Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in life. Having true, loyal friends can get you through thick and thin. But what does it really take to be a true friend? Let’s explore the qualities and behaviors that make up genuine friendship.
Being There Through Thick and Thin
One of the hallmarks of a true friend is that they stick by your side through good times and bad. When life gets chaotic or stressful, a real friend lends an ear, offers advice, and provides emotional support. They don’t bail when times get tough. Here are some ways true friends show up during challenging times:
- They listen without judgment when you need to vent or get advice
- They offer compassion and encouragement when you experience a loss or setback
- They make time for you when you really need company or a shoulder to lean on
- They stand up for you when others are treating you unfairly
Being available for comfort and counsel during crises big and small is a key sign of real friendship. Fairweather friends come and go, but true blue friends are in it for the long haul.
Accepting You As You Are
True friends embrace the real you – quirks, flaws, and all. A genuine friend won’t pressure you to be someone you’re not. Here’s how true friends demonstrate acceptance:
- They don’t judge you for being yourself – they appreciate your unique personality
- They don’t put you down or criticize you unfairly
- They respect your boundaries and don’t push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with
- They recognize your strengths and don’t dwell on your weaknesses
- They offer helpful advice when needed but don’t try to change your core being
Knowing your friend has your back no matter what allows you to relax and be your authentic self. You don’t have to pretend to be perfect around real friends.
Making Time for You
In today’s busy world, people’s schedules fill up quickly. One way to know someone truly values your friendship is if they consistently make time for you. Here are signs a friend carves out priority time for your relationship:
- They initiate contact frequently – you’re not always the one reaching out
- They remember important dates like your birthday or an anniversary
- They say no to other plans periodically so they can hang out with you
- They don’t constantly cancel or postpone get-togethers
- They put their phone away when spending time together to give you their undivided attention
Making room in their calendar demonstrates your relationship matters. When someone’s too busy for you, the friendship can start to feel one-sided.
Being Trustworthy
Trust is an essential foundation for true friendship. You need to know your friend has your back and will be loyal. Trustworthy friends:
- Keep private conversations confidential
- Don’t gossip about you to others
- Stand up for you when someone else criticizes you
- Support you in public even if they disagree in private
- Have integrity and make choices true to their values
Without trust, there’s no depth to the relationship. You need to know your friend’s intentions are good and they’ll protect your interests.
Giving More Than They Take
Friendship can’t be all take and no give – it will quickly become toxic and draining. True friends are generous with their time, energy, and support. Here are signs a friend gives at least as much as they take:
- They reciprocate favors and lend a hand when you need help
- They take an interest in what’s going on in your life, not just talk about themselves
- They celebrate your accomplishments and milestones
- They make an effort to include you in activities and introduce you to other friends
- They offer sincere compliments and praise
You feel replenished, not drained, after spending time together. The give and take feels fair and mutually beneficial.
Being Honest While Also Being Kind
Honesty builds trust in a friendship, but being bluntly truthful can hurt feelings. True friends master the art of providing constructive feedback in a thoughtful, caring way. They:
- Are sensitive and diplomatic when discussing a troubling issue
- Avoid hurtful language and criticism
- Make requests, not demands
- Focus on resolving problems, not attacking
- Watch for nonverbal cues and adjust their approach if needed
Real friends know how to get their point across while preserving the relationship. You can be honest without being hurtful.
Allowing Freedom
While it’s nice to spend a lot of time together, true friends don’t demand all of your free time. They encourage you to pursue your own interests as well. Healthy friendships have these traits:
- They don’t guilt or pressure you to always hang out together
- They have interests and relationships beyond just you
- They avoid constantly texting or calling when apart so you can focus on other activities
- They are happy for you when you share good news about other areas of your life
- They don’t rely solely on the friendship to meet all their social needs
True friends realize you need space to explore individual friendships, hobbies, and romantic relationships. Clinginess or jealousy is a red flag.
Supporting Each Other’s Growth
As people change and grow over time, true friendship evolves with them. Friends who share a journey of mutual growth:
- Cheer each other on as they set and achieve new goals
- Swap book, article, podcast and other recommendations that enable growth
- Discuss ideas to expand each other’s perspectives
- Brainstorm creative solutions when one friend is struggling or stagnant
- Provide accountability to take risks, get out of comfort zones and level up
The friendship isn’t static. It’s continually uplifting and inspiring new development.
Having Fun Together
Laughter, adventure and lighthearted moments are the spice of friendship. True friends know how to be silly, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. Hallmarks of true fun include:
- Inside jokes and shared memories of hilarious incidents
- Banter and witty exchanges that come effortlessly
- Trying new activities, restaurants, travel spots and entertainment together
- Letting loose and being unfiltered during girls’/guys’ night out
- Game nights, movie marathons, camping trips and other playful bonding traditions
There’s just an easy, infectious joy when you’re together. The smiles, giggles and good vibes lift both your spirits.
Being Open and Vulnerable
It takes courage and trust to open up about intimate struggles, insecurities and emotional needs. True friends create a safe space where it feels comfortable to confess challenges like:
- Childhood wounds or past trauma
- Mental health struggles such as anxiety or depression
- Body image issues or struggles with self-confidence
- Relationship problems or heartbreak
- Career uncertainty, dissatisfaction or burnout
They hold your secrets closely and don’t weaponize your vulnerabilities. Being able to bare your soul is healing.
Celebrating Each Other’s Wins
True friends feel genuinely happy for each other when something good happens. There’s no envy or competition – just joint joy at major life milestones like:
- A new job, promotion or other career success
- Recovery from illness or a positive health update
- The birth of a child or other new addition to the family
- A new home, car or other major purchase
- A big trip, experience or creative achievement
Seeing your friend succeed and thrive feels like your own victory too. Shared celebrations strengthen bonds.
Dropping Everything in an Emergency
When crisis strikes, true friends respond immediately to provide support. If your car breaks down on the highway, you miss a flight, or face another situation where you desperately need help, a real friend will:
- Answer the phone, no matter what time it is
- Leave work or rearrange their schedule without hesitation
- Drive to pick you up or let you stay at their place
- Connect you with people in their network who can help
- Bring food, supplies or other relief to the scene
You can count on them to show up for the big fires in life, not just share lighter moments.
Speaking Kindly Behind Your Back
It’s human nature to vent frustrations at times, even about close friends. But true friends still avoid unnecessary gossip or negativity. A real friend:
- stands up for you if others are gossiping or unfairly criticizing you
- speaks positively when you come up in conversation
- defends you if someone questions your character
- doesn’t divulge sensitive information you shared privately
- redirects conversations about you to positive topics
You feel secure knowing your friend “has your back” and won’t tear you down when you aren’t around.
Reciprocating Effort
Friendships can’t be one-sided. While there may be periods when one person needs more support, true friends make an effort to balance give and take. Signs include:
- Taking turns initiating contact and planning get-togethers
- Making time for each other’s interests, not just their own
- Listening as much as they talk
- Offering favors and assistance when needed
- Following through consistently, not just being flaky and noncommittal
Reciprocity comes naturally, not out of obligation. Each friend sincerely wants to be there for the other.
The Friendship Survives Fights
No friendship is 100% smooth sailing at all times. Disagreements and conflict are inevitable. But true friends value the relationship enough to work through tensions and hurt feelings by:
- Communicating openly and honestly, not avoiding difficult conversations
- Apologizing sincerely when they’ve made a mistake or hurt you
- Listening to each other’s perspectives with empathy
- Compromising when needed to find a resolution
- Agreeing to disagree respectfully on certain issues
The friendship emerges even stronger, with more understanding and commitment to making it work.
Feeling Like Family
The closest of friends form bonds as strong as family ties. You trust each other implicitly and can’t imagine life without your chosen “siblings.” Signs include:
- Time apart makes you miss each other like you would a brother or sister
- You’ve helped each other through life’s biggest moments and crises
- You’ve become part of each other’s extended families over time
- You know you’ll be friends for life, through all of its ups and downs
- The connection feels irreplaceable, eternal and chosen
This “found family” provides lifelong stability and belonging. Friends can be family too.
Conclusion
True friendship boils down to consistent love, care and support through life’s journey. It transcends fun nights out or temporary shared interests. The hallmarks include unwavering loyalty, trust, vulnerability, honesty, laughter, emotional safety and resilience. Investing in these life-affirming bonds is worth the effort.