Skip to Content

What makes a person attractive to you?

Attraction is complex and influenced by many factors. People are drawn to others for a variety of reasons including physical appearance, personality, shared interests and values. While standards of beauty are partly cultural, there are some universal traits that studies show people find attractive across cultures.

Physical Attractiveness

Research has found certain physical traits tend to be found attractive across cultures and eras. Features signaling health, fertility and genetic fitness are desirable from an evolutionary standpoint.

Facial Symmetry

Studies show both men and women prefer faces that are more symmetrical. Facial symmetry is thought to signal genetic quality since it reflects good health and development. Minor asymmetry is normal, but large deviations may result from infection, genetic mutation, or other stresses that affected development.

Averageness

While striking or unusual features grab attention, average features are most attractive. Average faces are closer to the population ideal and indicate hybrid vigor, or a strong immune system from a diverse gene pool. Composite images made by blending many faces together are judged more attractive than individual faces.

Clear Skin

Skin and features free of blemishes, scars or discolorations are seen as more attractive. Clear skin may signal youth and health resulting from good genes and an effective immune system. Acne and other skin conditions can reduce attractiveness.

Facial Features

Both men and women prefer certain features over others, which are seen as more youthful or fertile. Full lips, round chin and cheeks, small nose, high cheekbones, clear eyes and arched brows are generally preferred.

Body Shape

For women an hourglass figure, with a waist to hip ratio of 0.7 is most attractive. For men a V shape with broad shoulders and narrower hips is preferable. These shapes again signal health, fertility, strength and fitness.

Height

Men tend to prefer women shorter than them, but not extremely short. Women prefer men taller than them, with average height most desirable. Height indicates health, status, and the ability to protect and provide.

Hair

Thick, lustrous hair is attractive for both sexes, as it indicates youth and health. Very little gray hair is preferable. However, artificially coloring hair does not have the same effect as naturally healthy hair.

Voice and Smell

Pleasant voice and natural scent can enhance attraction. Voices and smells are indicators of genetic compatibility, since preference is partly determined by immune system genes.

Personality

While looks draw initial interest, personality plays a key role in ongoing attraction. Compatibility of personality is crucial in determining if interest and rapport can be built and maintained.

Confidence

Self-confidence is attractive as it indicates high self-esteem and capability. Shyness and low confidence are viewed as less desirable.

Humor

Both men and women appreciate a good sense of humor. Laughing releases positive hormones that relax and help build connection. Being funny also requires intelligence, creativity, timing and empathy.

Intelligence

While extreme intelligence can be intimidating, most people want someone smart enough to hold a good conversation and handle life’s challenges. Curiosity and an interest in learning are also appealing.

Kindness

Caring for others demonstrates empathy and compassion. Small acts of kindness can reveal depth of character and thoughtfulness that is very attractive.

Positive Attitude

An upbeat attitude is energizing and motivating to be around. Pessimism and negativity tend to be a turnoff over the long run.

Adventurousness

A sense of adventure, spontaneity and trying new things keeps life exciting. Willingness to take measured risks demonstrates courage.

Maturity

Handling conflict constructively, being responsible, and demonstrating depth of character are marks of maturity that many look for in a long-term partner.

Shared Interests and Values

Relationships are built on shared interests and values. The passions people pursue in their lives reveal much about them. Compatibility and chemistry deepen when connecting over mutual interests.

Shared Interests

Passions like sports, arts, food, movies, games, or any life interest indicate compatibility if both share the enthusiasm. Even just openness to participate in what the other enjoys supports bonding.

Shared Values

Core values including family, career, spirituality, education, politics, or lifestyle preferences need some common ground to make life goals and priorities align. Opposing values often lead to conflicts.

Communication Style

Everyone has unique communication quirks. Finding someone who understands and reciprocates a preferred style of communicating builds connection.

Sense of Humor

Laughter is unifying when senses of humor are in sync. Getting each other’s jokes, banter, sarcasm or meme references prevents miscommunications.

Worldview

General outlook on life either meshes or clashes. Optimist/pessimist, spiritual/practical, idealist/realist divides can drive wedges without openness to the other view.

Social Style

Major differences in extraversion, action-/thought-orientation and lifestyle can make it hard to develop shared experiences. Though opposites attract, over time deep gaps strain relationships.

Emotional Connection

An emotional bond stems from understanding each other at a profound level. Relationships must move beyond the superficial to achieve intimate connection.

Trust

Trust grows when experiences consistently demonstrate honesty, reliability and positive intent. Trust allows vulnerability that forges deep understanding.

Intimacy

Intimacy thrives in safe, trusting spaces. Sharing feelings, fears, hopes and dreams fosters closeness. Physical intimacy also bonds when combined with emotional intimacy.

Reciprocity

Attraction depends on a fair balance of give and take. Relationships need mutual prioritization, effort and compromise to last.

Expression

Communicating feelings verbally and nonverbally to accurately convey emotions prevents misunderstanding and allows partners to empathize.

Comfort

The freedom to be oneself without judgement comes from mutual understanding. Comfort prevents masking aspects of personality.

Stability

Consistent availability, support and transparency create stable, secure attachments for the long term.

Teamwork

Relationships thrive when partners work cooperatively towards shared goals, negotiating differences.

Conclusion

Lasting attraction arises from a blend of physical, personal, intellectual and emotional qualities. While instant chemistry often starts the process, relationships need shared life approaches and values to grow intimate bonds through understanding over time. Core traits like mutual trust, respect, comfort and teamwork cement close connections.