It can be worrying and confusing when your cat, who is usually affectionate and loving, suddenly starts ignoring you and wanting nothing to do with you. There are a number of potential reasons why your cat’s behavior may have changed.
Your Cat is Stressed
Cats are very sensitive to changes in their environment and routine. If something has changed recently that is stressing your cat out, it may cause them to withdraw and avoid you. Some things that can cause stress for cats include:
- A new person or animal in the home
- Moving homes
- Changes to their feeding schedule
- Having visitors stay
- Loud noises like construction or fireworks
- A new piece of furniture
- Children being home from school
Cats feel safest when their environment is stable and predictable. Any disruptions to their routine or things they perceive as threats can make them retreat and hide. If the source of stress is temporary, your cat will likely go back to normal after adjusting to the change. But ongoing stress can cause long-term behavior changes.
Try to identify and minimize anything in your cat’s environment that may be causing stress. Make sure they have a quiet place they can retreat to like a cat tower or under some furniture. Using calming supplements or pheromone diffusers can also help relax an anxious cat.
Your Cat is Mad at You
Cats definitely hold grudges and may give you the cold shoulder treatment if you have offended them in some way. Here are some things that might make your cat mad enough to avoid you:
- You were gone longer than normal
- You disrupted their routine
- You scolded them
- You moved or removed their sleeping spot
- You’re not keeping their litter box clean enough
- You have a new significant other they don’t approve of
- You rearranged the furniture
If your cat started ignoring you suddenly after one of these offenses, that is likely the cause of their change in behavior. The good news is your cat probably won’t hold a grudge forever. Give them some time to cool off and get over it. Make sure you aren’t continuing to do whatever offended them in the first place.
Your Cat is in Pain or Sick
Cats instinctively hide any signs of injury, weakness or sickness. This originates from their days as prey animals when showing vulnerability would make them a target. So if your cat doesn’t feel well, their natural reaction is to withdraw to a secluded spot.
Some signs your cat may be in pain or unwell:
- Hiding more than normal
- Loss of appetite
- Weight loss
- Poor grooming habits
- Eyes or nose seem runny
- Sneezing or coughing
- Limping or straining to urinate or defecate
- Crying out when touched or picked up
Make an appointment with your vet if you notice any of these things. Cats are masters at hiding illness so any behavioral changes could mean your cat isn’t feeling their best. With treatment, they should go back to seeking your attention and affection.
Your Cat Wants More of Your Attention
As counterintuitive as it may seem, sometimes cats ignore you because they actually want more attention from you, not less. By withdrawing and acting cold, they are trying to manipulate you into petting them and showering them with affection. This technique works well on owners who respond by working hard to try and get their cat to engage with them again.
Signs your cat may be craving more attention:
- They act normal around other people or animals
- They come up to you but then walk away when you try to pet them
- They stare at you from across the room
- They meow persistently
- They “present” their back and tail to be petted but saunter off when you go to do it
The solution here is to not give in! Ignore them right back and pay attention to them only when they are being affectionate. Reward them with pets and cuddles when they come up to you. They will learn that good behavior gets rewarded.
They Prefer Someone Else Now
It can be very hurtful if your cat seems to have transferred their allegiance to another person in the home, whether that’s a family member, roommate, or significant other. Cats can be fickle with their affections and decide they like someone else more now, even if you have been their longtime, loyal human.
Reasons your cat may have a new favorite:
- The new person plays with them more
- They are feeding your cat tasty treats
- The new person’s schedule aligns better with when your cat is most active
- Your work schedule changed so you are away more
- The new person’s scent, voice or appearance appeals to your cat for some reason
To win back your cat’s affection, spend time doing the things they enjoy like playing with cat toys, brushing them if they like that, and giving them treats. Having consistent and predictable interactions with them each day can also help reassure them.
They Don’t Like Your New Significant Other
Cats often do not react well to Mom or Dad bringing home a new partner. They can feel jealous and resentful of having to share your affection. Cats will commonly act out by ignoring whoever their owner is dating.
Reasons your cat may dislike your new S.O.:
- They don’t like having your attention diverted away from them
- Your partner has never been around cats and unknowingly antagonizes them
- Their voice, scent or appearance makes your cat uncomfortable
- Your partner is allergic to cats and your cat can sense their dislike
- They don’t like the disruption to their routine
Have your new partner try these tips for getting on your cat’s good side:
- Ignore your cat initially and let them make the first move
- Associate them with rewards by offering treats or food
- Respect their space and don’t force interaction
- Try playing with cat toys to form positive associations
- Allow them access to high perches where they feel safe
With time, patience, and positive reinforcement most cats will eventually accept a new person into their home. But the process can take weeks or months.
They are Annoyed by Something You are Doing
Cats have specific petting preferences and may get annoyed by handling they don’t like. Your cat could be ignoring you because you are inadvertently bugging them by:
- Petting too vigorously or for too long
- Touching their belly, back, tail or feet when they don’t like that
- Holding them when they want down
- Petting them when they are sleepy
- Restraining them on your lap for too long
- Kissing or hugging them when they are not in the mood
Cats also give off subtle body language signs when they are overstimulated or annoyed, such as:
- Whipping or swishing tail
- Twitching or thumping tail
- Swatting or biting you
- Exaggerated yawning
- Ears flattening backwards
- Skin rippling on their back
- Turning their back to you
Pay close attention to your cat’s signals. If they indicate they’ve had enough petting, let them be. Withdrawal of affection is their way of reinforcing their boundaries.
Fear of Children or Other Animals
Cats often become fearful when children or other pets suddenly join the household. Children may want to constantly pick up and handle the cat when all they want is to hide and feel safe. Other pets can also harass and stress out a cat.
Signs your cat is afraid of kids or other animals:
- Hides when the child or other pet is present
- Moves into spots that are hard to access
- Acts aggressive like hissing, swatting or biting
- Urinates outside the litter box
- Seems afraid to enter rooms they previously liked
To help your cat feel safer:
- Give them vertical escape routes like cat trees and shelves
- Set up a cat-free sanctuary room the children or dogs cannot access
- Place clear barriers around their resources like litter boxes and food bowls
- Supervise all interactions between your cat and the child or pet
- Redirect the child or pet if they are disturbing your cat
With time, rewards and compassion, you can help your cat overcome their fear and rebuild their confidence.
Old Age
It is sad but normal for cats to start withdrawing and becoming less social as they reach their senior years. There are several reasons an aging cat may ignore their owners more:
- Dementia resulting in confusion/forgetfulness
- Pain from arthritis or other conditions
- Declining eyesight or hearing making them unsure
- Loss of interest in things they previously enjoyed
- Feeling vulnerable so they hide more
You can help your senior cat by:
- Keeping to a consistent, predictable routine
- Speaking to them when approaching so they recognize you
- Making sure their low perches and litter box are easily accessible
- Scheduling regular vet checks to monitor their health
- Trying calming supplements
- Spending time gently petting and reassuring them
Your old cat relies on you now more than ever, even if they act aloof. Show them patience and do what you can to accommodate the aging process.
Lack of Routine Interactions
Cats thrive on routine and can start to ignore owners if they are not getting regular, consistent interaction. Are you:
- Playing with them less frequently?
- Forgetting to brush them as often?
- No longer feeding them meals at predictable times?
- Not scooping their litter as frequently?
- Going from working at home to back to the office?
Any disruption to your cat’s schedule or lessening of their usual daily activities can cause them to withdraw out of confusion and uncertainty. Make sure you are still dedicating quality time to do the things your cat enjoys on a regular schedule. Consistency is key for maintaining their affection and trust.
Conclusion
If your cat suddenly starts ignoring you, don’t take it personally. Their withdrawal likely has little to do with you and is more a reflection of how they are coping with some change or stressor in their environment. The most common causes are stress from changes, fear, illness or pain, wanting more attention, or growing older.
With some patience and detective work to identify the underlying trigger, in most cases you can get your cat’s affectionate behavior and close bond back on track. Let them know you are there to understand them and help them feel safe again. Even when they act aloof, your cat still depends on you for their health and happiness. Consistent care and compassion will go a long way to re-earning your cat’s trust.