Feeling alone can be one of the most difficult emotions for a human to face. We are created by God to be in community, yet there are times when we feel cut off and isolated from others. Jesus understands this deep pain, and He speaks into our loneliness with truth, wisdom, and comfort. Though you may walk through dark valleys, you need not fear, for Jesus promises to be with you always.
Jesus understands what it means to feel alone
Jesus faced intense loneliness during His time on earth. At the end of His life, His disciples deserted Him in His darkest hour. As Jesus agonized in the Garden of Gethsemane, His disciples fell asleep when He asked them to keep watch with Him (Matthew 26:36-46). When the mob came to arrest Him, “Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.” (Matthew 26:56) The disciples scattered, abandoning their Teacher and Lord in His moment of greatest need.
Even more excruciating was Jesus’ experience of abandonment on the cross. As He bore the weight of the world’s sin, Jesus cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) The Father turned away from the Son as Jesus took on the full penalty for human rebellion. Jesus descended into the deepest pit of loneliness, being forsaken by the Father and all His followers, in order to redeem us.
Because Jesus experienced acute isolation Himself, He fully understands the pain of feeling alone and deserted. The author of Hebrews writes, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) We can come boldly to Jesus in our loneliness because He has been there. He knows what it is to be forsaken by those closest to you. You can take heart that Jesus has endured your struggle and He cares.
Jesus promises to always be with you
Not only does Jesus understand our loneliness, He also promises to always be present with His followers. Before He ascended into heaven, Jesus told the disciples, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) This promise was first given specifically to the apostles, but it extends to all those who put their faith in Christ. Though others may abandon us, Jesus assures us that He will be with us always.
Jesus explains that this ongoing presence is made possible through the Holy Spirit. He told His disciples, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.” (John 14:16) The Holy Spirit indwells believers and unites them with Christ. Jesus never leaves or forsakes His children, but abides with them through the Spirit (John 15:1-11).
Therefore when you feel deserted by others, you can remember Jesus’ promise never to leave you alone. The Lord Himself is always present through His Spirit. In your darkest and loneliest moments, you can cling to the truth that Jesus is still with you.
Jesus commands us to love one another
One of the main ways God comforts us in our isolation is through the body of Christ. Jesus calls His followers to sacrificially love and care for one another, so that when one suffers, the rest come alongside to provide comfort.
Jesus tells His disciples in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” This love is the marker of a true disciple. It reflects the deep affection and selflessness Jesus demonstrated towards His followers.
In John 15:12-13, Jesus expands on what it means to love one another: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Christian love is a willing, sacrificial commitment to the wellbeing of others. It pushes believers past their natural selfishness to care for, serve, and suffer alongside their spiritual brothers and sisters.
When you feel alone or uncared for, take the initiative to love others as Jesus commanded. Reach out to your spiritual family and Christian community. Share your heart with them, minister to those who are also hurting, and pray for one another. As you pour out Christ’s love on fellow believers, you make meaningful connections that ease loneliness. The body of Christ is designed to show us we are never truly forsaken.
Jesus warns that following Him may lead to rejection
Though Christian community provides great comfort, important to realize that following Jesus does not guarantee you will no longer experience loneliness. In fact, Jesus warns that choosing to align your life with God’s ways will lead to increased persecution and isolation from the surrounding culture. In John 15:18-19 Jesus tells His disciples, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”
When you feel rejection because of your faith, remember it is Jesus the world first rejected. If your values now clash with society’s values, this confirms you are on the right path. Though it is immensely painful to lose friends because you follow Christ, we can take solace in the fact we are suffering for the sake of righteousness. Jesus pronounced blessings on those persecuted for pursuing God (Matthew 5:11-12). Stay rooted in the support of your church community when the world turns against you. Jesus overcomes the world and all its hostility.
How to respond when you feel deserted
Loneliness and feelings of abandonment are incredibly draining both physically and emotionally. Here are some ways to respond to isolation in a spiritually uplifting way:
Pour out your heart to God
The Psalms are full of David’s honest cries to God in the midst of despair. When loneliness strikes, follow David’s example. Pour out your grief, fear, doubt and heartache to your Father. God can handle even our most intense emotions. “Cast your cares on the Lord for he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). As we open our souls to God, He often pours His love and comfort in.
Look for how God may be at work
Ask God to show you what He is accomplishing through your season of loneliness. Perhaps He is drawing you into deeper communion with Himself. Maybe He is teaching you to rely fully on Him. Could He be pruning away earthly attachments that hinder spiritual growth? Bring your questions and open your eyes to see God’s hand at work in your desert place. “Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3).
Immerse yourself in the Word
God’s Word is called the Bread of Life for good reason: it nourishes our starving souls. When you feel empty or forgotten, fill up on the Word. Scriptures like Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up,” or Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God” remind us of God’s faithful presence. His Word revives us.
Reach out for help
Do not isolate yourself further when loneliness hits. Pride tells us to withdraw into independence. God’s grace tells us to reach out for support in the body of Christ. Call a Christian friend. Seek counseling. Go to church even when you least feel like it. Ask for prayer. God often comforts us through the gentle care of His people. Reveal your need and let others minister to you.
Help someone else
Pull your eyes off yourself by serving another person. Write a note of encouragement to a family member. Babysit a neighbor’s kids. Visit a sick friend. Get involved in ministries in your church. As we turn our attention to the needs around us, we find renewed purpose which dispels despair. When you pour out on others, you find you are not as alone as you had felt.
God will one day wipe away every tear
As Christians we can have hope that the loneliness we feel now will not last forever. Revelation 21:4 promises a coming day when: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” On that glorious day when we are finally in the full presence of our Savior, He will personally comfort us. When we see His face and are reunited with loved ones we have lost, the heartache of this age will vanish. What a joyous future we have to anticipate!
Until then, we can confidently cast our loneliness on the Lord who passionately loves us. Jesus is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). He is the God who gathers the outcasts into community and family. He is the Shepherd who comes after the lost sheep, until He finds it (Luke 15: 4-7). He is the healer of broken hearts. He will never leave us or forsake us, no matter how alone or desperate we may feel today. Hold fast to Jesus, the faithful companion and comforter of the lonely.
Conclusion
Loneliness carries a sting that hurts us deeply. But we have a Savior who understands what it is to suffer isolation. Jesus experienced ultimate abandonment on the cross, so we could be welcomed into His family forever. When you feel deserted, pour out your heart to Him. Search His Word for comfort and guidance. Let your Christian community lift you up in love. Look for what God is teaching you in the wilderness. Help and serve others from your place of need. And set your hope fully on the day when Jesus Himself will wipe away your every tear. You are never alone, because Christ is with you.
