Quick Answer
Bringing alcohol to a wedding specified as “dry” can be seen as rude by the marrying couple and their families. A dry wedding is one where the hosts have chosen not to serve alcoholic beverages, often for religious or cultural reasons. If you bring alcohol against their wishes, you risk offending or embarrassing them on their special day. The considerate thing is to honor the hosts’ preferences. If you feel alcohol is a must, it may be better to politely decline the invitation.
What does a “dry wedding” mean?
A dry wedding is one where no alcohol will be served to guests. The marrying couple makes this choice for a variety of reasons:
- Religious beliefs – Some faiths prohibit alcohol consumption
- Family preferences – The couple’s families may not approve of having alcohol
- Culture – In some cultures, alcohol is frowned upon
- Past issues – The couple or their families may have dealt with alcoholism
- Venue restrictions – Some venues do not allow alcohol
- Cost – An open bar can be very expensive for the hosts
The marrying couple announces a dry wedding on the invitation, through a wedding website, or by word-of-mouth. This gives guests advance notice so they can make any necessary adjustments.
Why is it rude to bring alcohol?
Bringing your own alcohol to a dry wedding is generally considered rude for these key reasons:
It disrespects the hosts’ rules
The marrying couple has specifically requested a dry event. By sneaking in alcohol, you are completely disregarding their wishes on their special day. This sends the message that you think your desires are more important than theirs.
It can embarrass the hosts
The hosts may have chosen a dry wedding to appease family members who do not approve of drinking. Bringing alcohol risks contradicting their wishes and causing embarrassment.
It pressures others to drink
Your alcohol may encourage other guests to drink as well. This can derail the hosts’ plans for a sober event.
It sets a bad example
Drinking alcohol in secret defiance of the rules demonstrates disrespect. It also encourages other guests to ignore the hosts’ preferences.
It can lead to disruptive intoxication
Excessive drinking can ruin the sophisticated mood hosts often aim for at weddings. Rowdy, drunk guests are disruptive and take attention away from the marrying couple.
The hosts cannot monitor or control it
When hosts serve alcohol, they can regulate how much guests consume. If you BYOB, the hosts lose this control. Overserving and intoxication become concerns.
Are there any exceptions?
Most etiquette experts agree bringing alcohol to a dry wedding is a major faux pas. However, there may be rare exceptions in some circumstances:
Medical need
If you have a medical condition where you could face harm by abruptly stopping alcohol consumption, discreetly speaking to the hosts may be understandable. But it would be ideal to mention this ahead of time, not the day of the event.
Cultural traditions
Some cultural wedding customs involve sharing drinks, such as the Jewish tradition of stomping a glass wrapped in cloth. If alcohol plays an absolutely essential role in your culture’s wedding rituals, careful moderation may be acceptable. But you should confirm with the hosts first that any alcohol use aligns with their beliefs.
Infrequent toasting
At some dry weddings, champagne may be permitted for occasional toasting purposes, like the bride and groom’s first toast. If you notice other guests taking part in structured toasting, using alcohol just for those specific traditions may be okay. But hover around 1-2 drinks total.
Permission from the marrying couple
If the marrying couple gives you explicit permission to bring some alcohol, it may be alright. But they should confirm discretion, like keeping it hidden in a purse and consuming in the parking lot only. Public intoxication or blatant rule-breaking would still be inappropriate.
How to politely handle a dry wedding
If attending a dry wedding makes you really uncomfortable, the most polite option is to graciously decline the invitation. But if you choose to attend, here are some respectful ways to handle it:
Notify the hosts
If abstaining all day would pose health risks or extreme discomfort for you, notify the marrying couple discreetly in advance. See if a compromise like consuming discreetly outside the venue is possible.
Eat before attending
Consuming a full meal ahead of time can help you feel satisfied without alcohol to take the edge off.
Try mocktails
Many dry weddings offer specialty non-alcoholic drinks. Enjoy fun mocktails to stay in a celebratory mindset.
Bring a flask discreetly
While still somewhat controversial, discreetly sipping from a flask may be an option if approved by the hosts. Keep it completely hidden and consume in private away from the wedding party and families.
Focus on the marriage
Keep your attention on celebrating the couple and their love. Make being present for their special day your priority rather than your own drinking preferences.
Appreciate the money saved
An open bar can cost $30-$85 per guest. Enjoy the extra cash in your wallet by not having alcohol.
Embrace the health benefits
A day without drinking allows your body to reap the benefits of sobriety. Wake up the next day feeling refreshed instead of hungover.
Set an example for others
By respecting the hosts’ wishes, you set a positive example for other guests to do the same. Your self-control encourages moderation over selfishness.
Plan your drinking for later
Attending a dry wedding does not mean you have to go 100% sober if that seems too difficult. Simply postpone your drinking plans:
Pre-game responsibly
If having a few drinks before the event takes the edge off, do so in moderation. Make sure to consume 1-2 hours before arriving so the effects wear off before you interact with other guests. And arrange safe transportation.
After-party wisely
You can choose to indulge in alcohol at any after-parties or at home once wedding events conclude. Just don’t drive intoxicated and letstaff know if you need help arranging transportation.
Next-day brunch cheerfully
Treat yourself to a fun boozy brunch the next day when you’re in the clear and can drink guilt-free. Mimosa anyone?
Alternative ways to handle dry wedding discomfort
If foregoing alcohol feels challenging, try these methods to ease any stress:
Talk to a therapist
If social events without alcohol cause you severe anxiety, speaking to a mental health professional can help manage those feelings. They can teach coping strategies.
Bring an alcohol-drinking friend
Having a supportive friend who also enjoys drinking by your side can make abstaining feel less intimidating. Lean on each other for morale support.
Take mental breaks
If you feel overwhelmed at points, step away from the crowd and take deep breaths. Splash cold water on your face or go for a short walk to refresh. Regain composure before rejoining.
Request alcohol-free options
Ask the wedding planner if the venue has non-alcoholic beer or wine. Sipping these can help you feel included in toasts.
Stay busy
Keep your hands occupied, whether helping with photos, dancing, or playing with kids. Staying busy distracts from cravings and fills time.
Conclusion
Bringing alcohol to a dry wedding generally demonstrates blatant disrespect toward the marrying couple’s wishes. While there may be rare exceptions if handled discreetly and with permission, the safest option is to honor the hosts’ rules. If declining the invitation altogether does not feel right, focus your energy on celebrating the couple and appreciate the health and cost benefits of a sober day. Plan to postpone drinking for later if abstaining seems too difficult. With the right mindset and support system, you can graciously embrace a dry wedding.