Determining who pays for the post-wedding breakfast is an important consideration for couples planning their nuptials. While there are no hard rules, traditions and expectations around covering this cost have evolved over time.
Quick Answers
Here are quick answers to common questions about who pays for the post-wedding breakfast:
- Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for the wedding reception and breakfast. However, today costs are often shared between families or paid for by the couple.
- Ultimately, it’s up to the couple to decide based on their budget and family dynamics. There’s no one right answer.
- Some common approaches are having:
- The bride’s parents pay
- Both sets of parents split the cost
- The couple pay entirely
- If parents are paying, the couple should be considerate about costs and not expect an lavish, exorbitant event.
- Etiquette guides suggest inviting wedding guests to the post-wedding breakfast, as it’s considered an integral part of the celebrations.
History and Origin
The tradition of the post-wedding breakfast originated in England in the 19th century. Up until this point, weddings were usually small events held in private homes followed by some cake and wine. As weddings began being held in churches with larger guest lists, the breakfast became an opportunity to celebrate and host guests after the ceremony.
Back then, the bride’s family paid for the entire wedding including the breakfast, which was seen as part of their obligation in marrying off their daughter. This expectation came from the view that men were breadwinners and women depended on their families until getting married and becoming their husband’s dependent.
Of course, societal norms have changed dramatically. But the tradition of the post-wedding breakfast has remained, along with some lingering assumptions about who hosts it.
Modern Expectations and Advice
Today, more couples are paying for the wedding themselves. But parents, especially those of the bride, often still contribute financially. With rising wedding costs, expectations around who pays for what have had to evolve.
Here are some guidelines on navigating post-wedding breakfast costs for modern couples and families:
- The couple should cover any costs they can comfortably afford, even if parents are contributing. Parental gifts shouldn’t be seen as blank checks.
- If the bride’s family offers to cover the breakfast, the groom’s family may offer to pay for something like the rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch.
- Costs can be split according to family means. For example, one family covers the food and the other covers the venue.
- If both families are contributing, costs are often split evenly between them.
Whatever is decided, open communication between all parties is key. Couples shouldn’t assume parents will pay without discussing budgets. And parents who are covering costs can be clear if there are limitations on what they can spend.
Considerations if Parents Pay
When parents generously contribute funds, the couple should be mindful not to take advantage by planning an overly extravagant breakfast. Staying considerate of their budget is important.
Some guidelines include:
- Discuss approximate guest numbers and catering costs early. Get a sense of what parents are comfortable spending.
- Carefully choose a venue to keep expenses reasonable. Public parks, community centers, or backyards can provide beautiful, budget options.
- Consider a brunch buffet rather than a formal seated breakfast, which is usually more economical.
- Prioritize parents’ preferences for things like the menu, decor, and entertainment.
- Send invites with “hosted by the parents of the bride/groom/couple” to indicate who is hosting.
If parents want something simple, don’t push for lavish additions. Find ways to make the breakfast special through thoughtful gestures and celebration rather than over-the-top frills.
Who Should Be Invited?
Traditionally, all wedding guests are also invited to the post-ceremony breakfast. Treating it as an extension of the celebrations allows out-of-town guests to enjoy more hospitality and spend more time with the couple.
Some guidelines on the guest list:
- Invite all guests who attended the wedding ceremony and reception.
- Welcome any out-of-town guests’ travel companions, even if they weren’t at the wedding events.
- You don’t need to invite wedding vendors like photographers, band members, etc. But providing them with refreshments is thoughtful.
- Only include additional friends and extended family if budget and venue space allow.
For very small weddings, you may decide to have a larger post-wedding breakfast to invite extended family and friends who weren’t at the ceremony. Just be mindful of costs if parents are paying and communicate plans clearly.
Wording on Breakfast Invitations
If your post-wedding breakfast is a separate event from the wedding reception, provide details on a separate invitation card. Here are some examples of what to include:
- Name of couple getting married
- “You are invited to the post-wedding breakfast” or “Join us for a post-wedding breakfast”
- Host(s) – “Hosted by ___” or “The honor of your presence is requested by ___”
- Date, time, venue location
- Meal details like “morning buffet” or “brunch banquet”
- RSVP details – online, by phone, etc.
- Reception card enclosures like maps, accommodation info, etc.
Send these invites with the main wedding reception invites. This allows guests to plan their travel and schedule.
Planning an Elegant Yet Affordable Breakfast
Prioritizing a meaningful, intimate event over an extravagant one can help couples on a budget host a lovely post-wedding breakfast. Here are tips for elegance on a budget:
- Choose daytime hours. Serving breakfast or brunch is cheaper than dinner.
- Have the breakfast at the ceremony or reception venue. You may get a discounted rate.
- Select an inexpensive venue like a backyard, public park, or community center.
- Serve a simple, delicious menu like baked goods, fruit, and omelette stations.
- Decorate minimally with fresh flowers and greenery.
- Borrow items like tablecloths, chairs, and dishes from family and friends.
- Make your own playlist rather than hiring live music.
- Provide your own alcohol, non-alcoholic drinks, and garnishes rather than an open bar.
- Print your own menus, place cards, and signs.
- Hire student photographers rather than professionals.
Sample Budget Breakdown
Here is an approximate breakdown of costs for a budget-friendly post-wedding brunch for 50 guests:
| Item | Estimated Cost |
|---|---|
| Venue rental | $200 |
| Catering – $15 per person | $750 |
| Decorations | $50 |
| Beverages | $100 |
| Menu printing | $30 |
| Music playlist | $0 |
| Photography | $200 |
| Total Costs | $1330 |
This shows that it’s possible to host a lovely post-wedding brunch on a modest budget with some planning. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Creative Ideas for Memorable Breakfasts
With a little creativity, you can host a delightful post-wedding breakfast even on a tight budget. Here are some ideas to make it fun and memorable:
Menu
- Do a breakfast potluck and ask each guest to contribute a dish.
- Have guests customize their own omelettes or bloody marys at a station.
- Create a signature morning cocktail and name it after the couple.
- Incorporate “breakfast for dinner” ideas like pancakes or waffles.
- For sweet tooths, offer a candy or doughnut bar.
Atmosphere
- Use vintage teacups and mismatched plates from thrift stores for whimsical place settings.
- Make a fun playlist of morning songs like “Good Morning” by Nat King Cole.
- Hand out cute sunglasses or slippers as favors.
- Have lawn games like cornhole for guests to play.
Style
- For a relaxed vibe, have guests wear pajamas or robes.
- Set up a polaroid photo booth with fun props.
- Decorate with lanterns, greenery, and wildflowers.
- Choose bright, cheery colors like yellow and light blue.
With creative touches, you can throw an unforgettable post-wedding breakfast on any budget.
Conclusion
Determining who pays for the post-wedding breakfast is a flexible decision for couples and families. While traditions exist, hosts can decide what works best for their budget and situation. The most important thing is coming together for a celebratory start to married life.
Brides, grooms and parents should communicate openly and contribute what they can. Couples shouldn’t expect family to fund an extravagant event but can find creative ways to make it meaningful. Discussing plans and costs ahead of time helps make the event enjoyable for all.
With some savvy planning and creativity, any couple can host a beautiful breakfast after their big day. The memories made will be treasured by all who share in kicking off their new journey.