Should I feel guilty about quitting my job?

Table of Contents

Summary

Quitting a job can bring up feelings of guilt, especially if you have a good relationship with your employer or team. However, at the end of the day, you need to do what is best for your career and wellbeing. Here are some key points to keep in mind:

It’s normal to feel some guilt, but don’t let it consume you.

Be professional in how you resign – give proper notice, document your work, and offer to help transition.
Reflect on what you’ve gained, not just what you’re leaving behind.
You’re not irreplaceable – while your employer may be disappointed, they will manage.

Guilt means you care, which is a good thing. But care also for your own growth.
This is an opportunity to take your career in a new direction.

While giving your employer ample notice and being thoughtful in your exit can ease feelings of guilt, at the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for you and your career. The company will recover.

Why you might feel guilty

There are some common reasons why quitting a job may lead to feelings of guilt:

You have a good relationship with your boss or team. It’s tough to let down leaders and coworkers you respect and enjoy working with.
You feel a sense of responsibility. If it’s a small company or you play an important role, you may feel overly responsible.

You worry about leaving them in a difficult position. Quitting can mean more work for those left behind, at least temporarily.
It seems poorly timed. Quitting in the middle of a big project or busy season may look bad.
Loyalty is important to you. You likely feel guilty if you pride yourself on loyalty to employers.

You have doubts. Second guessing yourself can magnify guilt.

While these feelings are normal, it’s unhealthy to let guilt control your career choices. The company will recover no matter how difficult the transition may be.

You’re not irreplaceable

It’s easy to overestimate our value and impact. While the company may struggle initially when you leave, they will be able to replace you. Employees quit or get hired all the time – it’s part of business.

The company won’t collapse without you. Have confidence in your employer to figure it out. Their success or failure is not wholly dependent on you staying.

How to resign respectfully

Giving proper notice and making the transition smooth can minimize any hard feelings or guilt about quitting. Here are some tips for resigning gracefully:

Give at least two weeks notice, if not more. The standard is typically 2-4 weeks.

If you’re in a more senior role, plan to give 4-6 weeks notice if possible.
Submit formal written resignation letter in addition to resigning in person.
Offer to help hire and train your replacement.

Create thorough documentation of your responsibilities and projects.
Introduce your manager to key contacts you worked with.
Tie up any loose ends on projects and organize your files.

Express appreciation for opportunities you were given.
Keep your last two weeks productive and positive.

Some things to avoid when resigning:

Don’t resign via text or email – do it in person if possible.
Don’t vent all your grievances – keep it professional.
Don’t slack off or act resentful in your last weeks.

Don’t steal clients or badmouth the company after you leave.

Sample resignation letter

Here is a resignation letter sample you can adapt:

[Your Name]
[Your Address]
[Date]

[Manager’s Name]
[Company]
[Company Address]

Dear [Manager’s Name]:

Please accept this letter as my formal notice that I am resigning from my position as [position name] at [Company]. My last day will be [date two weeks from turn in date].

I want to thank you for the opportunities for growth and development that you have provided me during my time with [Company]. Working on [projects or accomplishments] has been highly rewarding.

To ensure a smooth transition, I am happy to assist with training and onboarding my replacement. I will also spend the next two weeks documenting my responsibilities and projects to create a resource for whoever fills this role next.

[Company] is doing meaningful work that I will always admire. I wish the organization continued success, and I wish you and my colleagues the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
[Your name and signature]

This expresses appreciation while also offering to tie up loose ends. This helps maintain positive relationships.

Focus on the positives

It’s easy to dwell on the negatives or what you may miss. But focusing on the positives can help alleviate guilt. Here are some of the upsides to keep in mind:

You’re starting an exciting new chapter for your career.
You’re taking initiative to improve your work situation.
This opens up new opportunities for career growth.

You’re being brave and making a big change.
You’ll be able to reduce your daily stress and anxiety.
You can gain experience working in a new industry.

This will help expand your skill set.
You’ll be able to enjoy new challenges.

Change is always a mix of positives and negatives. But don’t let the guilt cloud all the exciting upsides to this transition.

Reflect on what you gained

It’s easy to only think about what you’re leaving behind. But remember to reflect on all that you gained from this job experience, such as:

Valuable industry experience
Specific skills in key areas

Important professional connections
Mentorship from certain leaders
Personal growth and maturity

You’re not just quitting a job – you’re taking all those rewards with you. Appreciate how this role has contributed to your larger career journey.

Things you should not feel guilty about

While some guilt is normal, there are certain things you should not feel bad about:

Taking a great new opportunity that advances your career or personal life.

Seeking improved work-life balance or reduced stress.
Wanting better compensation and benefits.
Feeling you have stopped growing and learning in the role.

Realizing the job or company culture is no longer a good fit.
Moving due to your spouse’s job relocation.
Pursuing education like a graduate program.

Taking time away from the workforce for family or personal reasons.

You should never feel guilty about making a choice that is best for your long-term career fulfillment or personal happiness. Your own needs should be the priority.

Your health and wellbeing come first

At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for your health and wellbeing. Here are some important points if the job has been damaging in these areas:

Don’t stay in a highly stressful job with no work-life balance – it can have serious health impacts over time.
No job is worth harming your mental health and self-esteem.
It’s better for your and your family in the long run to change jobs than remain in a damaging work environment.

The company will manage, but prolonging your own suffering helps no one.

While it can be difficult to leave coworkers and projects behind, your wellbeing must win out.

How to cope with guilt

If you are really struggling with guilt about leaving your job, here are some tips:

Give yourself time. Guilt often lessens once you actually leave and adjust to your new routine.
Talk to trusted friends who can reassure you that you’re making the right move.
Have confidence the company will manage without you.

Practice self-care like exercise, healthy food, and rest to reduce stress.
Reflect on all you’ve gained that you can take with you.
Focus on the excitement of your next opportunity.

Start a gratitude journal to redirect your focus to the positives.

Be patient – guilt often naturally diminishes with time once you become busy in your new role. Keep perspective and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Talk to your manager

If you are feeling really anxious about it, it can help to talk to your manager. Express that while you are excited about your next opportunity, you also have mixed emotions about leaving a team you enjoy working with.

Most managers understand that employees come and go – they won’t hold it against you. It can help to hear the manager’s reassurance that they appreciate all your work and wish you the best.

Key takeaways

Here are some final tips to remember when navigating guilt about quitting a job:

Some guilt is normal – don’t let it consume you.

Reflect on how quitting benefits your career and happiness.
Make the transition smooth through proper notice and documentation.
Focus less on what you’re leaving and more on the exciting future.

Your health and fulfillment should be top priority – not excessive loyalty.
Change is positive, even when also bittersweet.

While it’s natural to feel some guilt, staying stuck in a job that’s no longer right wastes your potential. Have confidence this is the best move for your personal growth.

Conclusion

Quitting a job can stir up complicated emotions like guilt. But by focusing on the positives, having consideration for your employer’s needs, and trusting it’s the right move for your career, you can manage any difficult feelings.

With proper notice and a smooth exit, you can leave on a positive note and make the transition easier on everyone. This chapter was simply waiting to be closed so you can move on to an even better opportunity. Have faith in your decision and embrace this next adventure.