Being in a romantic relationship with a narcissist can often feel toxic and destructive. Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Narcissists tend to exploit and manipulate their romantic partners in order to feed their constant need for approval and superiority. Here are some signs that being with a narcissist may be toxic for you:
They constantly need validation
Narcissists crave having their ego stroked at all times. They want you to lavish them with praise and tend to their fragile self-esteem. This means you end up spending more time boosting up your partner than having any meaningful connections. Narcissists will place their needs ahead of yours and the relationship becomes very one-sided.
They lack empathy
One of the hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder is a lack of empathy. Narcissists struggle to understand others’ perspectives or feelings. Everything is about them. This means a narcissist partner won’t be able to truly comfort, understand, or support you when you need it most.
They are controlling
Narcissists expect to be the dominant one in their relationships. They want things their way and to be in control. They may make unilateral decisions in the relationship, ignore your needs, or micromanage your life. This controlling, authoritarian behavior can feel suffocating.
They are manipulative
In order to get their needs met, narcissists are masters at manipulation in relationships. They may gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem, threaten to leave you if you don’t comply, or even elicit narcissistic supply (praise, admiration, resources) from other sources to provoke jealousy.
They lack remorse
When narcissists inevitably engage in toxic behavior like lying, exploiting, cheating, or discarding their partners, they show no remorse. They don’t take accountability for the pain they cause others. They will turn the blame around on you and rationalize their hurtful actions.
You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells
Because the narcissist is so easily offended or angered, you end up feeling like you must police everything you say and do very cautiously. One misstep can provoke rage or punishment. The hypervigilance needed to appease them is emotionally exhausting.
Your self-esteem suffers
Narcissists are experts at doling out criticism and trampling your self-esteem. The cumulative effects of constantly being berated, judged, gaslit, and belittled can be devastating. You may start to believe the criticisms and think less of yourself.
The relationship is superficial
There is a lot of width but not a lot of depth in narcissistic relationships. Narcissists’ emotional capacity is limited, and conversing is often one-sided. The relationship revolves around them and stays at a superficial level rather than progressing into an intimate, meaningful partnership.
It’s an endless rollercoaster
The highs and lows in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like an endless emotional rollercoaster ride. Idealize, devalue, discard – narcissists will build you up only to tear you down. Just when you think things are getting better, you’ll be manipulated or abused again.
Conclusion
In summary, narcissistic relationships are predominantly imbalanced, conditional, manipulative, and emotionally exhausting for the non-narcissist partner. If your relationship exhibits multiple signs of narcissistic toxicity, it may be time to re-evaluate whether this partnership can ever truly make you happy and fulfilled in the long run. Prioritize taking care of your mental health and well-being.