Shutting down emotionally refers to closing yourself off from experiencing and expressing emotions as a way to avoid feeling psychological pain or vulnerability. It is a defensive coping mechanism in response to emotionally difficult situations or relationships. People may consciously or unconsciously shut down parts of themselves, withdrawing both emotionally and psychologically from others or even from themselves.
Some common signs of emotional shutdown include feeling numb, empty, or hollow inside; difficulty identifying, expressing, or even feeling one’s emotions; avoidance of meaningful connections and intimacy; repression or denial of painful thoughts and feelings; excessive use of logic over emotions; and detachment from relationships. Under prolonged emotional shutdown, a person can become depleted and drained with a dimmed inner life.
Why Do People Shut Down Emotionally?
There are various reasons why someone might shut down emotionally:
Trauma and Abuse
Past experiences of trauma, abuse, neglect, or dysfunction in childhood can condition a person to believe emotions are dangerous or unacceptable. To survive painful environments, children may learn to suppress their feelings and needs to avoid further hurt. Without healing, these patterns continue into adulthood.
Fear of Rejection or Abandonment
People afraid of rejection or abandonment may avoid emotional needs and vulnerability in relationships. Shutting down protects them from the repeated pain of loss, but also prevents intimacy.
Perfectionism
Perfectionists often repress emotions that reveal flaws and humanity. This stems from beliefs that emotions should be controlled, vulnerability is weakness, and maintaining a perfect image is paramount.
Emotional Overload
Prolonged stress can deplete emotional reserves, causing a shutdown as self-protection from feeling overwhelmed. People may “go numb” in response to work burnout, caregiving exhaustion, or trauma such as natural disasters.
Gender Norms
Societal gender norms and socialization can encourage emotional stoicism in men and some women. Expressing vulnerability may be associated with weakness, while restricting emotions is linked to strength.
Personality
Innate personality traits like introversion or thinking versus feeling preferences can contribute to shutting down emotions, especially difficult ones involving conflicts or intimacy in relationships.
Mental Health Issues
Conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and schizophrenia may involve restricted emotions or flat affect as a symptom. Treatment is needed to address the root cause.
What are the Effects of Emotional Shut Down?
Chronic emotional shutdown takes a toll both psychologically and physically:
| Psychological Effects | Physical Effects |
|---|---|
| – Depression or chronic emptiness | – Tension from repressed emotions |
| – Difficulty identifying own emotions | – Weakened immune system |
| – Feeling disconnected from self and others | – Digestive issues |
| – Impaired self-esteem | – Sleep problems |
| – Emotional leaks or outbursts | – Lower energy levels |
| – Struggles with intimacy and relationships | – Headaches or muscle pain |
| – Overthinking and anxiety | – Heart health risks |
By numbing emotions, people also miss out on positive feelings like joy, intimacy, and happiness. Unfelt emotions may later emerge as moodiness, passive-aggressiveness, or paranoia towards others. Overall quality of life deteriorates without the depth of felt experience.
How to Stop Shutting Down Emotionally
It takes patience and courage to open back up after shutting emotions away for so long. Healing this pattern involves retraining both your body and mind. Ways to reopen yourself include:
Seeking Therapy
Working with a therapist provides guided support for past traumas causing emotional numbness. Together, you can process painful experiences in healthier ways.
Practicing Self-Awareness
Notice when you start to shut down and name the emotions you may be avoiding. Journaling, meditation, and personal check-ins help build emotional awareness.
Identifying Triggers
Reflect on situations, interactions, and thought patterns triggering you to close off emotions. Once aware of them, you can better manage responses.
Allowing Vulnerability
Let yourself feel, even if it seems scary or overwhelming at first. Start small sharing feelings with trusted friends.
Setting Boundaries
Protect yourself from toxic people and situations causing you to shut down. You have permission to limit interactions that deplete you.
Expressing Emotions
Talk, cry, sing, draw, move – find healthy ways to get emotions out of your body. Suppressed feelings won’t just disappear.
Trying New Activities
Do things that bring you joy and excitement. Movement, creating, playing, and laughing all help wake up emotional centers.
Adjusting Perspective
Work on negative self-talk demanding perfectionism or emotional restriction. Give yourself permission to have a full range of human experience.
When to Seek Help
If emotional shutdown is severely impacting your health and relationships with no signs of improvement, seek professional support. A doctor or mental health provider can assess if any underlying conditions are causing your numbed state. Medication or intensive therapy may be necessary to open back up.
Don’t hesitate to get help if emotional shutdown leads to:
– Suicidal thoughts
– Self-harm behaviors
– Panic attacks
– Thoughts of harming others
– Psychosis
– Substance abuse
– Inability to function at work or care for yourself
Support from loved ones, therapists, support groups, or treatment programs can help guide your healing process. With time and patience, you can find emotional freedom again.
Healthy Coping Skills for Emotions
As you awaken from emotional shutdown, utilizing healthy ways to process feelings prevents getting overwhelmed. Try incorporating these coping skills:
Talking to trusted friends and family
Confiding in loved ones helps you feel understood and supported. Choose relationships where you feel safe being vulnerable.
Joining a support group
Hearing from others experiencing similar challenges makes you feel less alone. Support groups build community.
Practicing relaxation techniques
Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, and mindfulness soothe emotional overwhelm so you can process feelings from a calmer state.
Exercising and moving your body
Release bottled up emotions and energy through activities like walking, dance, sports, or working out.
Writing in a journal
Jotting down thoughts and feelings provides an emotional release and clarity about yourself and situations.
Creative expression
Make music, paint, work with clay or create anything that helps you connect with your emotions through art.
Spending time in nature
The sights, sounds, and smells of the natural world have a restorative effect on frayed emotions.
Prioritizing rest and relaxation
Get enough sleep, take baths, reduce stressors – give your emotions room to breathe and replenish.
Seeking counseling or therapy
Mental health professionals provide tools to healthily feel, express and process difficult emotions in a judgement-free space.
Conclusion
Shutting down emotionally serves a protective purpose in the short term but creates disconnection and health issues if left unresolved. With courage and compassion towards yourself, you can undertake the journey back to feeling whole – deriving strength rather than weakness from embracing the breadth of human emotion. Supportive resources and loving community help make the process more manageable. Little by little, you can open back up in ways that transform past pain into present wisdom.