The first few weeks of breastfeeding can be challenging for new mothers. While breastfeeding gets easier with time and experience, there are often certain days that stand out as particularly difficult. So when is the hardest day of breastfeeding?
The hardest day is different for every mother. For some, it may be the first day home from the hospital when breastfeeding is still new. For others, it could be when milk supply regulates around 2-6 weeks and babies experience a growth spurt. Many moms struggle when returning to work and adjusting to pumping. Whatever the individual challenge, most moms agree that breastfeeding has high and low points in the early days.
Why Are the Early Days of Breastfeeding Challenging?
Breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn’t mean it always comes easy. Here are some common reasons the early days can be so difficult:
Sore Nipples
It takes time for nipples to toughen up and get used to a baby latching and sucking. Sore, cracked, or bleeding nipples are very common in the first week. While pain typically improves with a proper latch, it can make early feedings excruciating.
Latching Difficulties
Getting a good latch takes practice for both mom and baby. Many newborns struggle to latch properly in the beginning. A shallow latch can cause nipple pain and make it harder for the baby to transfer milk effectively.
Engorgement
Two to six days after delivery, a mother’s breasts become engorged as her milk comes in. This causes swelling, firmness, and sometimes throbbing pain. It can make latching difficult until the engorgement subsides.
Exhaustion
Recovering from childbirth combined with round-the-clock breastfeeding is physically and mentally draining. Mothers are often running on little sleep, which can affect milk supply and make every feeding session tougher.
Concerns About Milk Supply
Many mothers worry about their milk supply in the early weeks. It’s difficult to know how much milk the baby is getting while breastfeeding. Infrequent wet diapers or excessive cluster feeding may be signs of an issue.
Nipple Confusion
Some babies may get confused and frustrated going back and forth between bottle feeding and breastfeeding. They may resist latching properly onto the breast.
Stress and Emotions
Postpartum hormones, lack of sleep, pain, and the pressures of parenting can take an emotional toll. Stress can interfere with the let-down reflex and milk supply.
When Does it Get Easier?
For most mothers, breastfeeding starts feeling more natural and manageable around weeks 4-6. It takes some time for both mom and baby to establish a good breastfeeding rhythm. Here’s a general timeline of what to expect:
Week 1
The first week after delivery is survival mode. With the hormone crash, postpartum bleeding, soreness, and exhaustion, just trying to get through initial feedings is an accomplishment. Having support from a partner, friend or lactation consultant is extremely helpful during this time.
Weeks 2-3
During weeks 2-3, breastfeeding should start getting less painful as nipples toughen up. Babies become more awake and efficient at feeding. As engorgement subsides, it becomes easier to get a good latch. Mom and baby are learning each other’s cues.
Weeks 4-6
Around weeks 4-6, most moms have established a good milk supply and overcome most early challenges. Feedings feel like second nature both for mom and baby. Many babies will go through a growth spurt during this time and cluster feed more frequently.
2 Months+
After the 2 month mark, breastfeeding is no longer considered “early”. Mom and baby have settled into a comfortable routine. Feeding sessions are quick and pain-free. The risk for issues like mastitis, plugged ducts, and nipple confusion decreases.
Which Day is Truly the Hardest?
The most difficult day depends on the individual mother’s experience. However, there are some stand-out days that commonly emerge:
Day 3
For many moms, day 3 after delivery (or day 2 at home) is the hardest. This is typically when milk comes in and breasts become engorged and painful. Mom and baby are still learning how to latch properly. The hormone crash leads to what’s often called the “day 3 blues.”
Growth Spurts
Growth spurts can happen between 2-6 weeks, 6 weeks, and 3 months. Baby will cluster feed frequently, be more fussy, and mom’s breasts may become engorged again. It’s exhausting surviving the marathon feeding sessions.
Going Back to Work
Returning to work brings a whole new set of challenges. Pumping breast milk requires extra effort and time. Babies may struggle with bottle refusal. Schedules and routines suddenly change.
| Phase | Timeframe | Common Challenges |
|---|---|---|
| Initial Days at Home | First 1-2 weeks | Sore nipples, engorgement, learning latch, sleep deprivation, worry about supply |
| Building a Routine | 2-6 weeks | Cluster feeding, growth spurts, nipple confusion, regulating supply |
| Approaching Normal | 6 weeks – 3 months | Less pain, quicker feeds, getting more rest, predicting needs |
| Beyond Survival Mode | After 3 months | Comfortable routine, easier pumping, reduced risk of issues |
Tips to Get Through the Hardest Days
Here are some tips to survive those extra difficult breastfeeding days:
Ask for Help
Don’t try to power through alone, especially with a newborn. Seek help from a lactation consultant, nurses, doulas, and friends with breastfeeding experience.
Nurse Laid Back
Laid back or reclined nursing takes pressure off sore nipples and engorged breasts. Gravity helps encourage milk flow.
Try Heat and Cold
For engorgement, apply cold packs after nursing to reduce swelling. Heat packs before nursing can help stimulate let-down.
Use Soothing Creams
Pure lanolin or organic nipple cream provides relief for painful, cracked nipples between feedings. Keep nipples dry otherwise.
Adjust Positioning and Latch
Small tweaks to how baby latches or where they hold the nipple in their mouth can make a big difference in comfort.
Offer a Pacifier
For a frustrated, fussy baby, offering a pacifier can provide comfort between feeds and avoid overfeeding.
Pump to Softening Breasts
If breasts become painfully engorged, pump just enough milk to soften them to allow baby to latch easier.
Sleep When Possible
Sleep deprivation makes everything tougher. Nap when the baby naps, say yes to offers of help, and sleep in shifts with a partner if needed.
Hydrate and Nourish
Drink plenty of fluids and eat regular, nutritious meals. Oatmeal, flaxseed, and foods rich in omega-3s can support milk supply.
Give Grace
Go easy on yourself on the hard days. Breastfeeding is a learning process. Reach out for support rather than being hard on yourself if things don’t go smoothly.
The Reward of Persistence
While the early days of breastfeeding can be daunting, overcoming the challenges is incredibly rewarding. With persistence and support, moms and babies figure things out together. Those difficult beginnings make the easier times ahead so much sweeter. The hardest day is just one day on the journey.