Repressed emotions refer to feelings that are buried or kept out of conscious awareness. This often happens because the emotions are too painful or distressing to deal with directly. Repression is considered a defense mechanism, as it allows people to function without being overwhelmed by these difficult feelings. However, repressed emotions don’t just disappear. They continue to influence thoughts and behaviors unconsciously. Eventually, repressed emotions will try to resurface, often in indirect ways. Understanding what can happen when repressed emotions begin to emerge is important for managing this challenging process.
Why do people repress emotions?
There are several common reasons people repress emotions:
– The feelings are too painful or upsetting to confront directly. This may be due to trauma, loss, anxiety, shame, or other distressing situations.
– There are fears about how openly expressing the emotions could affect relationships or social standing. Anger, jealousy, and other “negative” feelings may be seen as unacceptable.
– Cultural or family norms discourage expressing vulnerable emotions like sadness, grief, or fear. The person learns early on to keep these feelings private.
– Expressing the emotions does not feel safe. If previous emotional displays were punished, invalidated, or met with indifference, a person may turn to repression as a coping strategy.
– Holding back emotions can temporarily allow people to focus on responsibilities and daily functioning without feeling overwhelmed. However, this avoidant strategy cannot work long term.
How do repressed emotions resurface?
Even though repressed emotions are not in conscious awareness, they still influence thoughts and actions. Efforts to suppress these feelings take mental energy. People may think they have “moved on” from painful events or rejections when the feelings have only been buried.
Common signs that repressed emotions are starting to surface include:
– Nightmares, fears, or flashbacks related to past trauma
– Angry outbursts or overreactions to small upsets
– Anxiety, agitation, or a sense of dread without clear cause
– Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from others
– Unexplained fatigue, body aches, or other stress symptoms
– Worrying excessively about health or loved ones
– Indulging in unhealthy habits like overeating, substance abuse, or other addictions
– Ongoing relationship conflict
– Difficulty relaxing or resting
As repressed feelings try to break through, they may initially be expressed through indirect physical or emotional symptoms. Left unaddressed, the emerging emotions gain power and can lead to destructive behaviors or chronic mental health problems.
What are common repressed emotions?
While any emotion can potentially be repressed, the most common include:
Anger
Unexpressed anger may be directed inward in the form of depression and self-criticism. Alternately, it can explode in hurtful outbursts once the pressure builds too much. Repressed anger often relates to resentment over past betrayals or injustice.
Grief
Grieving is necessary after loss. By avoiding this pain, people rob themselves of fully working through and integrating the experience. Unresolved grief can resurface through anxiety, clinging behaviors, sadness, or a sense of meaninglessness.
Shame
Shame involves feeling fundamentally flawed, inferior, or unlovable. Repressing shame can lead to desperate attempts to prove self-worth or lack of empathy for others’ suffering. Recognizing shame allows self-acceptance.
Fear
Burying fearful emotions requires massive energy. Anxiety or avoidant behaviors can signal that fears are leaking out. Paying attention to fears, rather than repressing them, allows assessing real threats.
Guilt
Suppressed guilt often transforms into resentment, perfectionism, or self-punishment. Processing guilt in healthy ways helps learning from mistakes without condemnation. Forgiveness can then occur.
Vulnerable emotions
Feelings like sadness, grief, loneliness, dependence, despair, or hopelessness may feel intolerable. But avoiding vulnerability prevents intimacy in relationships and fosters isolation.
When repressed emotions start surfacing, how can you process them?
Here are some healthy strategies for dealing with emerging repressed emotions:
– Go slowly to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Focus on tolerating and understanding the feelings rather than immediately trying to “fix” or act on them.
– Consider individual or group therapy as a safe place to unpack emotions at your own pace. A skilled professional can help guide this challenging process.
– Look for root causes through journaling, art, talking to supportive friends. Exploring where suppressed emotions originate brings insight.
– Release tension carefully through exercise, yoga, singing, creative pursuits. Moving the energy little by little prevents explosions down the road.
– Strengthen coping capacities with self-care basics: proper sleep, nutrition, leisure time, relaxing activities. You’ll have more reserves to handle surfacing feelings.
– Set boundaries around how much you share with others. Well-meaning loved ones may not grasp the situation or your needs. Protect yourself and your healing process.
– Expect ups and downs rather than a straight path. Emotional health is not linear. Be patient and caring toward yourself above all.
Get professional help
If you feel overwhelmed by the intensity of resurfacing emotions or find yourself engaging in unhealthy behaviors, seek help without delay. A licensed therapist can assist with:
– Processing memories or experiences too painful to confront alone
– Navigating intense periods of grief, anger, shame, fear, despair
– Developing skills to express emotions safely and constructively
– Improving distress tolerance and self-soothing abilities
– Making meaning out of painful events
– Preventing self-harm behaviors and addiction issues
– Healing from trauma
– Resolving unfinished emotional business with loved ones
– Finding purpose and post-traumatic growth after adversity
You do not have to journey through intense emotional times alone. Guidance tailored to your needs empowers facing the past in ways that encourage growth. There are always reasons for hope, no matter how deeply feelings have been buried.
What are signs that someone is repressing emotions?
It’s not always easy to recognize repressed emotions in yourself or others. Here are some common signs of unresolved feelings being buried:
– Quickness to anger or frequent irritability and moodiness
– Lack of emotional expression and restricted range of feelings
– Seeming indifferent to praise, criticism, or emotional events
– Discomfort expressing vulnerable emotions like affection, sadness, fear
– Detachment from relationships and discomfort with intimacy
– Perfectionistic tendencies; acting “fine” despite stress
– Somatization with unexplained physical complaints
– Avoidance of places, objects, conversations related to past trauma
– Memory gaps around painful events or emotions
– Feeling unsettled after long periods of outward calmness
– Using work, exercise, volunteering as distractions from emotional issues
– Reliance on denial and statements like “I’m over it” without processing
– Self-medicating anxiety or depression with substances
– Acting out through reckless behaviors
– Difficulty relaxing fully or letting down emotional guard
Those who minimize traumatic events or losses or insist all is well despite contrarian signs may be stuck repressing unresolved pain. Approaching the issue compassionately allows supporting healing.
Positive benefits of facing repressed emotions
While exposing buried feelings brings short term discomfort, the long term benefits make doing so worthwhile. Potential gains include:
– Improved mental health as lingering depression, anxiety, anger resolve
– Greater self-awareness and ability to name feelings; less emotional numbness
– Relief from chronic muscle tension and stress-related bodily complaints
– Healthier relationships due to reduced reactivity and intimacy avoidance
– Increased self-confidence and sense of agency to constructively handle challenges
– Ability to grieve losses fully and complete unfinished emotional business
– Insight into destructive patterns allowing their correction
– Breaking unhealthy behavioral cycles like self-harm or addiction
– Feeling empowered through mastering past pain rather than remaining its victim
– Emerging vulnerability and openness to deeper human connections
– Finding meaning by integrating adverse experiences into a coherent life narrative
By bravely confronting longtime suppressed emotions, you ultimately reclaim your wholeness, strengths, and sense of inner peace. This hard work has profoundly healing and redeeming effects extending into all aspects of life. You take back your power to live with authenticity, clarity, and purpose.
Does suppressing emotions cause health problems?
Yes, continually burying difficult emotions undermines both physical and mental health. Suppressed feelings still create stress responses in the body, even if not consciously felt. Having no outlet leads to chronic inflammation that can cause:
– Impaired immune system functioning, frequent colds/flu
– Cardiovascular strain, hypertension, increased stroke risk
– Stomach issues like ulcers, digestive problems
– Tension headaches and backaches
– Insomnia and other sleep disturbances
– Decreased energy and fatigue
– Accelerated aging and cellular damage
Without a healthy emotional release valve, the trapped feelings pressure keeps building internally. This leads to greater risks of:
– Clinical depression and anxiety disorders
– Obsessive thinking or compulsive behaviors
– Self-medication with potentially addictive substances
– Eating disorders
– Post-traumatic stress disorder
– Self-harm behaviors
– Severe anger control problems, domestic abuse
– Psychosomatic symptoms
– Conversion disorder with inexplicable neurological deficits
– Suicidal ideation in extreme cases
Studies have consistently demonstrated how suppressing negative emotions contributes significantly to both poor physical and mental health over time. Bringing buried feelings into the light is essential for restoring wholeness and well-being.
What happens when emotions are repressed for too long?
Repressing distressing emotions can only work temporarily. If painful feelings remain buried too long, they will intensify and eventually force their way to the surface through an emotional breakthrough or collapse. Potential consequences of excessive repression include:
– Powerful nightmares and flashbacks as the psyche tries to express itself
– Panic attacks, inability to concentrate, and dissociative symptoms
– A depressive or anxious breakdown as unwelcome thoughts invade
– Psychosomatic symptoms affecting every body system
– Lashing out in uncontrolled rage after too much provocation
– Turning to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, shopping, gambling or other compulsive behaviors to find relief
– Personality changes like emotional numbness or excessive caretaking to overcompensate
-Relationship conflicts as buried anger and fear damage intimacy
– Obsessive overthinking or compulsive rituals that cannot be stopped
– A complete emotional shutdown or nervous breakdown
– Self-harm behaviors or suicidal tendencies in extreme cases
Time does not heal all wounds when emotions remain unprocessed. The more energy required to “keep the lid on,” the greater the eventual explosion when repression fails. Seeking professional counseling to address buried feelings in safe, gradual ways is vitally important before they erupt and cause harm to health and relationships. Our emotions must be expressed in order to heal.
How can you help a loved one who is repressing emotions?
If you suspect a family member or friend is burying painful emotions, address this sensitively by:
– Inviting them to open up but not forcing or cornering them
– Speaking non-judgmentally about any behavioral changes you’ve noticed
– Asking how you can best support them in this challenging time
– Recommending counseling to help explore difficult feelings safely
– Sharing your observations without accusation or criticism
– Avoiding attempts to minimize their feelings or rush the process
– Providing reassurance that you’ll be there regardless of the emotions involved
– Expressing concerns over health impacts of unresolved pain
– Asking how past experiences still affect them today
– Modeling comfortable handling of your own vulnerable emotions
– Suggesting self-care practices like journaling, exercise, creative arts
– Not taking negative reactions personally
– Letting them know help and hope are available
The goal is to gently encourage authentic expression in a non-threatening way. Also, get outside support for yourself in coping with their repressed emotions spilling over at times. Avoid burnout by setting healthy boundaries with someone resistant to addressing buried pain.
Conclusion
Dealing with emerging repressed emotions requires courage, self-honesty, persistence, and caring support. The journey can feel overwhelming at times. However, the effort leads to reclaiming your whole self and complete healing. Bringing painful feelings out of the darkness and into the light honours the truth of your experiences. This enables moving forward unburdened by past wounds and free to fully experience each moment. You deserve to live with joy and emotional authenticity. The more we face our repressed feelings, the more fully human we all become. There are always deeper levels of healing awaiting if you find the strength to seek them.