Failure is an inevitable part of life that everyone experiences at some point. However, it is often viewed negatively and can be disheartening. Many people try to avoid failure at all costs due to fear of embarrassment, disappointment or simply not meeting goals. But failure shouldn’t be avoided or feared – it should be embraced. Failure provides important lessons that success cannot teach. It molds character, builds resilience and shapes who we become. Without failure, we cannot truly experience personal growth. Learning to accept and even appreciate failure is a key part of a fulfilling, successful life.
What is failure?
Failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It occurs when an action does not produce the desired outcome. Failures can happen on a small scale (such as failing a test) or on a large scale (such as a business going bankrupt). Failures can be tangible, straightforward events, or more subjective failures in how we perceive ourselves. But regardless of the scale or type, failure is the result of not achieving goals, falling short of expectations or making mistakes. It affects everyone; no one is immune to experiencing failures throughout their lifetime.
Types of failure
There are many different types and causes of failure, including:
- Academic failure – Failing courses, not graduating.
- Relationship failure – Breakups, divorce.
- Career failure – Getting fired, demoted, passed up for promotion.
- Business failure – Bankruptcy, inability to generate profit.
- Personal failure – Not achieving goals, underperforming.
- Moral failure – Hurting others, making poor choices.
- Technical failure – Software bugs, equipment malfunctions.
Failures can be sporadic one-off events or reoccurring patterns. They can have minor or severe consequences. Failures can be within our control or completely unavoidable. We may play a large or small role in the failure. Every type of failure provides an opportunity for learning and growth.
Why do we fear failure?
Although failure is a universal experience, it is commonly met with fear and avoidance. Many people are afraid to fail because of:
Blow to self-esteem
Failing at something we care about can feel like a blow to our self-worth and competence. It may make us question our skills and abilities.
Feeling inadequate
When we fail, it is easy to feel like we are not good enough. Failure can elicit emotions of inadequacy.
Fear of disappointment
We may have invested significant time, energy and resources into achieving a goal. Failing can feel like we are letting ourselves or others down.
Feeling embarrassed
There is a stigma around failure. We often feel humiliation or shame when we fail publicly. Fear of embarrassment causes many to avoid risk of failure.
Disliking uncertainty
Failure forces us to step into the unknown. The path forward after a failure is often unclear. This uncertainty can be uncomfortable.
Losing motivation
Failing despite our best efforts can dampen motivation. It may drain our energy to continue striving.
While failure provokes many hard emotions, these feelings and fears can be overcome with the right perspective.
Benefits of failure
Failure may be unpleasant, but the lessons learned from failing are invaluable. Failure provides many benefits that pave the way for growth and success.
Develops resilience
Bouncing back from failures builds emotional resilience. With each failure and recovery, we build mental “muscle”. This empowers us to handle next challenges.
Humbles arrogance
Success can breed arrogance and overconfidence. Failure helps deflate ego and reminds us we are human. This humbles us.
Builds empathy
Failing allows us to identify with the struggles others face. We become more understanding and compassionate.
Strengthens persistence
Overcoming failure requires patience and perseverance. Each failure survived gives us grit and tenacity.
Promotes creativity
When we fail, we are forced to look beyond our usual solutions. This stimulates creative problem solving and innovation.
Teaches responsibility
Failure helps hold us accountable for our actions and decisions. This awareness promotes responsibility.
Sharpens abilities
Failure exposes our weaknesses and areas for improvement. Focusing on these makes our skills sharper.
Expands limits
Failure pushes us past our comfort zones. Challenging our limits expands what we believe we can achieve.
Builds wisdom
Failure imparts hard-earned wisdom. We gain insight and foresight to make wiser choices going forward.
How to embrace and learn from failure
Failure only holds us back when we relate to it negatively. However, we can take an optimistic perspective and embrace failure as a teacher. Here are tips:
View it as feedback
See failure as valuable feedback on what went wrong, not a reflection of self-worth. Learn from it.
Keep emotions in check
Allow yourself to feel upset temporarily. But don’t let failure breed excessive self-pity or anxiety. Stay balanced.
Avoid catastrophic thinking
Be wary of black-and-white thinking like “I’m a total failure.” Failure in one aspect does not equal failure at life.
Reframe failure as learning
Look at failure as an experiment that did not go as planned. Focus on the useful takeaways.
Review your process
Analyze the actions and decisions that led to failure. Reflect on what could be improved.
Know when to pivot
Sometimes failure means recognizing a goal is unattainable. Use it as a sign to pivot.
Take baby steps
Break big goals down into smaller milestones. Small failures along the way then feel less defeating.
Learn optimism
Studies show optimists do better in the face of failure. Adopt habits like positive self-talk.
Remember the big picture
One failure is just one event among many in the full scope of life. Maintain perspective.
Famous failures throughout history
Some of the most successful people in history experienced major failures along their journey. Their stories illustrate failure’s role in achievement.
Albert Einstein
Einstein did not speak until age four and did not read until age seven. His teachers told him he would never amount to much. He went on to develop the theory of relativity and win the Nobel Prize in Physics.
Walt Disney
Disney was fired from a newspaper for lacking creativity. He went on to create an animation empire.
Stephen King
King’s first book Carrie was rejected 30 times before it was published. It went on to sell over 1 million copies.
Oprah Winfrey
Winfrey was demoted early in her career as a news anchor for getting “too emotionally invested” in stories. She later became the queen of talk shows.
J.K. Rowling
12 publishers rejected Rowling’s Harry Potter manuscript before one took a chance on it. The series has sold over 500 million copies worldwide.
Michael Jordan
Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. He is now recognized as one of the sport’s greatest players of all time.
Thomas Edison
Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When asked, he said he had not failed 1,000 times but instead successfully found 1,000 ways that did not work.
Steve Jobs
Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. He returned years later to turn Apple into a billion-dollar success.
Vera Wang
Wang failed to make the U.S. Olympics figure skating team. She went on to become an iconic fashion designer.
The most brilliant minds in history all share failures and setbacks. It did not define or deter them but shaped their journey.
Why failure should be embraced, not feared
While failure can feel discouraging, it is a normal, healthy part of life. Failure provides an invaluable opportunity to learn and grow. Without failure, complacency and stagnation are more likely. By embracing failure, we can unlock our full potential. Here are key reasons failure should be embraced:
It is inevitable
There is no escaping failure. It will happen to everyone at some point, no matter how talented or capable. Accepting this inevitability makes it feel less jarring.
It enhances success
Failure puts success in context, making it feel more meaningful. Success feels sweeter after failure.
It builds character
Overcoming failure requires grit, humility, resilience. These character traits make us mentally tougher and wiser.
It provides insight
Failure reveals flaws and weaknesses we can strengthen. Without failure, these may go unnoticed.
It expands possibilities
Something we think impossible may just be very difficult. Failure cracks open doors to new opportunities.
It keeps ego in check
Failure grounds us when success inflates our self-image. It balances perspective.
It inspires innovation
Necessity breeds invention. When failure occurs, it forces creativity and outside-the-box solutions.
Life is an ongoing learning experience. Failure teaches some of life’s most useful lessons. The most effective and fulfilled people embrace their failures, learn from them and allow them to fuel future success. Failure should not evoke shame or fear. It is a springboard to achievement.
Conclusion
Failure is part of every journey. We will all inevitably fail at some point – it should not be feared but embraced. Failure teaches us invaluable lessons, develops character and pushes boundaries. Some of history’s greatest successes emerged from failure. Failure is only permanent if the lesson is missed. When we fail mindfully, reflect and recalibrate, it propels growth. A life with no failure would mean very little striving or self-discovery. Setbacks and mistakes are not signs to give up but opportunities to learn. Failure is not the end; it is a necessary part of the process.