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What did the red staples button say?

The red staples button has been the center of office gossip for years. Some say it holds a mysterious power while others claim it’s just an ordinary office supply. But behind closed cubicle walls, the truth remains elusive. Let’s examine the facts and theories around the enigmatic red staples button.

The Origins

The earliest known red staples button dates back to the 1960s when staplers began being mass produced in bright colors. Marketers believed that vibrant hues would help staplers stand out in stores. Red, in particular, conveyed a bold, attention-grabbing image. While most colored staplers eventually faded away, the red staple button became an iconic office product.

The original red staple buttons were made of plastic or metal and included the word “Staples” embossed on top. Some designs had a simple round shape while others had grooved edges for improved grip. The red color ranged from cherry to crimson. While many companies distributed red staple buttons, Swingline and Acco remain two of the most popular brands today.

So why has this small red object had such staying power? Perhaps it has something to do with the prominence of red in office environments. From red pens to folders to the infamous red swingline model 747 stapler made famous in the 1999 cult film Office Space, red makes things pop in the sea of grey and beige.

Theories and Speculation

Over the years, the red staples button has been shrouded in mystery and intrigue. For many office workers, pressing the red button is a daily ritual. But the significance behind the action depends on who you ask.

Some believe the red button emits a secret frequency that boosts productivity. It’s known that colors like red and orange can increase enthusiasm and stimulate the brain. There’s likely some placebo effect from focusing on and pressing a bright red button throughout the day. Similar to how wearing a lucky piece of clothing can make someone feel more confident, interacting with the red button may provide a subtle cognitive boost for some.

Others suspect there’s a hidden camera inside the red button to monitor employees. This theory is highly unlikely and borders on conspiracy. Small staplers simply do not have the capacity to contain recording devices and covertly broadcast footage. While theoretically possible, button cameras require specialty equipment that would be cost-prohibitive and easily discovered.

A more lighthearted theory is that the red staples button represents the heart of the stapler. Just as a heart pumps blood to give a body life, the button activates the stapler to push out staples. This anthropomorphizes the stapler as a living being that we nurture through the repetitive press of the red button. This reflects how office workers can form emotional connections to even the simplest inanimate objects that keep our work running smoothly day after day.

Responses from Real Red Staples Buttons

While we can only speculate about the red staples button’s perspective, if we could ask, here are some likely responses:

  • “I don’t have much to say, I’m just a humble button after all.”
  • “Press me! Click me! I live for that sweet button pressing action.”
  • “Do you ever wonder if I get lonely waiting here all day for you to press me?”
  • “I hold this stapler together, so show me some respect!”

The red button plays an integral role in stapler functionality but at the end of the day, it’s an inanimate object without consciousness or ego. Any deeper meaning comes from the associations made by office workers. While fun to imagine a talking button, the reality is that red staples buttons simply fulfill their essential purpose without fanfare.

Inside the Stapler: How the Red Button Works

The red staples button may seem mystical but its operation is actually straightforward mechanics. Here’s a look inside the stapler at what happens when you press the button:

  1. The button is positioned over a spring and lever arm inside the stapler body. Pushing down compress the spring.
  2. This pivots the lever arm which begins lifting the stapler’s ram upward.
  3. The ram is what pushes the staple through your papers. As the ram lifts, it also slides back a metal plate to make way for the staple legs.
  4. Once the button is fully depressed, the lifting motion also pulls back a locking latch that holds the ram down initially.
  5. Releasing the button lets the compressed spring expand again which causes the lever arm to drop the ram down forcefully.
  6. This drives the staple into the paper with a satisfying clench.

While the components are hidden, you can sometimes observe parts of this mechanical sequence in action. For certain stapler models, the ramp lifts visibly before slamming down on the staple’s backside. The red button on top facilitates this “behind the scenes” process resulting in a successfully secured document.

Troubleshooting Tips

If pressing the red button doesn’t result in a staple being discharged, here are some troubleshooting tips:

  • Make sure staples are loaded in the stapler magazine. Shake the stapler gently to listen for rattling staples inside.
  • Check for staples jammed inside the mechanism and remove any obstructing bent staples with pliers.
  • Examine the staple magazine spring to ensure it returns to the starting position after compression.
  • Inspect the underside of the red button for damage or detachment from the lever arm.
  • Clean stapler components with a dry soft brush to remove paper dust buildup.

Taking good care of your stapler and paying attention to the red button can help nip most issues in the bud. But after prolonged heavy use, all staplers eventually require retirement or replacement.

Red Button Memorabilia

For red staples button aficionados, there is a surprising amount of branded merchandise available. Here are some favorite collectibles and novelty items:

Item Description
T-Shirts T-shirts printed with large photorealistic red buttons for that eye-catching look.
Pinback Buttons 1-inch red buttons with clever slogans like “Push My Button” to wear on bags and jackets.
Mugs Coffee mugs with handles shaped like – you guessed it – a red staples button.
Magnets Red button magnets to stick on whiteboards, file cabinets, and fridges.

These whimsical products let button lovers showcase their passion. They also demonstrate how color, shape, and familiarity can transform an everyday office tool into a pop culture icon.

Pressing the Red Button: Why We Do It

At the end of the day, what causes someone to mindlessly press a red staples button up to hundreds of times per week? Here are some top theories on what makes the action so habitual:

  • Visceral satisfaction – People enjoy the tactile, visual and auditory feedback from pressing the button and seeing/hearing the staple mechanism respond.
  • Fidget factor – The button provides a convenient outlet for nervous energy and fidgeting.
  • Focus aid – The repetitive motion can aid concentration similar to doodling or chewing gum.
  • Subconscious draw – The eye-catching red color triggers an instinctual urge to touch.
  • OCD tendencies – Individuals with OCD may fixate on pressing rituals an exact number of times to ease anxieties.

Workers often tap staplers or click pens without thinking. But something about the prominent red staples button seems to attract focus in a way we still don’t completely understand. There’s likely no single driving factor but rather a combination of forces that turn stapling into an immersive sensory experience.

Conclusion

While the red staples button retains an air of mystery, our dive into its history, function and memorabilia helps demystify this peculiar office character. At its core, the button is simply a mechanical switch for activating staplers. But the significance we ascribe to it – as a productivity totem, fidget outlet or beloved collectible – reveals how even workaday objects can provide meaning and connection. The next time your fingers find the red button, take a moment to appreciate this icon of office life.