The role of the wife in Islam is viewed as vital and equivalent in importance to the role of the husband. The Quran and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) provide clear guidance on the importance of wives and their rights in marriage. Islam emphasizes the importance of marriage and family, considering it the foundation of a stable society. Wives are seen as life partners who should be respected and cared for.
Some key points on the importance and rights of wives in Islam include:
Wives are a blessing from Allah
The Quran describes wives as a source of tranquility and comfort for their husbands (Quran 30:21). Wives are considered a blessing (ni’mah) from Allah that should be appreciated and cherished. Prophet Muhammad said “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.” (Sahih Muslim). He also said that when a man wakes up happy with his wife, Allah records it as an act of worship. This indicates the importance of a loving and happy marital relationship in Islam.
Right to mahr (dower)
When marrying, the husband must provide the wife with a mahr or dower. This is a mandatory gift given by the groom to the bride that becomes her exclusive property (Quran 4:4). It provides financial security and independence for the wife, even if the marriage ends. The mahr cannot be taken back by the husband except in certain situations allowed by Shariah law.
Right to proper treatment
The Quran commands men to treat their wives well and with kindness (Quran 4:19). Prophet Muhammad emphasized this in his farewell sermon saying “Treat women kindly, they are your helpers and are not slaves.” Physical, mental or emotional abuse of wives is completely prohibited in Islam. Husbands must provide for all physical, emotional and sexual needs of wives.
Right to equality and respect
Wives are seen as equal partners in marriage, not slaves or property. The Quran speaks of wives as “garments” for husbands and husbands as “garments” for wives (Quran 2:187), implying closeness, comfort and protection. Prophet Muhammad instructed men to respect their wives and treat them well. He said “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi).
Right to education
Wives have a right to education in Islam. Acquiring knowledge is seen as duty for all Muslims, male and female. Prophet Muhammad explicitly allowed education for women and praised those who educated their wives and daughters. Denying education to women is considered unacceptable.
Right to retain identity
A married Muslim woman does not change her surname or identity. She retains her own name, lineage and family ties and is never considered the “property” of her husband in Islam. The Quran requires husbands and wives to deal with each other kindly and equitably (Quran 4:19).
Right to work and financial independence
Islam gives wives the right to work and be financially independent if they choose. A wife’s earnings are exclusively hers and she is not obligated to spend on household expenses. Prophet Muhammad’s first wife, Khadija, was a successful businesswoman who was the main breadwinner for the family.
Right to divorce
Under Shariah law, wives can seek divorce if the husband consents or under certain conditions like abuse or abandonment. This right was given to women by Prophet Muhammad at a time when divorce was considered taboo in Arabia. However, divorce is considered the last resort in Islam.
The Role and Responsibilities of a Wife
While Islam gives women rights in marriage, it also outlines certain duties and responsibilities that a wife should fulfill. Some key duties include:
Being a faithful and loving companion
A wife should provide love, comfort and emotional support to her husband. She should avoid gossip, arguments and jealousy to maintain a happy marriage. Quran describes righteous wives as devoted, guarding the husband’s secrets and properties in his absence (Quran 4:34).
Contributing to household management
Women play a vital role in managing household affairs and raising children. A wife in Islam is urged to take good care of her house and fulfill her domestic duties to the best of her ability. Prophet Muhammad said the best women are those who fulfill their domestic duties despite having servants to do it for them.
Obeying the husband
The Quran instructs wives to obey their husbands (Quran 4:34). However, scholars agree this does not mean blind obedience, but rather obedience based on love, care and mutual understanding between spouses. If the husband commands something impermissible in Islam, the wife is not obliged to obey.
Maintaining physical intimacy
It is the wife’s duty in Islam to satisfy her husband’s physical desires and protect his chastity. She cannot abstain from physical intimacy without valid reasons. Quran warns against wives who behave like an “enemy” in this regard, causing harm to the marriage (Quran 2:223).
Protecting his wealth and properties
A wife in Islam must safeguard her husband’s wealth and possessions in his absence. She should manage the household responsibly and avoid wasteful spending. The husband trusts her with his earnings and properties which she must protect.
Supervising the household helpers
Wives are responsible for supervising domestic helpers and slaves in the household. This includes treating them kindly, ensuring they perform duties properly and protecting them from harm or abuse. Prophet Muhammad emphasized being kind to slaves and servants.
Raising pious children
Mothers play the most critical role in raising righteous children in Islam. It is mainly a wife’s responsibility to educate kids on religion, morals and character. She is urged to choose a good father for her kids by marrying a pious husband.
Rights of the Husband
Along with rights, Islam also outlines the rights of a husband over his wife. These rights and responsibilities are balanced to avoid injustice and maintain harmony. Some rights include:
Obedience within moral limits
A wife must obey her husband as long as he does not command anything sinful or unjust. Scholars state that obedience maintains order and avoids marital disputes. If a husband commands something impermissible, the wife can disobey.
Fulfillment of sexual needs
A wife must not refuse her husband for intimacy without valid reasons like illness or fasting. She must protect his chastity and avoid denying him physically as it leads to marital discord. However, scholars say forcing intimacy is also impermissible.
Maintaining his trust
Wives must not betray the trust of their husbands. This includes protecting his wealth, properties and secrets. The Quran warns against wives who commit immoral acts behind their husband’s back like infidelity.
Avoiding unnecessary expenditures
The husband entrusts his wealth to the wife, so she should avoid misusing it. Scholars say the husband’s permission must be sought before giving his wealth away in charity or spending on non-essential matters.
Keeping his house in order
A wife should fulfill her domestic duties responsibly as housekeeping and raising kids is mainly her responsibility in Islam. She should ensure the household affairs and servants are well-managed in the husband’s absence.
Avoiding harm
Wives must avoid harming their husbands physically, emotionally or mentally. Things like publicly revealing private details, insulting, abandoning intimacy or restricting finances without cause are deemed unacceptable. However, valid complaints can be resolved privately.
Raising his children
The mother has the utmost responsibility for raising righteous children who will benefit the husband and society. Scholars say disobedient children are usually the result of a mother’s negligence or poor development of the child’s morals.
Etiquettes for Wives
Apart from rights and duties, Islam also teaches moral etiquettes that wives should adopt to have successful marriages:
Being cheerful around the husband
Wives should have a pleasant demeanor around their husbands and avoid grumpiness or bad temper. Prophet Muhammad disliked women who were always negative and demoralizing towards their husbands.
Dressing up for the husband
Islam encourages wives to dress up properly and look attractive for their husbands. Scholars say this maintains the husband’s desire and interest. Prophet Muhammad advised women to wear nice clothes and perfume for their spouses.
Not disclosing private matters
Wives must not disclose the couple’s private affairs to others. Things discussed in private should remain between the husband and wife. Backbiting the husband or revealing his secrets is prohibited.
Avoiding jealousy
Wives should not be excessively suspicious or jealous of their husbands. Unjustified jealousy leads to accusations, arguments and suspicion within the marriage. However, polite mutual inquiry is allowed.
Making the home comfortable
A wife should decorate the home nicely and prepare food the husband enjoys. She should make the atmosphere clean, comfortable and cheerful. This makes home a relaxing haven for the husband.
Respecting the husband’s family
Wives must respect their in-laws and be kind to them. Causing disputes with the husband’s relatives adds stress in the marriage. However, the husband must support his wife if relatives mistreat her.
Being patient in hardship
Patients and perseverance are key when facing any marital challenge. Wives should avoid anger, complaining and contention when problems arise. Seeking help from elders, family and scholars can be beneficial.
Conclusion
Islam views wives as vital companions who should be loved, respected and cared for. It upholds the institution of marriage and family and assigns great responsibilities upon wives in managing the household. At the same time, Islam secures a wife’s rights and equality through mahr, rights to education, work and divorce. A Muslim wife retains her identity while striking the right balance between the rights she owes her husband and those owed to her. Maintaining this beautiful balance and following Prophet Muhammad’s advice are keys to a happy marriage and family life. The role of the wife is instrumental in ensuring domestic harmony and raising the next generation of Muslims.