Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, which allows them to attract certain types of people into their lives. Their need for excessive admiration and lack of empathy often creates dysfunctional relationships, but some characteristics and traits make a person more susceptible to the manipulation tactics narcissists employ.
People Pleasers
People pleasers have an excessive need for approval and validation from others. They will go out of their way to accommodate other people’s needs and wants without regard for their own. This makes them prime targets for narcissists who often take advantage of people pleasers’ kindness and exploit their desire to be liked.
People pleasers often struggle with low self-esteem and lack boundaries. They feel the need to put other’s needs before their own in order to feel valued in relationships. Narcissists feed off this and will continue to make more and more demands to satisfy their insatiable egos, while people pleasers continually compromise their own needs to appease the narcissist.
Signs a people pleaser may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Agrees with everything the narcissist says or does
- Allows toxic or abusive treatment to avoid conflict
- Offers excessive flattery and praise
- Takes on too many responsibilities to satisfy the narcissist’s requests
Empaths
Empaths are highly sensitive and emotional individuals who acutely feel other people’s feelings and emotions. Their empathy and compassion can be exploited by narcissists who often play the victim to trigger an empath’s desire to help and heal.
Empaths are attentive listeners which feeds a narcissist’s need for attention. However, empaths have poor boundaries and often neglect their own needs which allows narcissists to continually take without giving back. As empaths try harder and harder to please the narcissist, they deplete their own emotional resources.
Signs an empath may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Tries too hard to understand the narcissist’s behaviors
- Makes excuses for the narcissist’s toxic behavior
- Neglects their own self-care to please the narcissist
- Feels too emotionally drained after spending time with the narcissist
Codependents
Codependents have an excessive emotional, physical and psychological reliance on their relationships with others. They have low self-esteem and derive a sense of purpose solely from their relationships.
Narcissists seek out relationships with codependents who they know will provide constant validation. Codependents provide endless praise and admiration which feeds the narcissist’s ego. In return, the codependent gets a sense of worth from being needed by the narcissist who demands their attention.
Signs a codependent may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Willingly puts aside their needs for the narcissist
- Feels lost or empty when not in a relationship
- Tolerates controlling, needy or abusive behavior
- Has no sense of self outside the relationship
Highly Sensitive People
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) process and absorb more sensory information than others. This makes them very insightful about people and situations. However, it also causes them to be overly critical about themselves and afraid of making mistakes.
Narcissists target HSPs because they know their excessive criticism will provoke an HSP’s need to people please. The HSP’s perfectionism causes them to tolerate the narcissist’s put-downs and abuse in an effort to try harder to gain their approval.
Signs a HSP may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Becomes anxious or upset after interacting with the narcissist
- Tries obsessively to make the narcissist happy
- Ignores their own intuition around the narcissist
- Is overly hard on themselves when they don’t please the narcissist
Overachievers
Overachievers have an obsessive need to succeed and accomplish goals. Their self-worth is often tied to their ability to get things done perfectly and efficiently.
A narcissist will exploit an overachiever’s need for validation by giving them challenges and responsibilities that are impossible to complete. When the overachiever fails to accomplish these unreasonable demands, the narcissist berates them causing the overachiever to work even harder to get the approval they crave.
Signs an overachiever may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Pushes themselves to exhaustion trying to satisfy the narcissist
- Struggles to relax and set boundaries around work for the narcissist
- Blames themselves when they are unable to meet the narcissist’s expectations
- Sacrifices their health and relationships to achieve for the narcissist
Loners
Loners who lack strong social connections often crave the doting attention and flattery narcissists lavish on new targets. Due to past betrayals or trust issues, loners may avoid deep intimate connections, but a narcissist can make them feel special with constant praise and admiration.
The loner fails to notice the manipulation behind the narcissist’s praise until the devaluation phase when the narcissist turns on them. By this point the loner has been isolated from any outside support and finds themselves trapped by a narcissist who once filled their need for attention.
Signs a loner may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Revels in the excessive flattery and compliments from the narcissist
- Drops their usual isolation to spend time with the new narcissist
- Comes to rely solely on the narcissist for companionship
- Ignores red flags and warning signs
Caretakers
Caretakers love to nurture and support people which perfectly feeds a narcissist’s desire to be doted on and indulged. The caretaker is so focused on the narcissist’s needs that they ignore manipulative behavior and give away their time and energy without reciprocation.
Meanwhile, the narcissist thrives under the constant catering without concern for the caretaker’s depletion. The caretaker feels trapped in this one-sided relationship as they continuously try to support someone who is only interested in exploiting them.
Signs a caretaker may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Goes above and beyond to make the narcissist feel special
- Is overly generous with their time, money and resources
- Blames themselves when their caretaking fails to please the narcissist
- Neglects their own needs and well-being
Trauma Survivors
Past childhood trauma like abuse or abandonment can make it difficult for survivors to set healthy boundaries later in life. Trauma survivors often ignore red flags and rationalize bad behavior due to their unresolved issues.
Narcissists target trauma survivors because they know it leaves them vulnerable. Narcissists use their victim mentality to exploit trauma survivors who want to prevent someone else from being abandoned or hurt like they were in the past.
Signs a trauma survivor may be attracted to a narcissist:
- Ignores their own discomfort or pain to help the narcissist
- Overlooks problematic behavior and makes excuses
- Is too trusting and gives away personal information quickly
- Takes on the role of therapist for the narcissist
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are certain personality traits and vulnerabilities that make some people more prone to narcissistic abuse than others. Narcissists exploit empaths, people pleasers, codependents and other caring, trusting individuals who they know will continually try to prove their worth and earn the narcissist’s approval and validation.
Learning how to establish strong personal boundaries, address unhealed wounds, and detach from validation-seeking tendencies can help prevent becoming involved with malignant narcissists. While narcissists can be masters of manipulation, the best defense is inner work to uncover and heal emotional wounds, cultivate self-love, and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.