “relationship talk”
- When you try to define the relationship, they say they are “still figuring things out”
- They flirt with you when you’re alone, but act differently around friends
These situations often indicate one person is still unsure or wants to keep their options open. The other person may be more invested.
To avoid wasting time and getting hurt, relationship experts emphasize having open communication about where you both see things going. If your goals are mismatched, it is better to find out sooner. Give them a little time, but don’t linger endlessly in flirtation mode.
Signs the Flirting Stage Is Progressing into a Relationship
Wondering if all the flirting is heading somewhere? Here are some positive signs that things are developing beyond the flirting stage:
Asking Each Other on Proper Dates
This is one of the clearest indicators that mutual interest exists and you want to explore it. Saying “We should hang out sometime” is more casual. Asking “Would you like to go on a date?” signals you want to move forward romantically.
Meeting Each Other’s Friends and Family
Introducing each other to the important people in your lives means you both see potential and want to integrate together. It is a step beyond one-on-one flirting.
Getting More Physically Affectionate
As comfort levels grow, affectionate touches, cuddling, and kissing become part of spending time together. Physical closeness reflects emotional intimacy.
Having The “Where Is This Going” Talk
Discussing hopes about where the flirting might lead and whether you want to date exclusively is needed. This defines the relationship so you’re both clear.
Making Time to See Each Other
When flirting turns to actively planning dates and carving out time together each week, it stops being casual. Prioritizing time together means you want the romance to develop.
Connecting on a Deeper Level
Getting more personal by sharing secrets, meaningful life experiences, and emotional needs with each other. This shows you’re connecting as more than flirtatious crushes.
Bonding Through New Experiences
Making an effort to do novel, exciting things together and creating shared memories. It strengthens the foundation beyond flirty surface-level banter.
How to Have a Healthy Flirting Stage
For the flirting stage to serve as a fun starting point for a strong relationship, consider these tips:
Communicate Your Intentions Early On
If you convey upfront that you’re interested in dating seriously, it sets the tone that flirting could lead somewhere.
Don’t Let Flirting Give You False Hope
Temper your expectations, especially at the start. Flirting doesn’t necessarily equal commitment. Look at their actions too.
Listen to Your Intuition About Pace
Go slower or faster based on what feels right. Don’t ignore red flags just to prolong flirting.
Don’t Rush Into Physical Intimacy
Take time building an emotional foundation first. Prioritize honest communication over physical flirting.
Set Boundaries If Needed
If they are stalling about progressing, be upfront about what you want to avoid mixed signals.
Enjoy the Excitement of Flirting
Have fun getting to know each other during this special time without pressuring more.
Conclusion
The flirting stage can span anywhere from a few days to a few months, depending on the situation. While there are no definite rules for when to move forward, lingering too long in flirtation without progressing risks stalling out. Once mutual interest is clear, transition from flirting to actively dating. Open communication, listening to intuition, and staying focused on emotional connection over physical flirtation will help foster a healthy start. Enjoy this thrilling time as you see if the sparks develop into something deeper!