Cupid, the Roman god of desire, love, and affection, is often depicted as a mischievous, winged child armed with a bow and arrows. The mythology around Cupid states that when his arrows strike a person, they immediately fall deeply in love with the first person they see. So what actually happens when Cupid hits you with one of his mystical arrows? Let’s explore the psychological, emotional, and physiological changes that occur.
Falling in Love Causes Major Changes in the Brain
Scientists have found that falling in love actually alters the chemistry of the brain in ways that can have profound effects on a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When Cupid’s arrow strikes, the brain begins releasing high levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. This leads to increased energy, focused attention, motivation, and goal-directed behaviors.
Dopamine in particular is associated with strong feelings of pleasure, desire, and reward. As this neurotransmitter surges when you fall in love, you feel highly motivated to win your new love and experience immense joy in their presence. Norepinephrine promotes alertness and helps create intense memories associated with the beloved. Meanwhile, decreases in serotonin lead to obsessive thinking and craving for emotional union.
Research utilizing functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) shows that when viewing a photo of a loved one, the parts of the brain linked to reward and pleasure light up. These include:
- Ventral tegmental area (VTA) – produces dopamine
- Caudate nucleus – integrates dopamine signals
- Nucleus accumbens – processes feelings of reward
Falling in love also deactivates areas associated with critical thinking, reasoning, and social judgment. This may explain why new love can cause you to overlook flaws and incompatible traits.
Impact on Hormones
Love causes hormonal changes as well. When struck by Cupid’s arrow, testosterone levels lower in both men and women. This reduces aggression and moderates risky behaviors. Estrogen rises in females, leading to increased feelings of closeness and protectiveness of a partner.
Another key hormone, oxytocin, floods the body during periods of falling in love. Often called the “love hormone,” oxytocin deepens feelings of attachment, promotes bonding, increases trust, and may play a role in the amorous effects of Cupid’s arrow.
Emotional and Psychological Impact
Along with the neurochemical changes love ignites in the brain, falling for someone also brings profound emotional and psychological effects. As the legendary sharpshooter Cupid hits his mark, you may experience common signs of new love such as:
- Intense focus and longing for the romantic interest
- Constant thoughts about and idealization of them
- Increased motivation and goal-directed activity to impress them
- Powerful feelings of euphoria when reciprocated
- Mood swings based on their behaviors
- Difficulty concentrating on anything but the beloved
- Loss of appetite
- Insomnia or restlessness
- Stress when apart from the romantic interest
You essentially feel “addicted” to your new love, craving their attention and physical presence. This intoxicating phase is when couples tend to spend every waking moment together immersed in conversation.
All your thoughts revolve around the person. You imagine your future together, what your kids may look like, and scenarios of wedded bliss. In the psychological throes of new love, you put them on a pedestal, minimizing their flaws.
The Rose-Colored Glasses Effect
This is what psychologists refer to as the “rose-colored glasses effect.” Like being shot by one of Cupid’s magical arrows, you see your new love interest in an unrealistic, overly positive manner. However, this magical thinking fades as the neurochemicals settle down. Feelings of pleasure and reward are replaced by sensations of calm and attachment. Then you view your partner realistically again - flaws and all.
Physical Symptoms of New Love
The emotional and neurological effects of new love translate into common physical symptoms as well. Here are some of the ways Cupid’s arrow may physically impact you:
- Dry mouth – Reduced saliva is a nervous reaction to your attraction.
- Flushed, red cheeks – Increased blood flow occurs with arousal.
- Clammy palms – Palms perspire under stress from interacting with your crush.
- Weak knees – When nervous, more blood goes to the brain, leaving other areas weak.
- Butterflies in the stomach – Stress and anticipation cause gastrointestinal changes.
- Difficulty sleeping – Thoughts of your beloved keep you awake.
- Racing heart – Seeing your love elevates heart rate and blood pressure.
- Loss of appetite – Your focus on romance distracts from eating.
These sensations are all common when two people are falling for each other. With the euphoria of new love comes intense anxiety about the relationship and fear of rejection. This manifests physically through nervous symptoms.
Impacts of Love on Immune Function
New romantic relationships may also affect immune system functioning, research shows. In the early months of a relationship, levels of cytokines, which promote inflammation, go up. This puts you at higher risk for illness. If the relationship remains happy and stable after one year, cytokine levels return to normal.
Broken hearts also carry immune system risks. Studies show that in the months after a breakup, heartbroken individuals have lower numbers of immune cells called leukocytes as well as poorer functioning of natural killer cells that fight viruses.
So Cupid’s arrows may boost inflammation at first but provide immune benefits if you end up in a fulfilling relationship.
How Long Do the Effects of Cupid’s Arrow Last?
The pleasurable effects of new love and bonding typically last between 6 months to 2 years. This is how long the “honeymoon phase” usually continues before fading to calmer, less euphoric companionate love. There are also gender differences in the duration of romantic passion.
In a 10-year study tracking German couples, anthropologist Helen Fisher found that for men, increased levels of testosterone and dopamine fell back to normal within 1 to 4 years. For women, high estrogen and oxytocin levels persisted at 4 to 7 years. This may explain why women tend to hang onto feelings of romantic attachment longer than men.
Regardless of gender, here is a timeline of how long Cupid’s feel-good effects may stick around before settling into steadier long-term love:
| Phase | Duration | Characteristics |
|---|---|---|
| Romantic obsession | 2-6 months | Constant intrusive thoughts about partner, intense emotional and physical highs, unrealistic idealization of partner |
| Passionate love | 6 months – 3 years | Strong feelings of longing and sexual desire, emotional rollercoaster, seeking closeness and intimacy |
| Stable love | 2 – 4+ years | Feelings of calm, security, and commitment, deeper knowledge of partner, more realistic perceptions, companionship |
During the initial intoxicating phase, you experience intense longing, desire, and preoccupation with your partner. This evolves into steadier feelings of intimate attachment and contentment.
Factors That Prolong Effects of Falling in Love
Certain factors help prolong the pleasurable effects of new love over the long-term. These include:
- Consistent, rewarding intimacy
- Ongoing meaningful communication
- Sharing novel, exciting experiences together
- Supporting each other’s goals and growth
- Compromise, forgiveness, and conflict resolution
- Shared values and interests
- Laughing and enjoying each other’s company
Relationships that continue providing positive reinforcement can help reboot the mood-boosting chemicals of early romance again and again over decades.
Is Love at First Sight Real?
There is heated debate around whether “love at first sight” actually exists or is just a romantic notion. Science shows it is possible to immediately feel a profound sense of attraction and connection with someone upon first meeting them.
Studies using fMRI scans reveal that the brain areas linked to reward and pleasure lighting up when seeing faces we find attractive. We intuitively judge facial symmetry, expressions, and pheromones to be drawn romantically to some people right away.
However, researchers suggest what we perceive as “love at first sight” is more of instant infatuation and physical longing rather than long-term attachment love. This immediate, intense desire is driven by testosterone and estrogen.
True companionate love and deep intimacy take time to cultivate through shared experiences, communication, attachment behaviors, and emotional bonding.
Is It Lust or Love?
How can you tell if your feelings stem from instant lust versus genuine connection?
- Lust is primarily physical/sexual attraction.
- Love involves care, closeness, commitment.
- Lust is fleeting, love endures and deepens.
- Lust focuses on pleasure and chemistry.
- Love encompasses your whole self – mind, body, spirit.
While lust may be mistaken for love at first, true love grows mutually over time. Cupid’s arrows cannot instantly create the intimacy, trust, and partnership of lasting love.
How Many Times Can Cupid Strike?
Cupid’s arrows are not limited to hitting you once. Every time you fall head over heels for someone new, the intoxicating neurochemical and emotional effects start up again. This allows you to go through the euphoria of early romance multiple times in life.
According to Fisher’s research, the average person will fall deeply in love approximately seven times over their lifetime. However, each new romance differs. With some partners, that initial passion fades quickly. With others, it can transform into companionate love that withstands the test of time.
Also, Cupid’s arrows impact everyone differently based on individual personalities, attachment styles, and the depth of a connection. Here are a few key factors:
- Personality – Extroverts prone to thrill-seeking appear to fall in and out of love faster than cautious introverts.
- Attachment style – Those with secure attachment embrace relationships fully. Avoidants distance themselves.
- Prior experiences – Past long-term relationships make it harder to idealize new partners.
- Age – Teens and young adults tend to have shorter-lived passionate love.
While age, experience, and personalities temper the effects of Cupid’s arrows to some degree, humans never lose the capacity for new love. Each relationship shapes who you are, but your ability to connect deeply remains.
Conclusion
When the mythical Cupid strikes with one of his love-inducing arrows, it ignites an intoxicating neurochemical and hormonal cocktail within his target. Falling in love causes profound brain activity changes and euphoric highs. It impacts your moods, immune function, goals, energy, focus, and perception of a romantic partner.
This passionate, obsessive phase lasts between 6 months to 3 years typically before mellowing into stable, content love. However, the initial rush of new love can be rekindled again and again with the “right” partner. By understanding the science behind Cupid’s arrows, you can better navigate the joys and sorrows of romantic relationships.