A know-it-all is someone who acts like they know everything. They often correct others and refuse to admit when they’re wrong. Know-it-alls can be frustrating to deal with. But are they actually narcissists? Here’s a closer look at the connection between know-it-alls and narcissism.
What is a know-it-all?
A know-it-all is a person who:
- Acts like an expert on many topics
- Interrupts conversations to correct others
- Refuses to admit gaps in their knowledge
- Comes across as arrogant and smug
- Seems to enjoy pointing out others’ mistakes
Know-it-alls have an inflated sense of intelligence and knowledge. They are convinced they’re right and often lecture those around them. Know-it-alls can be difficult to have conversations with because they’re unwilling to listen and learn from others.
Signs of narcissism
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fame, success and power
- A belief in being unique and superior to others
- A sense of entitlement
- A tendency to exploit or manipulate others
- A lack of empathy
Narcissists often have fragile egos under their boastful exteriors. They crave and demand constant praise and admiration. When criticized, they can become defensive or lash out at others. Narcissists struggle with building genuine connections due to their exaggerated sense of self.
The link between know-it-alls and narcissism
There is some overlap between the behaviors of know-it-alls and narcissists. Both tend to be arrogant, crave attention, and refuse to admit imperfections. However, there are also key differences:
| Know-it-all | Narcissist |
|---|---|
| Acts intellectually superior | Acts superior in many aspects of life |
| Seeks to correct others | Seeks constant validation from others |
| Enjoys educating people | Exploits and manipulates people |
| Doesn’t always realize how they come across | Intentionally exudes arrogance and charm |
| May have decent empathy and listening skills | Lacks empathy; relationships are superficial |
As this comparison shows, not all know-it-alls are narcissistic. While their behavior can be grating, some know-it-alls genuinely want to inform and educate others. They may not realize how condescending or arrogant they sound. Narcissists, on the other hand, are much more focused on themselves. Their know-it-all tendencies come from a place of ego, not a desire to enlighten.
Strategies for dealing with know-it-alls
If you suspect someone is a true narcissist, limiting contact may be safest. But for everyday know-it-alls, there are some strategies to help you cope:
- Listen – Occasionally, know-it-alls do provide useful information. Let them share without interrupting.
- Ask questions – This creates a dialogue rather than a lecture. It also models inquisitiveness.
- Validate – Say things like “You clearly know a lot about this.” It’s disarming and builds goodwill.
- Note gaps respectfully – You can say things like “I read differently, but I’m certainly no expert.”
- Focus the conversation – Steer the conversation to topics the know-it-all doesn’t dominate.
- Set boundaries – Calmly insist on a balanced, two-way conversation.
The key is being strategic without inflaming the know-it-all’s insecurities. With care and diplomacy, you can often transform an unpleasant know-it-all interaction into a more positive experience.
Conclusion
While know-it-alls can be grating and difficult, they aren’t necessarily narcissistic. Some simply want to share knowledge but lack social awareness. Creating a thoughtful, diplomatic dialogue can often lead to more balanced, enjoyable interactions with know-it-alls. However, truly narcissistic behaviors may require limiting contact. With insight and patience, know-it-alls can become less troublesome and more collaborative.