Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive, unwanted thoughts and repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety. OCD anxiety can be an extremely distressing and debilitating condition. Here’s an in-depth look at how OCD anxiety feels.
Uncontrollable intrusive thoughts
A hallmark of OCD is the presence of obsessive, intrusive thoughts that trigger significant anxiety. These obsessive thoughts are unwanted, disturbing, and uncontrollable. They pop into the mind repeatedly throughout the day and cause extreme uneasiness and distress.
Common obsessions in OCD include:
- Fear of contamination or germs
- Need for symmetry or order
- Forbidden or taboo thoughts involving sex, religion, or harm
- Excessive doubt or fear of making mistakes
These obsessive thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning they feel foreign and at odds with the person’s true desires and personality. The individual with OCD recognizes that the thoughts are senseless or excessive, yet they cannot control or stop them.
The intrusive obsessive thoughts provoke intensely uncomfortable feelings of anxiety. The anxiety can range from moderate but nagging unease to full-blown panic attacks.
Those with OCD describe the anxiety as overwhelming, unrelenting, and consuming. It hijacks the mind and makes it difficult to focus on anything else. The anxiety feels like a siren blaring inside the head.
The level of anxiety is disproportionate to the realistic significance of the triggering thought. For example, forgetting to lock the door may provoke extreme terror about burglaries, assault, or other horrific imagined outcomes.
In a desperate attempt to alleviate the anxiety, the individual engages in compulsive rituals or behaviors. Common OCD compulsions include:
- Excessive washing or cleaning
- Checking and rechecking
- Counting or repeating actions a certain number of times
- Arranging items symmetrically
- Mentally reviewing events or conversations
- Seeking constant reassurance
These rituals provide temporary relief from anxiety but reinforce the obsessive-compulsive cycle. The person relies on them to reduce anxiety caused by the obsessions.
People with OCD may spend hours each day engaged in rituals, yet never feel satisfied that they have done enough to alleviate their anxiety. The compulsive behaviors become time-consuming, distressing, and interfere significantly with daily life.
Feelings of shame and embarrassment
Many people with OCD suffer from intense feelings of shame about their disorder. They may go to great lengths to hide their symptoms from others.
The unwanted obsessive thoughts often focus on topics that people find unacceptable, disgusting, or that go against their personal values. As a result, they feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed, even when recognizing that they cannot control the thoughts.
The compulsive rituals may also cause feelings of humiliation. Sufferers know that behaviors like repeatedly washing hands or driving back home to check locks are irrational, yet feel powerless to stop themselves.
Fear of losing control
OCD provokes a persistent, looming fear of losing control. Those afflicted feel like their mind has been hijacked, and they are hostage to the endless obsessive thoughts and compulsive urges.
Sufferers describe living in constant fear that the OCD will worsen or overcome them entirely. They may fear “going crazy” and being unable to function.
Even if current symptoms are mild, the disorder fuels a dread that things will spiral out of control if not kept in check. This sometimes leads to exacerbated vigilance and compulsions.
Feeling trapped and hopeless
The unrelenting nature of OCD thoughts and rituals leads many people to feel trapped and hopeless about overcoming the disorder. The anxiety and compulsions become an inescapable, exhausting cycle.
Sufferers describe the devastating feeling that nothing will make the OCD better. No matter how hard they try to resist the thoughts or rituals, OCD always fights back. They worry that OCD symptoms will persist indefinitely.
This hopeless mindset exacerbates the condition. Those afflicted may stop actively trying to challenge symptoms because they feel defeated in their ability to change.
Impact on daily life and functioning
OCD can exert a far-reaching, detrimental impact on daily life and ability to function. The constant battle with anxiety and compulsions consumes mental energy and prevents living fully.
Common areas of life impaired by OCD include:
- Relationships – OCD sabotages intimacy, communication, socializing, and enjoyment of family/friends.
- Work or school – Symptoms reduce productivity, performance, focus, and attendance.
- Routines – Simple tasks like getting ready, commuting, or running errands require enormous effort.
- Sleep – OCD thoughts and rituals frequently disrupt sleep quality and quantity.
- Emotional health – Those afflicted are at higher risk for conditions like depression and low self-esteem.
OCD can make it tremendously difficult for those afflicted to fully “show up” and engage in life. It’s common for people to structure their entire lives around avoiding triggers and accommodating their OCD behaviors.
Feeling isolated and misunderstood
The enormous burden of OCD is largely an invisible, internal struggle. Many people with OCD report feeling painfully alone and misunderstood.
They may hide the extent of their symptoms from loved ones out of shame, not wanting to be judged or thought of as “crazy.” Friends and family often struggle to comprehend the irrationality of OCD thinking and behaviors.
Furthermore, the isolating nature of OCD symptoms prevents some from maintaining social connections and support networks. The disorder essentially traps people in their own minds.
Being surrounded by people yet feeling like no one truly understands the anguish of OCD can worsen feelings of despair and hopelessness.
Hyperawareness of physical and mental sensations
OCD sufferers frequently describe feeling hyperaware of physical sensations within their bodies. They tune into subtle feelings, aches, pains, or discomforts that others barely notice.
This hypervigilance stems from the constant scanning for potential threats or OCD triggers. An itch, headache, or other anomalies get magnified. Those with contamination OCD may fixate on normal bodily functions like swallowing or blinking.
In addition to physical sensations, people with OCD pay excessive attention to their own thoughts and thought processes. The mental rituals and rumination around OCD obsessions strengthens this tendency.
Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
The barrage of obsessive thoughts makes it extremely challenging for those with OCD to focus their attention, think clearly, and make decisions.
Concentration is constantly disrupted by the need to perform mental or physical rituals in response to obsessions. OCD hijacks the mind’s bandwidth.
In addition, OCD fosters doubts and an intense fear of making the wrong decision. Completing tasks and making choices becomes agonizingly difficult.
The ceaseless mental strain of OCD symptoms leads to profound physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.
The effort to resist compulsive urges combined with relentless anxiety saps energy reserves. Those afflicted feel psychologically drained from the disorder’s endless assault on the mind.
Many people with OCD also suffer from poor sleep due to nighttime symptoms. Physical restlessness, racing thoughts, and repetitive rituals steal quality sleep time.
This physical and mental exhaustion worsens OCD symptoms by reducing one’s capacity to fight back. The person feels too tired to interrupt the obsessive-compulsive cycle.
Anger, irritability, and low frustration tolerance
Many individuals with OCD experience anger, irritability, and low frustration tolerance as a result of the disorder. Anger may be directed inward or outward.
On one hand, sufferers feel deep frustration toward the unrelenting OCD symptoms and limitations the disorder imposes on their life. They are fed up and angry that they cannot control their own mind.
On the other hand, OCD compulsions and anxiety often manifest as impatience and irritation toward external factors. For example, getting stuck in traffic or waiting in line unleashes intense annoyance.
The lack of peace and mental freedom that OCD causes leaves those impacted more vulnerable to frustration.
Fear of triggering obsession
A hallmark of OCD is intense fear of triggers that could set off an obsessive-compulsive episode. As a result, sufferers may avoid a broad range of situations, places, objects, and thoughts.
For example, someone with contamination fears may avoid public restrooms, mass transit, medical offices, and social gatherings. Someone with violent obsession may avoid knives, media with distressing content, or becoming a parent.
The person curates their life in an attempt to stay “safe” from potential triggers. This creates significant life restrictions and reinforces the OCD fears.
Misdiagnosis or delayed diagnosis
Many people with OCD are initially misdiagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, or obsessive compulsive personality disorder before receiving an accurate OCD diagnosis.
Some of the most common reasons for misdiagnosis include:
- Failure to recognize OCD symptoms
- Not realizing obsessions and compulsions are present
- Misreading OCD behaviors as traits of person’s character or personality
- Focusing only on depressive symptoms
- Patients not disclosing OCD symptoms due to shame
This misdiagnosis often delays appropriate OCD treatment. The individual may struggle for years without realizing they have a treatable disorder.
In summary, OCD is characterized by distressing obsessions, overwhelming anxiety, exhausting mental rituals, severe impairment in functioning, and feelings of shame and hopelessness.
Those with OCD feel trapped inside a mind they cannot control. The disorder is mentally and physically draining, fosters isolation, and prevents living life to the fullest.
Seeking an accurate OCD diagnosis is the first step to accessing effective treatment and support. OCD recovery is possible, though persistence through the treatment process is crucial.