Making out involves romantic physical intimacy between two people, progressing from kissing to more intimate acts. Like baseball, the common metaphor goes, making out has its own “bases” that range from kissing (first base) to more intimate touching (second base) to very intimate touching (third base). Third base typically refers to touching or stimulating the genitals, but not having sexual intercourse. This can include manual stimulation or oral sex. Let’s explore third base and its role in making out further.
Defining Third Base
Third base is the vernacular term for intimate touching and stimulation of the genitals during making out or foreplay. It stops short of sexual intercourse but involves stimulating someone’s genitals using hands, fingers, mouth or sex toys. Some specific acts considered third base include:
Manual Stimulation
Using the hands or fingers to rub, stroke, caress or massage a partner’s genitals. This includes stroking the penis, scrotum, vulva or clitoris. The intent is to provide stimulation and pleasure.
Fingering
Inserting fingers into the vagina or anus. This allows stimulation of erogenous interior nerves. Fingering the vagina involves inserting the fingers into the vaginal opening and making thrusting or circular motions to stimulate the vaginal walls.
Handjobs
Manual stimulation of the penis for erotic pleasure. The penis can be stroked, massaged, rubbed or gripped. Handjobs allow direct stimulation of the sensitive penile nerves.
Fellatio
Oral stimulation of the penis by licking or sucking. The man’s partner takes the erect penis into their mouth and sucks or moves their mouth up and down. The tongue can also lick and tickle sensitive areas like the tip, frenulum or scrotum.
Cunnilingus
Oral stimulation of the vulva, clitoris or vagina by licking or sucking. Cunnilingus focuses pleasure on the woman’s most sensitive genital area.
Anilingus (Rimming)
Stimulation of the anus using the mouth and tongue. The tongue licks and penetrates the anal opening. Rimming provides erotic stimulation of the sensitive anal nerve endings.
Using Sex Toys
Sex toys like vibrators, dildos, butt plugs or masturbation sleeves can be used to stimulate the genitals as part of third base play. Partners can use toys on each other.
These acts all aim to provide erotic pleasure and arousal by focused stimulation of the genitals as an intimate act stopping short of penetrative sex. Partners take turns providing pleasure through manual, oral or toy stimulation. Third base builds arousal, intimacy and trust between partners.
Third Base vs. Other Bases
It’s helpful to understand third base in the context of the other metaphorical bases:
First Base
Kissing with mouths closed, then open-mouth kissing once both partners consent. Light intimate touching like hugging, caressing arms, face, back and hair.
Second Base
Touching and kissing more intimate body areas like the neck, chest, breasts, stomach, thighs, genital region (over clothing). Grinding while making out.
Third Base
Touching private parts like breasts, genitals, buttocks. Manual stimulation of genitals. Oral stimulation of genitals. Using sex toys for stimulation.
Home Run
Sexual intercourse including vaginal, oral or anal penetration by the penis. Reaching the “home run” indicates full penetrative sex has occurred.
Third base is the final intimate step before full sexual intercourse. While first base and second base focus on less intimate acts like kissing and touching over clothes, third base involves direct stimulation of naked genitals to bring a partner to orgasm. It forms a part of extended foreplay.
The Role of Third Base
So why is third base an important stage of sexual intimacy for couples? There are a few key reasons:
Building Comfort and Trust
Reaching the stage of direct genital stimulation requires high levels of comfort, intimacy and trust. Allowing such vulnerability with a partner is a meaningful act that brings couples closer together. Focusing on providing each other pleasure through acts like oral sex builds intimacy.
Arousal and Pleasure
Third base activities provide intense physiological arousal and pleasure. The genitals have dense nerve endings that deliver sensations when stimulated. Couples can enjoy intimate pleasure from manual masturbation, oral stimulation, fingering and toy play focused just on the genitals. Orgasm is often (but not always) the conclusion.
Exploring Sexual Compatibility
Couples get to explore their sexual chemistry and compatibility through third base play. They learn each other’s sensitivities and preferences for touch, pressure, rhythm, etc. Gauging sexual compatibility at this intimate level allows couples to build sexual confidence before progressing to full intercourse.
Building Anticipation for Sex
Third base helps build erotic excitement and anticipation for eventual sexual intercourse between couples. The intense intimacy of acts like oral sex strengthens couples’ craving to reach the final “home run”. It’s a way to prolong the excitement of their first time having sex together.
Lower Risk of Pregnancy
For couples not ready for intercourse, third base provides intimate pleasure while avoiding penile-vaginal penetration and risk of pregnancy. It allows couples to express themselves sexually while managing physical and emotional risks.
Overall, third base is about connected arousal, mutual intimacy and exploring compatibility at the limits of foreplay. Partners get to safely provide each other intense sensual pleasure. The trust required helps cement romantic bonds.
How Far to Go
There are no hard rules on when couples should start exploring third base intimacy. Key factors include:
Readiness
Third base requires high comfort with intimate vulnerability. Don’t feel pressured by a partner into acts like manual/oral stimulation before you’re ready. Go only as far as you feel safe and enthusiastic about.
Consent
Enthusiastic consent from both partners is mandatory before any new sexual activities, every single time. Partners must clearly communicate their interest and willingly agree.
Relationship Stage
Couples in committed long-term relationships may be ready for third base earlier as trust develops faster. More casual dating partners may want to wait longer. There are no set timelines though; go at the pace that feels right.
Sexual Health
Consider any potential risks from sexual contact. Get STI tested if new partners are involved. Use protection like dental dams or condoms if needed.
Privacy
Find a comfortable, private space for intimate contact where you won’t be disturbed or interrupted. Having roommates around may affect activities.
The key is for couples to keep communicating as intimacy progresses. Talk openly about readiness, interests, boundaries and protection needs. Go step-by-step rather than rushing. Prioritize each other’s comfort. Third base can then be a positive intimate experience.
Initiating Third Base
If you and your partner are ready to explore third base intimacy, here are some tips for initiating play:
Set the Mood
Create a relaxing, sexy environment. Dim the lights, play music, light candles or burn incense. Give each other sensual massages to relax and arouse. Lubricant can add comfort.
Go Slow With Foreplay
Take time with kissing, touching, grinding and undressing each other. Don’t rush into genital play too fast. Slow buildup increases anticipation and arousal.
Communicate Your Desires
Verbalize your interest in escalating intimacy, e.g. “I want to feel your hands on me.” Ask what your partner is comfortable with. Discuss protection needs.
Start Gently
Begin third base play gently, without intense pressure. Try light strokes or kisses around erogenous zones first. Build up contact gradually as you gauge reactions.
Give Feedback
Provide encouraging verbal and non-verbal feedback as you get intimate. Guide your partner to the touch techniques and intensities you enjoy. Be open about what’s working for you.
Alternate Giving/Receiving
Take turns being the giver and receiver of intimate stimulation. Reciprocation builds sensual energy and bonding.
Respect Boundaries
If your partner becomes uncomfortable or asks to stop an activity, respect those boundaries immediately. Never pressure someone to go beyond what they want.
By starting third base play slowly, communicating desires openly, and prioritizing consent and comfort, couples can make it a rewarding intimate experience. The key is mutual trust and willingness to be vulnerable.
Oral Sex Tips
Oral sex is a big part of third base intimacy. Here are some tips for maximizing pleasure:
Fellatio Tips
– Use plenty of saliva to keep the penis lubricated.
– Try sucking just the head while stroking the shaft.
– Flick your tongue across the frenulum and tip.
– Gently fondle the testicles and perineum.
– Control speed and pressure of sucking based on the man’s responses.
– Let him finish in your mouth or pull away before he ejaculates.
Cunnilingus Tips
– Go slowly; don’t rush to the clitoris. Kiss and lick the labia first.
– Use a flat, wide tongue to lick up and down the entire vulva.
– Focus your licking rhythm on the clitoris. Maintain a steady speed and pressure.
– Write the letters of the alphabet with your tongue on her clitoris.
– Insert your tongue into the vaginal opening.
– Wrap your lips around the clitoris and suck gently.
– Ask for feedback on what techniques she enjoys most.
Oral sex is about listening to your partner’s body and adjusting your approach accordingly. Let their moans and movements guide you to provide maximum intimate pleasure.
Mutual Masturbation
Manual stimulation of each other’s genitals can be highly erotic. Here are some mutual masturbation tips:
– Use plenty of lubricant on the genitals.
– Try stroking in different motions – up/down, circular, zig zag, etc. Vary speed and grip pressure as well.
– Take breaks from direct stroking to tease other areas like the inner thighs.
– Make eye contact and communicate verbally during stimulation.
– Trade off touching each other simultaneously versus taking turns.
– Incorporate kissing and touching other body parts so it’s not just focused on genitals.
– For women, rub the clitoris in a steady circular motion while also fingering.
– For men, grip the full shaft to simulate intercourse rhythm.
– Try bringing each other close to orgasm and then stopping/switching stimulation.
Mutual masturbation helps partners learn how to most effectively provide each other genital pleasure. Being vocal about techniques that feel best will improve intimacy.
Erotic Massage Tips
Sensual full body massage is a great way to initiate third base touching. Here are some tips:
– Set a relaxing environment with soft lighting, candles and calming music.
– Use plenty of warmed massage oil or lotion over clean skin.
– Take time massaging non-sexual areas first – back, shoulders, arms, legs, feet.
– Gradually transition to more intimate areas like inner thighs, stomach and chest.
– Tease erogenous zones like around the breasts/genitals before directly touching them.
– When massaging the genitals, use both lubrication and communication. Check on pressure.
– End by massaging neglected areas like hands, neck and head.
Erotic massages allow couples to get relaxed, aroused and accustomed to intimate touching at their own pace. Don’t rush the experience; savor each stage from start to finish.
Using Sex Toys Together
Toys can add novelty and pleasure for third base play. Considerations for using toys:
– Do research together to find toys you’re both excited about trying. Focus on quality, body-safe materials.
– Start with something simple and unintimidating like bullet vibrators, cock rings or massage wands.
– Shop online or in sex-positive stores. Browsing together builds anticipation.
– Learn how to use toys properly. Clean thoroughly as per instructions.
– Use plenty of lubrication with toys for comfort.
– Communicate throughout use about what feels good or doesn’t.
– Don’t rely solely on toys – incorporate other touching/positions.
– Don’t force a toy if it causes pain or discomfort.
Toys should enhance intimacy, not replace it. Experiment together to find products that positively arouse both of you.
Safety Considerations
While third base play carries less pregnancy risk, sexually transmitted infection (STI) transmission can still occur. Important safety tips include:
– Get regularly tested for STIs if sexually active, especially with new partners.
– Use condoms/dental dams as protection for oral and manual stimulation if STI status is uncertain.
– Urinate and wash genitals after sex to avoid infections.
– Keep sex toys meticulously clean. Never share toys between partners.
– Use only water-based lubricants with condoms/toys. Oil-based lubes break down latex.
– Clip fingernails to avoid cuts/scratches during touching.
– Have emergency contraception on hand if any genital contact occurs.
– Always immediately stop activity if pain or injury occurs.
With proper safety measures, couples can explore third base intimacy comfortably and confidently.
Emotional Considerations
The intimacy of third base also carries emotional considerations:
Body Image
Being naked and physically vulnerable with a partner can stir up body image issues. Offer lots of reassurance and affirmation of each other’s desirability. Don’t criticize your own body.
Communication
Check in regularly with each other during intimate contact. Share verbally and non-verbally when something does or doesn’t feel good. Adjust accordingly.
Consent
Obtain clear consent before any new activity. Either partner can revoke consent at ANY time for any reason. Respect each other’s boundaries.
Attachment
Hormones like oxytocin released during intimacy can spur emotional attachment. Understand this doesn’t necessarily indicate long-term compatibility by itself.
Expectations
Discuss expectations from intimacy. Don’t assume third base means you must be exclusive or that full intercourse has to follow. Communicate clearly.
With openness, patience and care for each other’s comfort, third base can nurture emotional closeness and trusting vulnerability.
Conclusion
Reaching third base signals a rewarding level of intimacy, vulnerability and sexual exploration between partners. While definitions vary, it typically encompasses intimate manual, oral and toy stimulation of the genitals to orgasm, stopping just short of penetrative intercourse. Emotional readiness, consent, protection and communication are vital. When done with care and mutual attentiveness, third base activities like fingering, fellatio, handjobs or mutual masturbation can be incredibly arousing and bonding. It allows couples to safely gain confidence in intimacy and sexual compatibility. So long as couples progresses at the pace that feels right for their unique relationship needs and comfort levels, third base can be a fun, adventurous milestone. Just slide into it safely!