What does Quran say about husband and wife?

Marriage in Islam is an important institution that serves as the foundation for building families and raising the next generation of Muslims. The Quran and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provide extensive guidance on the rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives in Islam.

Table of Contents

Importance of Marriage in Islam

Marriage is highly encouraged in Islam and there are several verses in the Quran that emphasize its importance. Marriage is described as a means to attain spiritual, emotional, and physical fulfillment and as a sign of Allah’s blessings and favor. Some of the main reasons marriage is important in Islam include:

It provides companionship and comfort to both spouses
It enables procreation and the continuation of human life
It completes half of one’s faith

It protects from sin and moral corruption
It builds families which form the core of a stable society

Overall, marriage is seen as a religious duty and a social necessity in Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) strongly encouraged marriage for all those who have the means to undertake it.

Rights of Husbands in Islam

The Quran outlines several rights that husbands have in marriage. Some of the key rights include:

Being the head of the household: The husband has the responsibility of leading and guiding his family and making important decisions. The wife should consult him and obey him within the acceptable limits of Islam.
Being dutifully served by the wife: The wife should manage the household affairs and take care of her husband’s needs.

Being treated with respect: The wife should interact with the husband in a respectful and honorable manner, avoiding contempt, arguing or foul language.
The wife observing hijab: The wife should not reveal her adornments to non-mahram men and dress modestly outside the home.
The wife not fasting voluntarily without permission: The wife should not observe any non-obligatory fasts without the husband’s permission.

The wife not leaving the home without permission: The wife should not leave the home without the knowledge and consent of the husband.
The wife not allowing non-mahrams in the home: The wife should not allow strangers or men who are lawful to marry into the home without the husband’s permission.
The wife should protect his property and honor: The wife should safeguard her husband’s property, wealth, and reputation.

However, the husband should fulfill his wife’s rights and treat her with kindness and justice. The husband has no right to abuse or oppress his wife in Islam.

Rights of Wives in Islam

Islam also clearly defines the rights due to wives from their husbands. Some of the main rights include:

Receiving mahr (dowry): The husband is obliged to give a dowry to the wife which becomes her personal property.

Being treated with kindness: The husband should interact with the wife in a good and gentle manner, avoiding harshness or injury.
Being provided financial support (nafaqa): The husband is responsible for maintaining his wife and children by providing shelter, food, clothing, and other necessities.
Not being physically or verbally abused: The husband cannot abuse or mistreat his wife physically, emotionally, or verbally.

Being just between multiple wives: In cases of polygamy, the husband should treat all wives equally and justly in terms of time spent, expenses, housing, etc.
Ability to seek divorce if rights are not met: The wife can seek divorce if the husband fails to provide her basic rights and needs.
Keeping her secrets and privacy: The husband should respect the privacy of his wife and maintain her secrets.

Allowing her time with family and friends: The wife has a right to interact with her family and friends. The husband cannot enforce isolation upon her.
Allowing her to retain ownership of personal property: The wife’s own possessions, such as jewelry, land, etc. remain her legal property even after marriage.

Overall, the husband has a duty to fulfill his wife’s rights happily and create an environment of love and tranquility within the home.

Responsibilities of Husbands in Islam

Along with rights, husbands also have several responsibilities towards their wives according to Islamic teachings:

Providing financially for his family’s needs, such as food, clothing, and shelter.
Treating his wife with kindness, honor, and patience.

Not disclosing private family matters outside of the home.
Consummating the marriage and fulfilling his wife’s sexual needs.
Making fair decisions regarding all family members.

Spending quality time with his wife and not ignoring her.
Consulting his wife in family affairs and listening to her opinions.
Defending and protecting his wife’s honor and reputation.

Allowing her to visit her family and maintain relations.
Educating his wife in religious matters if she is deficient in knowledge.

Husbands who fulfill their responsibilities with care and wisdom will be rewarded by Allah. Those who neglect their duties may lose blessings in their marriage and family life.

Responsibilities of Wives in Islam

The Quran and Hadith also outline several responsibilities for wives towards their husband:

Being obedient and respectful to her husband within acceptable limits.
Managing household affairs, rearing children, and protecting the home.

Adorning herself attractively for her husband.
Being patient with her husband’s flaws.
Safeguarding her husband’s property and belongings.

Maintaining a positive relationship with her in-laws.
Protecting her husband’s secrets, honor, and reputation.
Refraining from unnecessary expenditure which may cause financial stress.

Seeking to please and satisfy her husband within moral limits.
Dealing with any co-wives justly and amicably if in a polygamous marriage.

Wives who fulfill these duties honestly earn great rewards from Allah. Those who are neglectful or ill-mannered earn condemnation and risk losing their husband’s love along with spiritual blessings.

Etiquettes of Marital Intimacy in Islam

Islam provides detailed guidance regarding intimacy between husbands and wives:

Muslims should behave modestly and seek intimacy only with their spouse, avoiding zina (fornication).
Foreplay, romance, and emotional closeness should precede physical intimacy.

Spouses should lovingly satisfy each other’s sexual needs.
Sexual intimacy should not occur during menstrual periods or periods of ritual purification.
Acts of intimacy should be done in private, avoiding the danger of being seen or heard by others.

Spouses should beautify themselves, wear clean clothes, and approach intimacy in a pleasant state.
Unnatural or extremely perverse sexual acts are forbidden.
Husbands should not approach their wives like animals, but with dignity and care.

Maintaining modesty and morality in intimacy will lead to blessings in the marriage. Spouses should discuss their needs openly within Islamic guidelines.

Seeking to Please One’s Spouse

There are various hadiths of the Prophet (PBUH) emphasizing the importance of husbands and wives seeking to please each other:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (At-Tirmidhi)

“Let the believing men care for and attend to the needs of their wives and let the believing women do likewise for their husbands.” (Bukhari)
“…then a man should treat his wife with kindness and love her, and the wife should obey her husband.” (Muslim)

Trying to satisfy one’s spouse leads to happier marriages. Spouses should communicate their needs, avoid selfishness, and make reasonable sacrifices to please each other.

Settling Marital Disputes in Islam

Disagreements and conflict can occur between couples, but Islam provides guidance on resolving disputes:

Spouses should control anger and be patient with each other’s imperfections.
Minor disputes can be resolved privately between couples with wisdom and humility.

In serious conflicts, intervention may be sought from elders, family members, or religious authorities.
Reconciliation should be attempted through kind words, empathy, and managing ego.
Temporary separation can calm tensions if need be.

Divorce is only permitted when reconciliation fails completely.

Seeking Allah’s mercy through prayer and supplication can help overcome marital challenges. Following Islamic guidelines facilitates dispute resolution and maintains the rights of both spouses.

Reasons for Polygamy in Islam

Islam permits a man to marry up to four wives under certain circumstances:

To support widows and orphans who have no means of sustenance after wars which lead to many women losing husbands.
To avoid illicit relationships and sexual exploitation of women when the gender balance favors women due to factors like warfare.
To equally deal with all wives when unable to maintain strict equality between co-wives.

To expand and strengthen the Muslim community by raising children in righteous households if a wife is barren.
To meet the varying needs of women at different stages and circumstances of life through different types of co-wives.

However, polygamy is only permitted when a man can treat all wives equally and justly. The Prophet (PBUH) advised it is best to marry only one wife if a man fears he cannot maintain justice between co-wives.

Etiquettes of Dealing with Co-Wives

For polygamous marriages, Islam provides guidelines for the husband and wives to facilitate harmony:

Co-wives should accept polygamy and be patient, avoiding jealousy.
The husband must demonstrate total impartiality and fairness between wives.

Each wife is entitled to her own private accommodation.
The husband’s time should be divided equally between wives.
No private information should be leaked between co-wives.

Co-wives should aid and advise each other amicably.
Disputes between co-wives must be peacefully resolved by the husband.
Co-wives may go together on pilgrimage and other religious deeds.

Following these guidelines can enable polygamous families to live together with minimal problems. However, monogamy is regarded as the general norm in Islam.

Prohibited Practices in Marriage

There are certain prohibited practices regarding marriage and relations between husband and wife in Islam:

A woman marrying more than one husband (polyandry).

Intimacy during menstruation.
Intercourse through the anus or during menstrual flow.
Forced relations between married couples.

Making a distressed wife’s life difficult by refusing intimacy.
A husband abandoning sexual relations for more than 4 months.
Women marrying themselves or arranging their own marriage contracts.

Interfaith marriages of Muslim women to non-Muslim men.
Temporary contractual marriages.
Domestic violence or abuse between spouses.

False accusations of adultery against a spouse without proof.

These prohibitions maintain the rights and sanctity of marriage. Spouses engaging in forbidden acts may face punishments in this life and the next.

Conclusion

In summary, the Quran and Hadith provide extensive guidance regarding the rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives in Islam. The proper upholding of marital duties in kindness facilitates love, tranquility and blessings within families. Islam expects spouses to seek righteous companionship, satisfy each other intimately, resolve disputes patiently and fulfill each other’s rights to gain Divine favor. Following these principles enables Muslims to establish happy homes and bring up the next generation to become responsible individuals who benefit the broader society.