Love you number refers to the number of times you tell your romantic partner that you love them. This phrase and concept have become popular in recent years, especially among younger couples. The idea is that you have a specific number of times per day or week that you make sure to tell your partner “I love you”. This helps to keep the romance alive and ensures that your partner feels appreciated and cared for. Some couples turn it into a game and try to one-up each other by increasing their love you number. Overall, the trend seems to be connected to greater efforts among couples today to actively “work” on their relationship and nurture their bond through words and actions.
What is the origin of the love you number concept?
The exact origins of the love you number idea are unclear, but it appears to have become popularized largely through social media. Some trace it back to relationship listicles that advised couples to make sure they express their love verbally a certain number of times per day. The concept likely resonated with many people and spread organically, especially among younger demographics who are very active on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. As the idea spread, more and more couples began consciously adopting love you number goals as part of efforts to strengthen their bond and affection. It has now become a recognizable relationship trend and meme, with people joking about how high they can push their love you number each day.
Why do people find value in having a love you number?
There are several key reasons why maintaining a love you number is appealing for many couples:
It provides a tangible way to nurture the relationship
Setting a love you number gives couples an easy, measurable way to put effort into the relationship. Hitting the number becomes a relationship “chore” just like any other, something they can check off their list. This makes the nurturing more conscious and deliberate.
It promotes expressing affection regularly
Reaching a love you number means partners will express their affection at least a certain amount each day/week. This helps counteract tendencies to take the relationship for granted. The regular affection can make partners feel more appreciated.
It sparks playfulness/competitiveness
Trying to one-up each other on love you numbers injects some fun and bonding competition into the relationship. Partners want to express their love more to beat the other’s number.
It indicates partner is thinking of you
Hitting a high love you number shows that you are thinking of your partner throughout the day. This feeling of being thought of and cared for is validating.
It provides relationship security
Hearing “I love you” regularly can provide reassurance of the partner’s feelings. This strengthens the relationship.
What are common love you numbers that couples use?
There is a wide range of love you number goals that different couples may adopt. Some common examples include:
– 10 times a day
– 15 times a day
– 20 times a day
– 30 times a day
– 50 times a day
– 100 times a day
– Once per hour during waking hours
– Twice per hour during waking hours
Generally, couples seem to range between 10-50 times a day for average love you number goals. Some may go higher than that for special occasions or as part of a competition. Couples likely choose numbers based on what feels achievable but still requires consistent effort.
What methods do people use to hit their love you number?
Reaching a high love you number can take creativity and effort. Here are some common techniques couples use:
Texting/calling throughout the day
Partners can text or call each other love you messages multiple times a day. This allows them to incorporate the messages into normal communication.
Sticky notes around the house
Some couples leave love you notes for their partner to find around the house. This spreads the love across the entire day.
Saying it each time they part ways
Making it a habit to say I love you each time they leave for work or separate to run errands ensures regular expressions of affection.
Integrating it into activities
Weaving the phrase into activities like cooking dinner or watching a movie makes reaching high numbers feel natural.
Saying it when passing by each other
Simply telling your partner you love them in passing while at home together is an easy way to boost numbers.
Morning and night rituals
Bookending the day with love yous when waking up and going to bed provides a baseline number to build on.
Affectionate nicknames
Using terms like “love” or “dear” in nicknames implies love while also counting toward the number.
What are the benefits of trying to increase your love you number?
There are a variety of potential benefits that couples may experience by consciously working to increase their daily/weekly love you number:
- Increased feelings of intimacy and connection
- More expressions of affection and appreciation
- A deeper sense of security and reassurance in the relationship
- More frequent reminders of their commitment and attraction to each other
- A boost to their overall happiness and positivity from expressing more love
- Fun and excitement from turning it into a competition
- A greater likelihood of sustaining the “honeymoon phase”
- Potentially less chances of taking each other for granted
- Strengthening of the relationship bond overall
The more love expressed between partners, the stronger their relationship foundation typically becomes. Setting a baseline number helps ensure this happens consistently.
Are there any downsides to focusing on love you numbers?
While the love you number trend offers many benefits, there are a few potential downsides couples should keep in mind as well:
It could feel forced at times
Trying to reach high numbers may result in some expressions of love feeling contrived or forced rather than spontaneous. Partners should say it genuinely rather than out of obligation.
It can breed competition
Turning it into a competition can inject unnecessary tension or stress into the relationship if partners take it too seriously. The focus should remain on affection.
Neglecting other aspects of the relationship
Couples shouldn’t rely only on love you numbers to sustain the relationship. They need to nurture the relationship in other ways too.
The meaning could become diluted
When expressed extremely often, the meaning behind “I love you” could get watered down a bit. Partners should try to keep the sentiments genuine.
May cause conflict if numbers aren’t met
If one partner consistently fails to meet the agreed upon number, it could cause strain. Couples should give grace when life gets in the way.
What are fun and creative ways to increase your love you number?
Here are some fun, creative ideas to mix things up while striving for higher love you numbers:
- Write it on the mirror in dry erase marker for them to see
- Send a singing telegram at work proclaiming your love
- Write notes on index cards and hide them around the house
- Rent a billboard proclaiming your love
- Write it in lipstick on the bathroom mirror
- Get skywriting saying “I love you”
- Program it into a romantic playlist of songs
- Write it on sticky notes and stick them all over their car
- Graffiti it on a wall (legally!)
- Place signs with it in your front yard
- Paint it on canvas and display it
- Project it at night onto a wall/ceiling
These over-the-top expressions can inject playfulness and spark added connection. But simple consistent expressions each day often work best long-term.
How can you turn increasing love you numbers into a fun challenge as a couple?
Here are some ways to gamify love you numbers and make it a fun relationship challenge:
- Set weekly or monthly number goals and track them
- Give small rewards for hitting certain milestones
- Create point systems for different ways of expressing love
- Make weekly dates out of brainstorming new ideas
- Write the numbers on a chalkboard or whiteboard
- Create love coupons to trade in for fancy dates
- See if you can sync your schedules for hourly love messages
- Text or Snapchat running day totals to each other
- Give each other code names centered around love
- Make it into a bonding drinking game
The key is to add elements of fun, tracking, rewards, and competition without losing sincerity. Find ways to blend enjoyment with true expressions of adoration between partners.
What are some tips for realistically increasing your love you number each day?
Here are some helpful tips for realistically working up to higher love you numbers in authentic ways:
- Start slow and increase gradually so it feels natural
- Work it into your existing routine seamlessly
- Sync up your schedules to find times it can work for both
- Attach it to triggers like leaving, arriving, or taking medications
- Utilize technology like messaging to automate some
- Split up who initiates each time so it’s even
- Set reminders to ensure you remember to do it
- Make sure both partners are equally committed
- Don’t feel pressured if you miss a few times
- Focus on quality not quantity
The keys are integrate it into your flow, leverage tools, and employ reminders. But don’t let the numbers outweigh the meaning and purpose.
What are fun, unique dates you can plan centered around love you numbers?
Some date night ideas to playfully theme around love you numbers:
- A scavenger hunt where each clue leads to a reason you love them
- Cooking dinner together while taking turns expressing love between steps
- Roller skating while holding hands and saying it on each lap
- Picnicking in the park and reading loving poems to each other
- Going dancing and expressing love between songs
- Karaoke night where you sing love songs to each other
- Painting canvases with 50 reasons you love them
- A pottery class where you craft mugs or plates with love quotes
- Volunteering together at a charity representing what you love about them
- Playing mini golf and saying it before each putt
Any activity infused with extra expressions of love works perfectly for upping your numbers. Get creative in building affection into all your quality time together.
What are some romantic gestures to increase love you numbers for a partner?
Here are some romantic gestures to show extra love:
- Send flowers to their work for all to see
- Coordinate with coworkers to surprise them with love notes at their desk
- Create a huge poster board filled with loving photos of you
- Recreate your first date at the original location
- Orchestrate a flash mob to perform a love song
- Make a book instructing them to open to a page for each time you want to say it
- Write it in the sand at your special beach spot
- Project it onto their bedroom wall before bed
- Rent a jumbotron or billboard to announce your love publicly
- Buy a star and name it after them or your couple name
- Arrange for skywriting of your love on a sunny day
Big public displays of affection can help creatively increase numbers while also wowing your partner.
How can you learn to express love verbally more often when you are not naturally verbal?
For those less prone to verbal expressions of love, here are tips to say it more:
- Add reminders in your planner/phone to say it at certain times each day
- Ask your partner to initiate sometimes so you can reciprocate
- Send affectionate texts if verbal communication is difficult
- Write letters explaining all the reasons you love them
- Turn it into a daily ritual such as when you wake up, go to bed, or leave the house
- Keep written checklists of times you want to say it as reminders
- Make use of notes, signs, and posters to display the words
- Incorporate it into your email signature or social media bios
- Set alerts on your watch or phone to vibrate as a reminder
- Consider counseling or workshops on communication if severe difficulties expressing emotion
With concerted effort and creativity, expressing love verbally more often can become easier and natural.
Conclusion
Having a consistent love you number to reach out to your partner can enrich any romantic relationship and deepen intimacy. It provides a tangible target while also pushing couples to go out of their way in expressing affection. However, partners should be playful and genuine in their efforts, without undermining the meaning behind “I love you”. In practice, love you numbers seem to offer more benefits than drawbacks. With the right balance and perspective, upping your number can become a healthy relationship habit that brings you closer together.