Narcissists are known for having an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy. They tend to see themselves as superior to others and often exaggerate their own talents and accomplishments. When asked to describe themselves, narcissists will usually paint a very grandiose picture that emphasizes their perceived special qualities and achievements.
Their accomplishments
Narcissists will often describe themselves in terms of the accomplishments they have achieved, which are usually exaggerated. They may claim:
- To have attended elite educational institutions, even if they only took a few classes there.
- To be incredibly successful in their career, even if they have a mediocre job.
- To earn a very high salary, even if they are not particularly wealthy.
- To have received awards and accolades, even if these achievements are insignificant.
For example, a narcissist might say:
I graduated at the top of my class from Harvard Business School and now I’m the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I won Entrepreneur of the Year last year.
When the reality is much more modest. Narcissists embellish their accomplishments to portray themselves as more accomplished than they really are.
Their personality
In describing their personality traits, narcissists emphasize qualities like:
- Intelligence – They will describe themselves as brilliant, even a genius.
- Authority – They will say they were born to be a leader and have superior decision-making skills.
- Charm – They are incredibly charismatic and likable, according to their own self-view.
- Creativity – Their ideas are highly original and innovative.
For instance, a narcissist might say:
I’m incredibly smart – I have an IQ of 150. I’m also super creative and come up with brilliant ideas all the time. People are just naturally drawn to me because I’m so charming and likable.
This exaggerated sense of positive personality traits helps feed the narcissist’s ego.
Their appearance
Narcissists often place great value on physical appearances. They may describe themselves as:
- Very attractive or even the most good-looking person in the room.
- Having a killer fashion sense and impeccable style.
- Being in incredible physical shape and excelling in sports or athletics.
For example:
I’m 6’2″ with a slim, toned build. I could easily be a model with my gorgeous looks. Everyone compliments me on my incredible sense of style.
This emphasis on looks helps the narcissist reinforce their sense of grandiosity.
Their relationships
When it comes to relationships, narcissists may describe themselves as:
- Being constantly pursued by romantic interests because they are just so appealing.
- Having an extensive network of important contacts that find them charming.
- Being a fantastic partner who lavishes gifts on their significant other.
They may say things like:
I have to beat my admirers off with a stick! Everyone wants to date me because I’m such a catch. I know tons of celebrities and high-profile people who would do anything for me.
In reality, narcissists often struggle to form meaningful, reciprocal relationships. Their grandiose claims about their relationships are usually exaggerated.
Their talents
Narcissists will often describe themselves as exceptionally talented in a wide range of areas, including:
- Sports – They may claim to be highly athletic and have excelled in multiple sports or competitions.
- Artistic abilities – They may say they are incredibly gifted painters, musicians, writers, etc.
- Business acumen – They may see themselves as a business prodigy with incredible skills in finance, marketing, negotiation, etc.
For instance, a narcissist might say:
I was a star athlete in high school and college – I could have played professionally if I wanted to. I’m also an incredible painter whose work has been compared to the Old Masters. Plus, I have a real talent for picking stocks – I’m pretty much never wrong about good investments.
These types of statements help pump up the narcissist’s ego by making them seem multi-talented and gifted.
Their knowledge
Narcissists like to portray themselves as highly knowledgeable and even experts on a wide range of topics. They may claim:
- To be highly cultivated and well-read on literature, history, philosophy, etc.
- To have in-depth knowledge of political and social issues.
- To be an expert in multiple scientific fields.
For example, they may say:
I’m incredibly knowledgeable about pretty much everything. I’ve read all the classics and can quote Shakespeare from memory. I also have very sophisticated political views and understand complex policy issues that most people can’t even grasp. Plus, I’m practically a doctor with all my medical knowledge.
By claiming to be knowledgeable about everything under the sun, narcissists try to portray themselves as intellectually superior.
Their background
Narcissists may try to inflate their background to support their grandiose self-image by saying they:
- Come from an elite family pedigree – they may claim their family is royalty, aristocracy, etc.
- Grew up in luxury attending boarding schools and vacationing in exotic places.
- Had a privileged upbringing with maids, butlers, chefs, etc. catering to their every need.
For instance, a narcissist might describe their background as:
I’m descended from British royalty on my mother’s side. As a child, I attended prestigious boarding schools in Switzerland. Of course, my family had a full staff – maids, nannies, personal chefs, drivers, etc. I grew up in mansions and vacationed on yachts in the Mediterranean.
Padding their backstory helps support the narcissist’s inflated sense of self-worth.
Their influence
Narcissists will often greatly exaggerate their power and influence over others. They may describe themselves as:
- A leader who inspires and motivates the masses.
- An influencer with thousands of devoted followers.
- A media star who shapes public opinion.
For example:
I’m a YouTube influencer with over a million followers who hang on my every word. I’m also a political activist – when I speak at rallies, I can whip people into a frenzy with my powerful rhetoric. My opinions shape the national debate on key issues.
Portraying themselves as having an outsized influence feeds the narcissist’s craving for power and control.
Their obstacles
While narcissists emphasize their positive traits, they may admit to some weaknesses or obstacles they’ve faced in a way that still makes them look good, such as:
- “I’m too generous – I keep getting taken advantage of by jealous people looking for handouts.”
- “I’m too trusting sometimes – backstabbers are jealous of my success and try to sabotage me.”
- “I’m a perfectionist – I won’t settle for anything less than the best.”
They frame negative traits and setbacks as stemming from their positive qualities or from other people’s jealousy. This allows them to maintain their inflated self-image.
Their future
Narcissists will describe very grandiose visions of their future success and accomplishments. They may say:
- They will be the CEO of their own wildly successful international company.
- They will win tons of awards for their groundbreaking work.
- They will be featured on the cover of Time magazine as Person of the Year.
- They will be the President of the United States or another world leader.
For instance:
Soon my software start-up will go public and be worth billions. I’ll probably win the Nobel Prize eventually for my innovations. Everyone will know my name and face like I’m the next Elon Musk or Steve Jobs.
Believing they are destined for greatness helps feed the narcissist’s grandiose fantasy of unlimited success.
Conclusion
In conclusion, narcissists will describe themselves in overwhelmingly positive terms that reinforce their inflated self-image. They exaggerate their accomplishments, talents, relationships, background, knowledge, and influence. They downplay weaknesses and obstacles by reframing them as stemming from their many positive traits. Overall, they paint a grandiose picture of past achievements and future potential success that confirms their sense of superiority. Of course, in reality, the narcissist’s self-description is often far from accurate.