Flirting can sometimes be subtle and hard to recognize. However, there are some common signs that suggest when someone is flirting with you. Being able to recognize these signs can help you understand when someone is interested in you romantically or sexually.
They Make Eye Contact
One of the most notable signs of flirting is prolonged eye contact. When someone is interested in you, they will likely try to hold your gaze and look directly into your eyes when speaking to you or listening to you speak. This signifies that they are engaged and want to observe you closely.
Some key things to look for are:
- The person makes repeated eye contact, more than would be expected in normal conversation.
- They hold eye contact for longer than usual, letting their gaze linger.
- Their pupils may dilate while looking at you, indicating arousal and interest.
- They smile or blush while maintaining eye contact.
Of course, context matters. Brief eye contact can just be polite. But consistent, lengthy eye contact typically means someone is attracted to you.
They Find Excuses to Touch You
Another strong sign of flirting is when someone finds reasons to initiate physical contact with you. Gentle or subtle touching can be a way to gauge your interest and express their attraction.
Signs of flirtatious touch include:
- Touching your hand or arm when speaking.
- Brushing your leg with theirs if sitting side-by-side.
- Putting a hand on your shoulder or back as they walk past you.
- Playing with your hair, touching your face, or straightening your clothing.
- Hugging you for longer than usual when greeting or saying goodbye.
While these may seem ambiguous on their own, they can indicate flirting when combined with other signals. The touch is generally casual and intended to create a playful or lighthearted mood between you.
They Lean Towards You
Posture and proximity also matter. Someone interested in you will likely find excuses to move closer and angle their body towards yours during conversation.
Signs of this include:
- Leaning in when you are speaking or listening to them speak.
- Positioning their shoulders square to you and maintaining little space between you.
- Tilting their head and body in your direction when you are near one another.
- Briefly resting their hand or knee against yours if sitting side-by-side.
The leaning and angling brings you into their personal space, hinting at intimacy. It also shows they are engaged in the dialogue and receptive to you.
They Pay Close Attention to You
In addition to eye contact, someone who is flirting will show interest by closely following everything you say and do. Signs of this include:
- Nodding and reacting to things you say to show they are listening.
- Laughing or smiling at your jokes and stories.
- Remembering small details about you from prior conversations.
- Asking questions to keep conversation flowing with you.
- Following up on things you previously mentioned.
They may also hang on your every word when you are speaking, and watch you intently when others are speaking to you. Their focus remains on you.
They Get Nervous or Awkward
Flirting involves a bit of vulnerability, so anxiety frequently comes along with it. You may notice signs of shyness or awkwardness as they work up the nerve to interact with you.
Some examples include:
- Stumbling over their words or mumbling around you.
- Fidgeting and restless behavior like playing with their hair or tapping their fingers.
- Quickly looking away if you notice them looking at you.
- Blushing when you are near or when your hands accidentally touch.
- Making jokes or quirky remarks to ease the tension.
These quirks show they feel self-conscious around you because they want to impress you. The excitement and tension of the situation makes them more jittery.
They Find Excuses to Talk to You
If someone seems to pop up around you a lot and start casual conversations, they likely want an excuse to interact with you more. Notice if they:
- Initiate conversation each time they see you, even if just briefly.
- Linger in your vicinity without an obvious purpose.
- Ask mundane questions as a reason to chat, such as asking the time or asking what you ordered at a restaurant.
- Make small talk about the environment around you, like the weather or pop music playing.
- Look for openings to join conversations you are having with others.
These types of everyday icebreakers signal they want to create opportunities to talk and flirt with you, even if subtle.
They Compliment and Flatter You
Look for compliments and remarks intended to impress you or gain your approval. Examples include:
- Complimenting your appearance, style, or personality traits.
- Mentioning being impressed by your intelligence, talents, sense of humor, etc.
- Paying you elaborate compliments using poetic or dramatic language.
- Bragging about accomplishments or associations in order to seem more desirable.
- Bringing you gifts or mementos that remind them of you.
These are all attempts to highlight their interest and admiration. Be aware of compliments that seem targeted to make you feel special or swoon.
Their Body Language Conveys Openness
Flirting involves projecting receptiveness and availability through unspoken signals. Take note if their body language conveys openness when you are together.
Signs of welcoming body language include:
- Standing with their arms and chest area open, rather than crossed.
- Tilting their neck and head upward to expose their face and throat.
- Having relaxed, loose limbs rather than tight, contracted posture.
- Pointing their feet and knees in your direction when standing near you.
- Leaning back comfortably rather than hunching over.
Posture conveys a lot. Open stances signal they feel safe and positive around you. They want to appear receptive to your approach.
They Get Playful and Banter with You
Witty, teasing banter frequently arises during flirtatious exchanges. Signs of playful conversational flirting include:
- Teasing you in a fun, silly way to up the playful energy.
- Using exaggeration or sarcasm to get you laughing and engaging.
- Cracking jokes trying to get your attention and impress you.
- Playfully challenging you to activities like games, debates on issues, or even dancing.
- Making exaggerated reactions to your jokes and opinions to show liveliness.
Playful banter builds chemistry and creates a flirty “verbal dance” between you. It also subtly suggests their interest without being too overt.
They Get Competitive with You
Some flirting takes on a competitive, indirect tension. Signs of this include:
- Bragging or showing off certain skills, achievements, or possessions.
- Wanting to best you at games, sports, or other contests.
- Debating you on controversial topics to highlight differences.
- Challenging you to compete over things like drinking or eating quickly.
- Talking about romantic or sexual experiences to stir jealousy.
This revolves around impressing you, stirring passion, and building tighter chemistry between you. It also helps gauge your interest when you respond competitively.
They Find Ways to Keep Connecting
If someone wants to remain in contact with you, they will find ways to nurture ongoing interaction. Tactics may include:
- Commenting on your social media posts frequently to stay involved in your activities.
- Texting you funny images, articles, or other personalized content.
- Tagging you in relevant posts or including you in online groups.
- Remembering important dates like your birthday and finding an occasion to reach out.
- Following up to continue prior conversations: “Any updates on…”.
Staying in regular contact outside of face-to-face interactions demonstrates effort to get closer to you.
They Act Differently Around You
Someone crushing on you may behave differently when you are present compared to with others. Take note if they seem to:
- Get quieter and more shy or nervous in groups when you are around.
- Act louder, exaggerate stories, and try to be the center of attention around you.
- Become clumsier, stumbling or fidgeting more when you are watching.
- Make inside jokes between the two of you or give you special nicknames.
- Imitate your mannerisms subconsciously when interacting with you.
These unconscious shifts in how they act reveal their desire to appeal to you. The “real them” comes out when alone with you.
Their Friends Drop Hints
Those around the person flirting may pick up on their interest before you do. This leads to:
- Friends teasing or prodding them when you come around.
- Peers making excuses for the two of you to interact.
- Winks, nudges, or suggestive looks from friends directed at the person when you interact.
- Friends asking if you are single or making other fishing inquiries.
- Acquaintances referencing you being the “crush” or saying you two would make a cute couple.
Friends want to support the flirter and move things along for them. Their involvement is a definite hint of romantic interest brewing.
Conclusion
Flirting encompasses verbal and nonverbal cues – some bold, some quite subtle. The most obvious signs are when someone shows focused attention, compliments you, makes physical contact, or looks for reasons to interact. But even small signals like getting shy, competitive, playful or awkwards reveal attraction. Noticing patterns in their behavior and body language can help recognize when flirting is underway.