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Would you cancel a date because of your period?


Having your period can be an inconvenient and uncomfortable experience for many women. The cramps, bloating, and mess can make you want to curl up at home rather than go out on a date. So when your period happens to fall on the same day you have a date planned, you may be wondering if you should cancel. There are good arguments on both sides of this dilemma. Here are some key considerations when deciding whether or not to call off a date due to your period.

Thecase for canceling the date

There are some valid reasons why you may want to reconsider keeping the date during your period:

  • You’rein pain or feeling unwell – Severe cramps, backache, headaches and other period symptoms can leave you feeling lousy. Why struggle through a date when you’re miserable?
  • You’re worried about leaks or accidents – No one wants to be constantly worried about leakage or stains while trying to have a fun time on a date. It can be stressful trying to prevent accidents.
  • Your mood is impacted – Hormone fluctuations before and during your period can cause mood swings like irritability, anxiety or sadness. You may not be the best company on a date.
  • You don’t feel sexy – When you’re bloated and crampy, you probably won’t feel very confident or sexy. The date may end up being awkward.
  • You can’t participate in planned activities – If your date involves strenuous activities, swimming or wearing light clothing, your period could get in the way.
  • You’d rather rest and take care of yourself – It’s understandable to want to put offsocial obligations and take time for self-care while menstruating.

Overall, there are many good reasons you may prefer to reschedule your date for after your period ends rather than power through it. Don’t feel obligated to show up if you know you won’t enjoy yourself.

Reasons to keep the date

On the other hand, there are also some benefits to keeping your commitment and going on the date during your period:

  • You may feel fine – Your periods may be fairly manageable with minimal symptoms, so you can still have fun.
  • You don’t want to cancel last minute – If the date is today or tomorrow, it may seem overly abrupt to suddenly cancel on your date.
  • It sets a precedent – Cancelling any time you have your period can establish an expectation you may not want to maintain long-term.
  • Your date may not mind – Some partners understand periods are natural and won’t be deterred if you explain the situation.
  • You can modify activities – You may be able to work around limitations by choosing different date activities.
  • It shows commitment – By showing up during a inconvenient time, you demonstrate dedication to your date.
  • Your period won’t last forever – Periods usually only last about 3-7 days so you can get back to normal activities soon.

There are benefits to powering through your period too. It shows you are interested in your date and the relationship. A little discomfort may be worth it.

Key factors to consider

When making this decision, here are some important things to take into account:

  • Levelof pain/symptoms – If it’s a particularly painful or heavy period, canceling is more understandable.
  • Lengthof relationship – Canceling may be worse for a newer relationship versus an established partner.
  • Type of planned date – A strenuous, long date may be harder to get through.
  • Yourcomfort level – Don’t force yourself if you’ll be miserable the whole time.
  • Partner’s personality – How understanding are they likely to be about periods?
  • Pregnancyconcerns – Are you relying on condoms or can you abstain during your period?

Think about what factors apply to your unique situation as you make your decision. There is no one right answer that applies to every couple and date.

Quick answers to key questions

Here are some brief responses to common questions women have about cancelling dates due to periods:

Is it rude to cancel a first date because of your period?

It’s generally not considered rude as long as you give adequate notice, politely explain, and offer to reschedule. Most people understand periods are an unavoidable nuisance.

What’s the best way to cancel a date due to your period?

Be upfront but discreet, apologetic, thankful for their understanding, and suggest an alternative date. Don’t feel a need to give specific details about your flow or symptoms.

Should you offer an alternative date right away when cancelling for your period?

Yes, offering another day shows you are still enthusiastic about the date. Provide a few options if possible.

Can you just make an excuse rather than admit it’s because of your period?

You can, but transparency about the real reason is better. It avoids awkwardness if you later have to cancel again for your next period.

How much notice should you give to cancel a date due to menstruation?

As much notice as reasonably possible, preferably at least 24 hours. Last minute cancellations should be avoided unless you have an unexpected emergency.

Is it ever TMI to tell a date you need to cancel due to your period starting?

Some basic information is fine, but going into extensive detail about your symptoms, flow, or supplies is likely unnecessary. Keep it simple.

The pros and cons of canceling

To summarize the key pros and cons of cancelling a date due to your period:

Pros of Canceling Cons of Canceling
Avoid pain or feeling unwell Date may be frustrated or disappointed
Prevent leaks or accidents May seem flaky or uninterested
Rest and take care of yourself Sets a precedent you’ll cancel any time you have your period
Wait until you feel more sexy Miss an opportunity to bond and get closer
Pick an activity better suited for your period Cancellations early in dating may make partner lose interest

Alternatives to completely cancelling

Rather than calling off the entire date, here are some compromises to consider:

  • Suggest a low-key or at-home date instead of going out.
  • Plan a shorter date or activity rather than an all-day event.
  • Offer to do the driving or plan date near your home so you can deal with period issues.
  • Reschedule the most active parts of the date for another time.
  • Divide the date into multiple segments over several days.

With some creative planning, you may be able to work around your period while still having an enjoyable date experience. This can be a good solution when you don’t want to cancel completely.

How to have the period talk with a new date

If you decide to be upfront about needing to cancel due to your period, here are some tips for having that discussion:

  • Break the news early once you realize your period timing issue.
  • Say something like “I’m really sorry, but I just got my period today and won’t be feeling up to our plans tomorrow. I hope you understand.”
  • Gauge your date’s reaction before offering TMI about your symptoms or flow.
  • Thank your date for being so understanding and flexible. Appreciation goes a long way.
  • Focus the conversation on rescheduling, not the gory details of your menstrual cycle.
  • Make it clear you are still excited for the date and optimistic about your relationship potential.

Having open, judgement-free communication about periods can set a good precedent for your relationship. Ultimately, a little menstruation probably won’t deter the right partner.

Working around your period long-term

Assuming the relationship progresses and you continue to date this person, you’ll likely have your period come up periodically during future date plans as well. Here are some long-term tips for handling periods when dating:

  • Keep tampons or pads with you when active dates are coming up just in case.
  • Add your period to your shared calendar so it’s visible when making date plans.
  • Come up with a list of backup date ideas that are period-friendly like movies, cooking together, art galleries.
  • Plan dates at the start of your cycle before your period begins.
  • Come up with fun at-home date ideas so you can still connect during heavy flow days.
  • Remind your partner it’s just a few days a month so your social life isn’t ruled by periods.

With some planning and open communication, getting your period doesn’t have to derail your dating life. Be prepared, willing to adapt plans, and keep your partner in the loop.

Conclusion

Getting your period the same time as a new date can create a stressful dilemma. There are valid pros and cons both for powering through the date and for rescheduling for after your period. Key factors like your relationship status, planned activities, and level of symptoms should guide your decision. If you opt to cancel, explain politely, focus on prompt rescheduling, and avoid TMI. With the right precautions and supportive parter, periods don’t have to stand in the way of an exciting dating life.