Skip to Content

What would a narcissist say?

Narcissists often have a distorted sense of self and tend to lack empathy for others. Their behavior and speech patterns frequently reflect these tendencies. In this article, we will explore common phrases and responses that highlight the mindset and worldview of a narcissist.

Deflecting blame

Narcissists have difficulty taking accountability for their actions. When confronted about something they’ve done wrong, a narcissist will typically deflect blame onto others rather than own up to their mistakes. Some examples of this include:

  • “It’s not my fault, it’s because of what you/they did.”
  • “I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t provoked me.”
  • “Why are you blaming me? It was out of my control.”

By shifting blame onto others, the narcissist avoids having to take responsibility for their problematic behavior. This refusal to accept accountability is a hallmark of narcissism.

Minimizing others’ concerns

When someone expresses an issue with the narcissist’s actions, they will often minimize the other person’s feelings and concerns. Some examples of this include:

  • “You’re too sensitive, it wasn’t a big deal.”
  • “You’re overreacting, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
  • “I don’t know why you’re so upset, I’d move on if I were you.”

This dismissal of others’ concerns serves to invalidate people’s legitimate reactions to the narcissist’s harmful behaviors. It also demonstrates a lack of empathy and unwillingness to acknowledge the impact of their actions.

Feeling entitled to special treatment

Due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance, narcissists believe they deserve special privileges and treatment. Some examples include:

  • “I shouldn’t have to wait in line like everyone else.”
  • “The rules shouldn’t apply to someone like me.”
  • “I deserve to be recognized for my talents and contributions.”

This sense of grandiosity and entitlement often comes across in their speech and attitudes. They believe themselves to be superior and deserving of things that ordinary people are not.

Bragging and exaggerating abilities

Narcissists have a constant need for validation and attention to bolster their self-esteem. One way they achieve this is by bragging about their accomplishments and exaggerating their talents and skills. For example:

  • “I’m the best at what I do, no one can compete with my abilities.”
  • “Everyone says I’m the most talented person they know.”
  • “I achieved this in record time, it’s clearly because I’m brilliant.”

By showcasing their perceived talents and achievements, the narcissist seeks to portray themselves as exceptional and garner external validation. Their need for admiration drives them to inflate their abilities and boast constantly.

Demeaning others

Narcissists often deal with perceived threats to their self-esteem by devaluing others. Some examples of this include:

  • “Why would I care what someone like you thinks about me?”
  • “I’m better than them in every way, their opinion is worthless.”
  • “No one as useless as them could possibly understand me.”

By putting down others, the narcissist can reaffirm their grandiose sense of self. Their fragile egos compel them to diminish those who criticize them or threaten their inflated self-image.

Feeling victimized

When held accountable for their actions, narcissists tend to adopt victim mentalities rather than take responsibility. For instance:

  • “I’m being unfairly attacked right now.”
  • “Everyone is ganging up on me for no good reason.”
  • “People are just jealous of me and want to see me fail.”

By portraying themselves as victims, narcissists avoid accountability and elicit sympathy. Their excessive self-focus causes them to perceive any criticism as a personal attack rather than constructive feedback.

Seeking compliments and validation

Fishing for compliments is a common narcissistic tendency. Some examples include:

  • “Don’t you think I handled that situation well?”
  • “This outfit looks amazing on me, don’t you think?”
  • “I’m so good at giving advice, aren’t I?”

The narcissist’s need for endless admiration drives them to seek external validation at every turn. Rather than develop an intrinsic sense of self-worth, they rely on others to prop up their egos with continual praise and flattery.

Expressing envy

The accomplishments or traits of others can provoke envy in narcissists, as they undermine their grandiose self-image. They might express envy in statements like:

  • “It’s not fair that they succeed so easily when I work much harder.”
  • “They think they’re so wonderful just because people like them.”
  • “I could have done what they did if I had their advantages.”

This envy exposes the narcissist’s jealousy and need to be the best at all times. When others receive attention or praise, it contradicts the narcissist’s inflated sense of self-importance.

Arrogance

Statements reflecting the narcissist’s inherent sense of superiority include:

  • “I know better than anyone else how to handle this.”
  • “My instincts are far superior compared to others.”
  • “Most people are too incompetent to make good decisions on their own.”

This arrogance conveys the narcissist’s exaggerated self-confidence and dismissiveness towards others. They believe their abilities and intellect far exceed those of most people.

Lack of empathy

Due to their distorted self-focus, narcissists struggle with empathy and understanding others’ perspectives. Some examples include:

  • “Why should I care about their problems? I have my own to deal with.”
  • “They should help themselves instead of expecting sympathy from me.”
  • “I’ve got more important things to focus on than listening to their complaints.”

Their indifference to others’ suffering demonstrates their deficiency in emotional empathy. They prioritize their own needs and goals over connecting meaningfully with people.

Craving attention

Narcissists have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. For example:

  • “Let me tell you about my recent accomplishments…”
  • “I have such an interesting story about what happened to me today.”
  • “I’m going to make sure everyone notices when I enter the room.”

This constant craving for attention and admiration often manifests in attention-seeking behaviors. The narcissist believes they are so important that others should focus on them and cater to their needs.

Conclusion

In summary, the speech patterns and behaviors of narcissists reflect their sense of grandiosity, need for validation, lack of empathy, and fragile self-esteem. When listening to how a narcissist communicates and acts, you will likely recognize certain themes like deflecting responsibility, envy, arrogance, and craving attention and compliments. Being able to identify these narcissistic tendencies can be helpful in understanding their distorted mindsets.