The honeymoon is often considered one of the most romantic and enjoyable parts of a marriage. After months of stressful wedding planning, the honeymoon provides newlyweds with an opportunity to celebrate their love and focus on each other in an intimate setting. However, honeymoons can also be quite expensive. This leads many couples to wonder: who is responsible for paying for the honeymoon?
Traditional Etiquette
According to traditional etiquette, the groom and his family were solely responsible for paying for the honeymoon. This notion dates back to when the bride’s family was required to pay for most of the wedding expenses. To ease the financial burden, the groom would fund the post-wedding trip.
These days, strict traditional rules around who pays for what are not always followed. With many couples getting married later in life, they often pay for parts or all of the wedding themselves. However, some families still adhere to the practice of the groom covering honeymoon costs.
Modern Practices
In the modern era, there are few hard rules about who pays for the honeymoon. Here are some of the most common approaches:
Split Costs
It is now quite popular for couples to split the cost of their honeymoon 50/50. This is especially common when both partners have well-paying jobs and independent finances.
Going halves on the honeymoon allows both spouses to contribute equally. There is no stigma about one partner not being able to “afford” the honeymoon. It also gives the couple equal say in the planning.
Gifts from Family
Many newlyweds receive financial gifts to put towards a honeymoon. Parents, grandparents, and other close family may provide gifts of $500 to $5,000 or more.
This helps subsidize the cost of the honeymoon for the couple, so they do not have to pay the full amount out-of-pocket. It is considered a special wedding gift for the newlyweds.
One Partner Pays
Sometimes one spouse will fully pay for the honeymoon trip. This may occur when there is a large income disparity between partners. The higher earner will treat the lower earner to the honeymoon.
However, it’s important that the lower-income partner does not feel embarrassed or ashamed. The paying partner should make it clear they are happy to cover all costs as a gift of love.
Parents Pay
In some families, parents still uphold the tradition of paying for the honeymoon as their wedding gift. Parents who are financially comfortable may offer to fund a lavish, luxurious trip.
If parents pay, the newlyweds should still be actively involved in the planning. They shouldn’t treat it like a “free vacation” and take advantage.
How Do Most Couples Pay in Reality?
In truth, many couples use a combination of methods to pay for their honeymoon:
- The couple saves up jointly for the trip over the course of their engagement.
- They split costs 50/50 from their joint savings.
- Parents and family give money as a wedding gift.
- They use credit card points to cover flights or hotels.
- One partner might pay slightly more if they have more savings.
The common theme is teamwork and communicating openly about finances. Ideally both spouses should contribute somewhat, unless there is a major income gap.
| Method | Percentage |
|---|---|
| Couple’s joint savings | 50% |
| Gifts from family | 25% |
| Credit card points | 15% |
| One partner paying more | 10% |
This chart shows a hypothetical breakdown of how most couples commonly fund their honeymoon.
Saving Up for the Honeymoon
The heart of paying for a honeymoon comes down to smart saving strategies:
Start a Honeymoon Fund
As soon as you get engaged, start putting money away monthly into a designated honeymoon fund. This builds up a cash reserve so you are not stuck paying 100% of the honeymoon costs right before the wedding.
Open a Joint Savings Account
If you do not already share finances, open a joint checking and savings account when you get engaged. You can save for the honeymoon together and pay from your shared funds.
Create a Realistic Budget
Research pricing and determine a realistic budget for your ideal honeymoon. That will tell you how much total savings you need to reach your goal. Aim to save about 10% of that total each month.
Make Saving Automatic
Arrange automatic transfers from each of your personal accounts into the joint honeymoon savings each month. Automation keeps the savings consistent.
Reduce Spending Elsewhere
Make temporary cutbacks in other areas like dining out, entertainment, etc. and reroute that money towards the honeymoon fund.
Alternative Ways to Fund a Honeymoon
For couples who need extra help paying for their dream honeymoon, here are some creative ideas:
Crowdfunding
Some newlyweds create honeymoon registries or crowdfunding pages to collect monetary gifts from a wider circle of friends and extended family.
Rewards Credit Cards
Strategically apply for rewards credit cards with large signup bonuses you can use towards travel. This can cover flights, hotels, etc.
Travel Points
If you or your parents have travel points or miles, look into redeeming them for flights and hotels on your honeymoon.
Look for Deals
Check sites like Groupon and LivingSocial for honeymoon packages and travel deals you can take advantage of.
Honeymoon Funds on Wedding Registries
Register for a “honeymoon fund” in lieu of physical gifts couples can contribute to.
Who Traditionally Pays for What?
Here is a breakdown of who traditionally pays for each element of the honeymoon, according to old etiquette rules:
| Expense | Paid By |
|---|---|
| Transportation | Groom |
| Lodging | Groom |
| Meals | Groom |
| Activities | Groom |
| Bride’s Wardrobe | Bride |
| Groom’s Wardrobe | Groom |
| Travel Documents | Groom |
As you can see, traditionally the groom was responsible for most honeymoon expenses, with the exception of the bride’s clothing.
Etiquette for Receiving Financial Honeymoon Gifts
If you receive monetary gifts to put towards your honeymoon, here is some etiquette to follow:
Send Thank You Notes
The first rule is to always send a thank you card to anyone who gifted you honeymoon funds. Make the note warm, sincere, and specific.
Don’t Expect Gifts
Never assume that anyone owes you a honeymoon contribution. Only expect gifts from very close relatives.
Don’t Ask for Cash Gifts
It can come across as rude to blatantly ask for honeymoon funds. The sentiment should come organically from the giver.
Use the Money as Intended
Make sure to use any received funds specifically for your honeymoon expenses as the giver intended.
Don’t Talk Costs
Avoid discussing exact dollar amounts when possible. Don’t go telling extended family what a gift from your parents cost.
Share Photos After
Let your loved ones share in the joy by sending them postcards, photos, or updates from your honeymoon.
How to Split Costs Fairly as a Couple
Agreeing on how to split honeymoon costs can be tricky. Here are tips for dividing it equitably with your spouse-to-be:
Have Financial Transparency
Being open about your incomes, assets, debts, and credit scores allows you to come up with a fair percentage split.
Split Based on Income
You can divide the costs proportionally based on what percentage each of you contributes towards total household income.
Take Turns Treating
On a daily basis, take turns covering each meal or activity so you both feel treated.
Align on Priorities
Have an open conversation about aspects that are most important to each of you, like activities vs. lodging.
Divide and Conquer
Explicitly agree who will handle booking flights, hotels, restaurant reservations to evenly distribute planning.
Setting Financial Ground Rules
Before your honeymoon, have an honest conversation about any money concerns and agree on ground rules:
- Set a clear budget and what is or isn’t included.
- Agree on a percentage each person will contribute.
- Decide who will be in charge of managing the budget and tracking spending.
- Exchange credit cards and agree on backup payment options if needed.
- Commit to communicating about any splurges or additional expenses that come up.
- Agree to be flexible and make compromises to stay on the same page.
Planning a Honeymoon You Can Afford
The key to avoiding financial headaches is planning a honeymoon you can realistically afford. Some tips:
Crunch the Numbers
Add up total estimated costs for lodging, flights, food, activities, transportation, etc. Make sure it aligns with your actual savings.
Account for Extra Costs
Remember to budget for tips, travel insurance, emergency funds, visas, vaccinations, etc.
Consider All-Inclusive Resorts
Booking an all-inclusive package can make it easier to stick to a fixed budget.
Travel Off-Season
Avoiding peak tourist times can seriously cut down on lodging and flight costs.
Use Points and Miles
Sign up for hotel, airline, and credit card loyalty programs to earn points and miles towards your honeymoon.
Conclusion
Who pays for the honeymoon ultimately comes down to what makes the most sense for each couple’s financial situation. The tradition of the groom covering all costs is phasing out. Most couples contribute jointly, whether through their own savings, family gifts, or creative money strategies. The shared experience of planning and paying together can kickstart marriage on the right foot.