Marriage is a legally, emotionally, and spiritually binding partnership between two people who commit to sharing their lives together. While the traditional idea of marriage was between a man and a woman, today marriage equality allows same-sex couples to also form this special bond. When two people marry, they become partners in life in many ways.
Being a life partner
At its core, marriage makes you and your spouse life partners. This means you plan to spend your lives together, share your hopes and dreams, build a home, and form a family if you choose. Becoming life partners is an intentional commitment to face life’s joys and hardships together, support each other’s growth and dreams, and nurture a deep friendship and intimacy.
Life partnerships take work, compromise, and communication to maintain. Each partner must make the other a priority and be willing to put the relationship first at times. Marriage counselors often recommend couples view their marriage as a third entity that requires care and attention to thrive. As life partners, you and your spouse need to nurture your connection by spending quality time together, showing affection, supporting each other’s interests, and expressing appreciation.
Being romantic partners
In most marriages, spouses are also romantic partners. This means you share an intimate, physically affectionate bond. Romance includes gestures like thoughtful gifts, planned date nights, loving notes and texts, hugs, passionate kisses, flirtation, hand-holding, and sexual intimacy. Maintaining romantic chemistry over the decades requires creativity, playfulness, empathy, open communication about your needs, and devoted time to be a couple outside of your parental and work responsibilities.
Partners should strive to keep the romance alive through all phases of marriage – during child-rearing busy years, empty nest transitions, retirement, and beyond. Make the effort to dress up for date nights, get away for weekends sans kids, try new experiences together, and devote time to simply talking and cuddling. Mutual romantic satisfaction promotes happiness in marriage.
Being financial partners
Spouses also become financial partners. This involves making joint decisions about money management, savings goals, investments, retirement planning, large purchases, and handling debt. While some couples choose to keep separate accounts, most pool resources in shared accounts and budget together. This requires transparency, agreeing on financial priorities, and consulting your partner for significant spending. Financial intimacy is key for security and reducing money arguments that commonly plague marriages.
As financial partners, couples need to discuss their individual attitudes about money and debt. Find common ground regarding saving versus spending and short term versus long term goals. Budget together and agree on categories for household spending, discretionary purchases, emergency savings, retirement, college funds, etc. Consult about large purchases and aim for mutual consent. Share financial details like income, debts, assets, credit, and investments.
Tips for strong financial partnership
- Communicate regularly about finances – budget meetings, spending check-ins
- Aim for mutual agreement on large purchases and financial priorities
- Consult each other before spending more than $100 (or agreed amount)
- Maintain transparency about income, debts, credit, and assets
- Work together on retirement planning and savings goals
- Discuss attitudes about spending versus saving
- Commit to reducing and avoiding debts together
- Never hide financial details or purchases from your partner
Being parenting partners
For couples who have or adopt children, becoming parenting partners is a crucial aspect of marriage. This involves making joint decisions about how to raise your children and coordinate responsibilities like:
| Parenting Responsibilities | Examples |
|---|---|
| Child care | Scheduling, drop-offs, pick-ups, sick days, appointments |
| Education | Choosing schools, helping with homework, parent-teacher meetings |
| Nutrition | Planning meals, grocery shopping, cooking |
| Hygiene | Bathing, hair, nails, dental care |
| Medical Care | Check-ups, illnesses, medications, insurance |
| Enrichment | Clubs, sports, summer activities, travel |
| Safety | Baby-proofing, car seats, bike helmets, monitoring |
| Discipline | Expectations, approaches, consequences, rewards |
| Life Skills | Chores, finances, cooking, self-care as age appropriate |
Parenting partnerships thrive through regular communication, agreeing on values and approaches, dividing duties, and being united. Always present a united front to your children, even if you disagree privately on the approach. Shared parenting creates security, consistency, and harmony for kids.
Being domestic partners
Running an efficient household also requires teamwork. Domestic partnership means dividing chores and responsibilities related to your home. Tasks may include:
- Cleaning – surfaces, bathrooms, floors, laundry
- Cooking – planning, grocery shopping, preparing meals
- Yardwork – lawn, landscaping, snow removal
- Home maintenance – repairs, improvements, hiring contractors
- Pet care – feeding, exercising, cleaning litter, vet appointments
- Organization – managing clutter, bills, paperwork, calendars, supplies
- Driving family members to activities and appointments
Couples should aim for an equitable division of domestic work based on skills, preferences, and schedules. Splitting chores eliminates resentment over one partner carrying an unequal burden. Maintain open communication about household needs and who will handle what. Renegotiate as circumstances change. Hiring help is wise if finances allow.
Being supportive partners
In addition to daily practical support, marriages thrive when spouses provide emotional support during difficult times. This includes:
- Comforting each other through grief over lost loved ones
- Encouraging each other during career challenges
- Supporting each other through health problems or injuries
- Being present during medical procedures and hospital stays
- Providing care during illness or recovery from surgery
- Listening patiently during mental health struggles or times of depression
- Affirming each other through body image issues or aging concerns
- Validating each other when family relations are difficult
Part of lifelong commitment is vowing to be present during each other’s highs and lows. Avoid dismissing your partner’s pain or hardship. Offer tangible help in times of high stress. Upholding your vow to comfort “in sickness and health” promotes resilience.
Being trustworthy, loyal partners
For marriage to thrive, spouses must demonstrate unwavering commitment and complete trust in each other. This means:
- Making your marriage relationship the top priority over all other bonds
- Protecting your spouse’s confidence by not sharing private matters
- Defending your partner to family members or friends if needed
- Cutting ties with any friend who disrespects your marriage
- Avoiding bonds or behaviors that undermine trust
- Showing loyalty even when your spouse makes mistakes
- Believing the best about your partner’s motives and character
- Choosing to trust until proven otherwise
Loyalty provides security that allows vulnerability, interdependence and deepening intimacy over time. Make promises carefully and keep them faithfully. Follow through reliably on obligations both large and small.
Being intimate partners
Physical intimacy through affectionate touch, words, and sex is important for bonding and pleasure in marriage. However, couples also need intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy to thrive. This means:
- Sharing ideas, interests, and personal growth together
- Confiding hopes, fears, and vulnerabilities with each other
- Praying together if you share religious faith
- Expressing loving words and gratitude regularly
- Giving your full presence and focus when together
- Listening without judgement or distractions
- Empathizing with each other’s experiences
- Creating an environment of safety and respect
Intimacy requires letting down guard to reveal your genuine self. It means allowing your partner to truly know you at the core. This level of openness and affirmation leads to secure attachment. Prioritize all forms of intimacy through daily gestures, shared activities, and devoted time focusing on each other.
Being fun partners
While marriages involve serious grown-up responsibilities, don’t forget to be playful and adventurous together. Look for ways to add fun to life such as:
- Lighthearted teasing and laughter together
- Silly nicknames and inside jokes
- Trying new restaurants, sports, hobbies together
- Traveling to new places and making memories
- Dancing together – in kitchen, parties, weddings
- Playing games and being competitive in a friendly way
- Pursuing outdoor adventures like hiking, skiing, or snorkeling
- Going on thrilling rides at amusement parks
- Attending concerts, festivals, parades together
- Letting loose at karaoke nights or bowling
Making leisure time to play and be spontaneous balances life’s demands. It keeps your marriage lively and youthful. Shared fun activities also create bonding moments that strengthen your connection.
Conclusion
In summary, marriage partners support each other in facing all of life’s ups and downs. They create an intimate haven and productive team. Being partners means collaborating on finances, parenting, household duties, life dreams, and relationships. It also involves nurturing physical and emotional intimacy, admiration, trust, romance, and playfulness. Embrace each role wholeheartedly.