The rule of 3 is a simple technique that can help manage anxiety. It involves taking a moment to notice 3 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, and 3 things you can feel when you start to feel anxious. The goal is to bring your attention to the present moment and distract you from anxious thoughts.
What does the rule of 3 involve?
The rule of 3 involves using your senses to notice and name 3 things in your environment. Here’s how it works:
- Look around you and name 3 things you can see. For example, you could see a computer, a pen, and a notepad.
- Listen for 3 sounds. You might hear cars driving by, a clock ticking, and birds chirping.
- Notice 3 bodily sensations you can feel. This could include feeling your feet on the floor, the texture of your clothing, or the temperature of the air on your skin.
The idea is to use this technique quickly whenever you start feeling anxious. The act of naming things you perceive helps interrupt anxious thoughts and brings you into the present.
How does the rule of 3 help with anxiety?
Focusing on your senses with the rule of 3 helps decrease anxiety for several reasons:
- It interrupts the worried thoughts that fuel anxiety.
- It brings your focus to the external world rather than inward.
- It helps ground you in the present moment.
- It can shift your focus away from a threat perceived by your brain.
- It gives your mind a task to complete, distracting from the anxiety.
Research shows that being present-focused helps decrease anxiety and worry. The rule of 3 gives you a quick way to achieve that mindful, present-moment focus.
When should you use the rule of 3?
Use the rule of 3 technique whenever you start feeling anxious, such as:
- When you notice your mind spinning with worried thoughts
- When you feel panic coming on
- When your body starts feeling tense or stressed
- Before giving a public speech or presentation
- Before a test or difficult task
- During a panic attack
- When you find yourself in an anxiety-provoking situation
The key is to try this technique as soon as you notice anxiety symptoms arising. However, you can also use it even when you don’t feel anxious as a preventative measure.
How to do the rule of 3
Follow these simple steps to put the rule of 3 into action when you feel anxious:
- Notice when you start feeling anxious or stressed.
- Look around your environment and name 3 things you see. Say them to yourself or aloud.
- Listen for 3 distinct sounds. Name each one as you notice it.
- Notice 3 body sensations or things you are physically feeling. Say them silently or aloud.
- Take a few deep focused breaths to continue grounding yourself in the present.
- Repeat as needed until you feel your anxiety levels decrease.
Some find it helpful to choose a category like colors, shapes, or objects when naming things they see. You can also name 3 smells you notice if appropriate. Saying them aloud can help keep you focused, but you can also name things silently.
Set a reminder on your phone or computer to use this technique a few times throughout the day, even when you don’t feel anxious. This can build the habit of using the rule of 3 whenever anxiety strikes.
Tips for using the rule of 3 for anxiety
Here are some tips to get the most out of using this anxiety relief technique:
- Go slow and focus fully on each sense – don’t rush through naming 3 things.
- Be precise and specific in what you name – for example, name the actual plant you see rather than just saying “plant.”
- Keep returning your focus outward on your environment if your mind wanders.
- Use the rule of 3 along with deep breathing for maximum anxiety relief.
- Practice this technique regularly to make it more automatic when needed.
- Carry a small object in your pocket you can touch to remind you to use the rule of 3 when anxious.
- Don’t give up if it doesn’t seem to work at first – it takes practice to see results.
The rule of 3 in action
To make it more concrete, here is an example of using the rule of 3 when feeling anxious before giving a big presentation:
- Notice anxiety arising as you wait for your turn to present. Take a deep breath.
- See: Computer, notebook, pen
- Hear: Clock ticking, fingers typing, coughing
- Feel: Feet on floor, phone in pocket, necklace on chest
- Keep breathing deeply as you wait.
This distracts your mind from anxious thoughts and brings you into the room before it’s your turn to present. You can repeat it as needed when anxiety ramps back up.
Other grounding techniques for anxiety
While the rule of 3 is great for quick anxiety relief, it can help to have a few other grounding techniques in your toolbox:
- 5-4-3-2-1 technique – Name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 good thing about yourself.
- Deep breathing – Breathe slowly and deeply from your diaphragm.
- Progressive muscle relaxation – Tense and relax muscle groups throughout your body.
- Guided imagery – Picture a peaceful scene like a beach or forest.
- Mindfulness meditation – Sit quietly and focus on your breathing and senses.
Use what works best for you depending on the situation. Having a few techniques can help give you more resources to manage anxiety effectively.
When to seek help for anxiety
While the rule of 3 can be effective at easing mild anxiety, it’s important to seek professional help for:
- Moderate to severe anxiety that keeps interfering with daily life
- Panic attacks that happen frequently
- Social anxiety that keeps you isolated and avoiding others
- Obsessive worried thoughts that won’t stop
- Post-traumatic stress after a traumatic event
- Significant anxiety along with depression
A combination of therapy and medication can help address anxiety at problematic levels. Getting professional support and tools can help you manage anxiety so it doesn’t control your life.
The bottom line
The rule of 3 is an easy-to-remember technique that can help pull you out of anxiety in the moment. By focusing your senses outward on your environment, you can calm your mind and body when anxiety strikes. Along with other grounding tools and professional help if needed, it can help you better manage anxious thoughts and feelings.