Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme shifts in mood and energy levels. People with bipolar experience periods of mania (high energy and euphoria) alternating with periods of depression (low energy and sadness). This disorder can significantly impact relationships, including marriages.
Key Statistics
Research shows that bipolar disorder puts marriages at higher risk for divorce and separation. Some key statistics include:
- Around 90% of people with bipolar disorder experience divorce or separation at some point in their lives (1).
- Marriages where one spouse has bipolar disorder have divorce rates around 67-90% (2, 3).
- One study found divorce rates were nearly 3 times higher for bipolar marriages compared to the general population over a 10 year period (4).
- Another study found separation or divorce rates were 80% higher for those with bipolar disorder (5).
Overall, these statistics indicate bipolar marriages face substantial challenges and have a significantly higher likelihood of ending in divorce compared to the general population.
Reasons for High Divorce Rates
There are several factors that may explain the high divorce rates among marriages where one spouse has bipolar disorder:
Mood episodes
The mood episodes associated with bipolar (mania and depression) can strain relationships and marriages in many ways:
- Manic behaviors like impulsiveness, recklessness, and poor judgment can damage trust.
- Depressive periods marked by low motivation, withdrawal, and sadness can reduce emotional intimacy.
- Extreme mood swings make it hard for partners to rely on consistent support.
- Symptoms like irritability and restlessness can spark conflict during episodes.
Comorbid issues
Many people with bipolar also have other co-occurring mental health issues like (6):
- Substance abuse – around 50% have an alcohol or drug problem.
- Anxiety disorders
- ADHD
These other conditions can further strain the relationship and compound the challenges of bipolar for marriages.
Medication side effects
Medications used to treat bipolar like lithium and antipsychotics can cause side effects such as (7):
- Low libido
- Erectile dysfunction
- Fatigue
- Weight gain
These side effects may reduce intimacy and attraction between partners over time.
Communication difficulties
Bipolar episodes can make communication very difficult for marriages:
- Mania can cause partners to dominate conversations, interrupt frequently, and struggle to focus.
- Depression can make partners withdraw from conversations and disengage.
- Mood swings may leave partners feeling like they can’t rely on what the other says.
This breakdown in communication reduces trust and connection between spouses.
Financial stress
Bipolar symptoms often make it difficult to maintain stable employment. Lost income along with high medical costs can create substantial financial strain for marriages.
Role strain
When one spouse has bipolar, the other may need to take on extra responsibilities like (8):
- Handling finances
- Making medical appointments
- Taking care of children
Over time, this imbalance can build resentment and frustration between partners.
Lack of family support
Many couples report a lack of understanding and support from family members regarding bipolar disorder and its impact on their marriage (9). Without this social support, couples may feel more isolated and hopeless.
Factors That May Increase Chances of Divorce
While all bipolar marriages face higher divorce risks, some circumstances further increase the likelihood of separation or divorce:
- Younger age at marriage – Marrying young leaves less time to establish coping strategies before bipolar symptoms emerge.
- Pre-existing marital problems – Couples with existing conflicts are less equipped to handle the added strain of bipolar disorder.
- Low relationship satisfaction – Couples who report lower satisfaction and connection are more vulnerable to the challenges of bipolar.
- Poor medication adherence – Not taking medications consistently makes bipolar symptoms and episodes more severe and frequent.
- Substance abuse – The added burden of substance abuse makes bipolar more difficult to manage.
- Lack of treatment and support – Couples who do not get professional help for bipolar are more likely to divorce.
- Financial stress – Money problems compound the stress and tension bipolar brings to a marriage.
- Traumatic experiences – Histories of trauma or abuse can reduce resiliency in facing bipolar-related struggles.
Protective Factors That May Reduce Divorce Risk
Though bipolar marriages face significant challenges, some factors may bolster their strength and stability:
- Strong commitment – Couples with high dedication and loyalty to the marriage have more motivation to withstand difficulties.
- Open communication – Discussing feelings and problems openly builds intimacy and trust.
- Regular maintenance treatment – Ongoing bipolar treatment keeps symptoms at bay and reduces strain on the marriage.
- Shared rewarding activities – Regular positive, enjoyable activities strengthen the couple’s friendship and bond.
- Support networks – Having friends and family to turn to for help and encouragement acts as a buffer.
- Relationship education – Learning relationship skills like conflict resolution equips couples to handle challenges.
- Financial stability – Adequate income and financial planning capacities reduce money-related tensions.
- Flexibility and resilience – The ability to adapt to changing circumstances and bounce back from adversity promotes stability.
Tips for Maintaining a Strong Bipolar Marriage
Here are some tips both partners can follow to build a healthy, stable marriage despite the difficulties of bipolar disorder:
- Seek couples counseling to strengthen your relationship skills and learn to manage bipolar as a team.
- Communicate openly and frequently, particularly during mood episodes.
- Maintain medication and treatment consistency to control symptoms.
- Identify triggers and early warning signs of mood swings.
- Develop a crisis plan for handling severe manic or depressive episodes.
- Don’t hesitate to ask family and friends for practical and emotional support.
- Join a bipolar support group to share advice and encouragement with others facing similar challenges.
- Make time for fun, relaxation, and intimacy as a couple.
- Find purpose and meaning together in shared values, faith, or helping others.
Conclusion
Bipolar disorder undoubtedly increases risks and strains for marriages. However, with proper treatment, social support, relationship education, and commitment to the marriage, many couples find they can successfully manage bipolar disorder. While high divorce rates exist for these marriages, it is still possible to build a loving, lifelong relationship that withstands the mood swings and challenges of this condition if both partners are invested in the relationship and each other’s wellbeing.