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What to do when you have to poop but no bathroom?


We’ve all been there – the sudden urge to go number two hits when you’re nowhere near a bathroom. It’s an anxious and uncomfortable feeling, but there are ways to handle the situation gracefully to avoid any embarrassing accidents. This article will provide some quick tips on what to do when nature calls at an inopportune time.

Assess the Urgency

The first thing to do is quickly evaluate just how urgent the need to go is. If you’re about to have an accident immediately, you’ll need to look for the closest private place to relieve yourself as soon as possible. If you have a bit more time, start scanning your surroundings for the nearest restroom you can get to.

Try to estimate how long you can “hold it” – 10 minutes? 30 minutes? This will determine how far you can safely venture to find a toilet. Take deep breaths and stay calm. Panicking will only make the urge worse.

Look for a Restroom

If you’re in a public place, look for signage directing you to the restrooms. In a large building, there may be restrooms on different floors – be prepared to hop on an elevator or briskly climb some stairs.

If you’re outdoors, look for public restrooms in nearby buildings, parks, restaurants, etc. Gas stations and fast food joints are safe bets. Don’t be shy – dash inside and politely ask to use the facilities, even if you’re not a paying customer. Most businesses will oblige.

Use the Resources Around You

If no restrooms are immediately available, look for other private places you can quickly duck into:

– Retail stores – Malls and big box stores often have public restrooms.

– Hotels – Large hotels almost always have lobby restrooms you can use.

– Public buildings – Courthouses, city halls, libraries, etc.

– Coffee shops & fast food chains – Starbucks and McDonald’s are reliable options.

– Movie theaters – There’s always bathrooms at the cineplex.

– Portable toilets – Look for these at outdoor venues and construction sites.

Head for the Great Outdoors

If you’re really stuck with no indoor options, head outside and find a private spot behind a building, in the trees, or in an alley to take care of business discreetly. Look for somewhere out of direct line of sight from foot traffic.

As a last resort, use a plastic bag or container in your car or duck behind a dumpster – but try to find a more sanitary option if you can.

Relieve Yourself Responsibly

When you finally find a place to go, be quick but conscientious. Don’t make a mess for others to clean up. Here are some tips:

– If outdoors, dig a hole or find an outhouse/port-a-potty.

– Use toilet paper or napkins to wipe. Dispose of it properly.

– If polluting outdoors, cover up waste with dirt, leaves, newspaper, etc.

– If using a container, tightly seal it and then properly dispose of it.

– Wash your hands thoroughly with soap afterward if possible.

Freshen Up Afterward

Once you’ve dealt with the immediate need, take a moment to clean yourself up:

– Wash up with water, soap, hand sanitizer or sanitizing wipes if available.

– Apply deodorant, perfume or body spray to freshen up.

– Fix your clothes and hair if disheveled.

– Dispose of any soiled items or makeshift toilet paper discreetly.

– Purchase gum, mints or breath strips to freshen your breath.

Following these tips, no one has to know about your bathroom emergency! With the right preparation and discretion, you can handle the sudden urge gracefully. The key is staying calm, planning ahead and being conscious of hygiene and courtesy.

Prevent Bathroom Emergencies

While bathroom emergencies can happen to anyone, you can take steps to avoid them:

– Use the restroom proactively before leaving home, work, etc.

– Avoid “trigger” foods and limit liquids before long trips or events.

– Know ahead of time where bathrooms are located at your destination.

– Carry toilet paper, tissue, disposal bags, sanitizer and other emergency supplies.

– Wear easily removable clothing in case you need to quickly use the great outdoors.

– Consider taking Imodium or Pepto-Bismol tablets to stop up digestion temporarily.

– Schedule bathroom breaks on road trips or long shopping days. Don’t wait until it’s urgent!

If you do feel an urge coming on, excuse yourself right away to use the restroom. Don’t wait until it’s an emergency! A little planning and prevention can spare you the discomfort and embarrassment of being caught off guard.

What to Do If You Have an Accident

Despite your best efforts, bathroom accidents can still occasionally happen. Try not to panic. Here’s what to do if you do have an accident:

– Stay calm. Accidents happen – don’t beat yourself up.

– Clean yourself up as thoroughly as possible. Dispose of soiled clothing/items.

– Use deodorant, spray or wipes to sanitize the affected area.

– If indoors, quietly notify staff so they can clean the area you soiled. Offer to pay for cleaning costs.

– If outdoors, move away from the area and cover up any waste with leaves/dirt. Avoid polluting waterways.

– Change into fresh clothes as soon as possible. Bag up dirty clothes in plastic until you can wash them.

– Shower, wash your hands and groom yourself as quickly as you’re able once you find a restroom.

– If away from home, stop at a store to purchase new underwear/pants and hygiene supplies.

– Remain discreet – accidents happen, so try not to draw extra attention or embarrassment to yourself.

Having an accident is unpleasant, but you’ll get through it. The key is cleaning up thoroughly and discreetly, and learning how to prevent it in the future. With the right preparation, you can master the art of holding it until you find a place to go.

Conclusion

Needing to use the bathroom when one isn’t conveniently available is an unfortunate predicament we all find ourselves in from time to time. With some advance planning and a cool head, you can discreetly handle the situation in a pinch. Scout your surroundings, know where to seek relief, use proper hygiene, and freshen up afterward. While bathroom emergencies can’t always be avoided, following these tips will help you handle the urge gracefully to avoid embarrassment and minimize impact. With practice, you’ll become a pro at discreetly surviving when you have to poop but no bathroom!