Princess Diana and Queen Elizabeth II had a complex relationship that was strained for several reasons. While there were some warm moments between them, their differences in personality and priorities ultimately led to tensions.
Different Backgrounds
Diana came from an aristocratic family but she was not royalty. The Spencers had close ties with the royal family and Diana grew up near the Queen’s Sandringham estate. However, she did not grow up with the expectations and protocol of being a member of the royal family.
On the other hand, Queen Elizabeth II was born into royalty and groomed from birth to serve as monarch. She took her royal duties very seriously and expected the same from those who married into the family. This created an immediate culture clash when the free-spirited Diana entered the restrictive world of the royals.
Different Personalities
Diana and the Queen had vastly different personalities that did not mesh well. Diana was emotional, needy, and sought out affection. She disliked rigid formality and protocol. She struggled with bulimia and mental health issues. Diana wanted to modernize the monarchy and bring a more human touch to the role.
In contrast, the Queen is reserved, stoic, and formal. She puts duty before self and adheres strictly to etiquette. She has never given an interview and believes in maintaining the mystery of the monarchy. Her top priority has always been preserving the Crown’s authority and carrying on centuries-old traditions.
Diana Overshadowed the Queen
When Diana joined the royal family in 1981, she brought renewed energy and glamour that attracted tremendous media attention. The public was enthralled by her beauty, fashion sense, and compassionate nature. She seemed like a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the stalwart yet staid royals.
However, all the focus on Diana came at the expense of the Queen. At times it felt like the media preferred Diana and pitted her against Her Majesty. This couldn’t have sat well with the Queen, who had given her life in service to the Crown since the age of 25. The Queen expected to remain the central figure of the monarchy, not be upstaged by the wife of the heir apparent.
Different Views on Royal Protocol
Diana and the Queen clashed over adhering to royal protocol and tradition. While Elizabeth staunchly upheld the rules and formality passed down through generations of royals, Diana saw such rigidity as unnecessary. She disliked that the royals were so disconnected from the public behind the walls of Buckingham Palace and royal residences.
For instance, Diana was famous for her compassion and hands-on approach to charity work. She broke protocol by hugging AIDS patients and sitting on the hospital beds of sick children. The Queen did not approve of such informality in representing the Crown. Diana also gave candid interviews about her personal struggles, which the Queen disapproved of as overly revealing.
Diana’s Marriage to Prince Charles
One of the biggest strains between Diana and the Queen revolved around Charles. The marriage got off to a rocky start as the young newlyweds had little in common. Charles maintained his long-time affair with Camilla Parker Bowles. Diana struggled with bulimia and depression amidst the loneliness of royal life. She later admitted that both she and Charles had been unfaithful during their marriage.
As the marriage crumbled, Diana’s distress and erratic behavior embarrassed the Queen and royal family. The Queen lost patience as she believed Diana should have maintained dignity. Even after Charles and Diana officially divorced, the Queen remained concerned over Diana’s conduct and how it might damage the throne. Diana giving an explosive BBC interview did not help matters either.
Diana’s Popularity Versus the Monarchy’s
The Queen grew uneasy over Diana’s popularity, which at times overshadowed that of the royal family. Tens of thousands would turn out to see Diana on her public appearances and charities. She became viewed as a symbol of modernity and change. In contrast, the monarchy seemed stuffy.
There was a feeling perhaps that given the choice, the British public in the 1990s would have preferred Diana as their monarch over the traditional Queen. This couldn’t have made the Queen happy, as she worried about safeguarding the throne. The Queen’s focus has always been on duty and preserving the institution of the Crown.
Aftermath of Diana’s Death
Global grief erupted after Diana’s tragic death in a 1997 car accident. The public demanded that the royals properly honor the beloved princess. However, the Queen remained silent in the immediate aftermath, honoring protocol to reflect before addressing the public. The Queen declined to have the royal family return to London or lower the Buckingham Palace flag to half-mast.
The Queen’s stoic response during this highly emotional time appeared cold and callous to her subjects mourning Diana’s passing. It highlighted the sharp contrast between her restrained manner and Diana’s open emotiveness that so endeared her to people. The Queen eventually gave a televised address as a nod to Diana’s memory, but the damage was already done.
Conclusion
While Diana and Queen Elizabeth II were cordial at times, their relationship was hindered by their vastly different personalities and priorities. Diana wanted to modernize the monarchy, while the Queen worked to preserve its traditions. Diana’s glamour and activism often put her at odds with royal protocol. The Queen struggled to rein in Diana’s independent spirit that so captivated the public. Their strained dynamic symbolized the clash between modernity and tradition within the British monarchy.